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Old 01-02-2011, 02:07 PM
lorlaman lorlaman is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: East York
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Default Application For Spousal?

Happy new year to all...

Here I go...sorry for the long story.

My ex was suffering from side effects of the drug Dexamphetamine she took for 5 years for weight loss, and refused to get off the drugs because she was addicted. She was moody, paranoid (you have no idea) and believed I was trying to poison her since food did not taste right. She assaulted me in Jan 2010, she called 911 thinking that I would be arrested for protecting myself, the police arrived and she gave her statement, the kids gave theirs and I gave mine. She admitted to the assault and they charged her. While away for 3 months unable to come home and ordered to stay away from me, she did not work, and I paid for all her accommodations and legals.

She made a deal with the courts where she weaned off the drugs and they dropped the charges. Once cleared of the charges and a peace bond was issued, she returned home May 2010. We (the kids and I) believed and tried very hard to keep the family together and put the past behind us, but she was bitter and wanted no part of it trying to make home life miserable for all of us. She then assaulted my older daughter July 2010, police did nothing but the incident was documented.

Then, in October of 2010, she assaulted me again and I had had enough. Since she was no longer on the drugs, I felt that either there were long term effects from the drugs, or she simply wanted out of the relationship because of mid life crisis. Regardless, my younger daughter called 911 and she was arrested again and out of the house. I had defacto custody and this time, I paid nothing for her and even took her off all benefits and any support I used to give her. She took to cleaning houses for cash ($25/hr) and lives on her credit cards. She lives in a basement apartment 10 minutes from us, our house put up for sale in Oct 2010 one week before the assault.

During the two assaults, I was left with the house and everything attached to it becoming the mom and dad overnight and having to keep the place in order for myself and my two girls aged 12 and 14 and maintain going to work 1 hour drive each way. We live in the country and the kids get bussed to school. I leave for work at 6am and return at 4:40pm. We have a huge mortgage ($325k), huge taxes ($7,100) and huge hydro bills.

She did not work during our 26 year common law relationship and only had jobs that lasted very short periods. Now my lawyer wants me to go see him because she has put in an "application", I assume is for spousal support.

I have many questions and not sure if my lawyer is really on the ball;

1. I make $90K year and need to know what my spousal payments will more than likely be. My lawyer says about $2,000 a month! That is about half of my monthly income. I can barely afford my bills right now without the SS.

2. Should she not pay me child support? She chased access for the kids but has not exercised it and has little if any contact with the kids. The kids do not want to see her and I have left access completely up to their wishes considering their ages.

3. Her mother passed away a week before Christmas and I would expect she will receive some inheritance since her mother owned a $400,000 house which will probably be split 4 ways between her and her two brothers and one sister. Will the court take this into consideration?

4. She works for cash and her income cannot be verified, how will the court address this, how should I address this?

5. How long will I have to pay SS, she could have at least improved her work skills by taking courses if she did not want to work. Since the kids are in school daily from 9 till 3:30, I am maintaining a job while they are in school, why could she not have done the same?

6. I could have retired 2 years ago since I have been with the same company for 31+ years and have a pension. I didn't retire because we could not afford it and I hoped she would get a job and I retire and took on a part time job. What would happen if I retired now and reduced my income to about $35,000? Am I obligated to work indefinitely because I have to pay her spousal? Am I allowed to retire ever?

Please offer any advice you can from your experiences.

best regards...