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Old 06-29-2021, 01:00 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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There is a lot to unpack here which I will get to but a few things first.

Your partner agreed on his own. Whether or not his exs lawyer bullied him is irrelevant, he agreed and there is nothing you can do about it other than ask questions and get a good lawyer.

Second, post secondary is pretty straight forward for many. You do have to disclose all of his loans and grants whether you want to or not. It is necessary to calculate expenses. Expenses are tuition, books and equipment as well as transportation. CS is still paid if the child lives at home.

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Originally Posted by Clarityseeker View Post
We have accepted the terms of the order and will raise certain items to readdress in 2 years when the ex moves to change the order again based on the older child completing school and the younger child having 2 years (presumably) left.
Your partner can file himself if there is a change or the order is lacking clarity or even is his ex is not following it.

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My partner has just sent the first school bill to the ex for her proportionate share for older son's semester that started in May and goes to August.
Did he outline kids share, his share and hers?

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She is beside herself because she wasn't expected this (they knew he changed programs mid-way and his new program started in January - but made their own assumptions about the rest)
Ignore how she feels, its irrelevant.

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she is now demanding that we disclose all OSAP loans/grants information from the beginning of his 1st year of College.
Send them to her. The grant portion comes off the top, the remaining costs are split 1/3 to kid and the rest split proportionate to income. If there is an RESP it is applied depending on who paid into it. If they jointly paid into it, it is applied to the 2/3 shared by the parents. If the kid paid into it, its his. Or if they agree it can cone off the full amount. What she cant do is expect all of kids loans to be applied as those are his share and mom is expected to pay her share.

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- Our position is - No - Order is not retroactive and 1st year has already been dealt with - so the past year info is not relevant. Going forward - from date of order - we will certainly disclose all that info.
Give it to her and tell her that if she insists on reopening year 1 then you want it all recalculated accordingly. If she has to pay, insist she pay.

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The lawyer and DRO lectured and shamed my partner at the CC because the lawyer painted a picture of my partner as not accepting transportation as a s.7 expense.
Lawyers do a lot of bullshitting, your partner needs a thicker skin.

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transportation is a s.7 expense that he should be paying the [younger] child's transportation costs to school from their home at the Government posted rate.

Public transportation is not available because they live out of district approx 40 min drive to the school. My partner had no rebuttal on the spot and ended up agreeing to this without taking the time to properly consider it - it is just the way it happened, it was absolutely heart wrenching in retrospect. My partner earns a very humble wage - he owns nothing is still digging out of debt that snowballed due to his divorce from this woman.

My Partner has never disputed CS (for which there is a set off now - until he has to pay again in 2 years) nor does he dispute his proportionate share of school costs that we are working a plan for to manage it. Nor does he dispute the other expenses - including travel - however - what has been set is unreasonable as he has no control over where they live and when he suggest that his son live with him and attend the same university (didn't location) that was within bussing from him, the DRO attacked him suggesting that is 'inappropriate to have those discussions with his son'. If he is actually expected to pay this on top of everything else (especially when CS kicks in again in 2 years) - he will not even be able to afford his share of the household expenses for him and his other son.
Im confused. Does student live with you near school? Transportation is a section expense if there is no public transportation option. If kid lives with you then you calculate how much it costs to get to school. As for kid two, you can file a new motion to change when they go to school if you cant agree. This kid could even go away to school. Technically your partner pays a third of the cost to get kid there. If they claim $75 a week then its proportionate to income on the 2/3 of that costs. He can also dispute it. If she is dropping him off then your partner can say I will give you x amount for gas each week. She is choosing that option to save herself money so it applied to the whole situation. If kid had his own car then the costs would be gas and maintenance split between the three. Her choice to move is hers. If she is dropping kid off then there are limited costs.

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It absolutely baffles me after all these years why she just cant accept what is reasonable, pay appropriately for her kids and get on with her life.
Let it go. Difficult people will always be difficult. The good news is it will end soon.

Your partner needs to stop agreeing on the spot. Hes allowed to stop and think and his lawyer should be giving him better advice.
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