Originally posted by Hide on Bush
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Paragraph 8 of a SC Brief Help
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Originally posted by Hide on Bush View PostUnsure where this is coming from but its wildly inaccurate. I mean some things here your just completely making it up in your own head...
This is why I am seeking assistance and thankfully people here are willing to assist. I mean if you would have provided anything even close to accurate in your post then even that would be helpful, but you left TONS of information out that I have posted in order to ensure your narrative appeared correct. I mean some of the stuff you posted wasn't even close to being true ie ex having weekly parenting-time, or me trying to get my Ex to watch my Son for 4 months...
Originally posted by Hide on Bush View Post- Ex has only had every other weekend and for the past year, every Wednesday for a few hours. This has occurred since our Son was 3 years old. Prior to that, he had supervised visitations.Originally posted by Hide on Bush View PostObviously my ex has the first right to watch the child during that time, but can those 15 weeks total be used against me for a claim to seek split decision-making and split parenting-time despite a high conflict relationship and against an OCL assessment recommendation?
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Originally posted by StillPaying View PostDid I make it up?
Says right in the post you quoted EOW. Not weekly.
As for the other posts, it says right in it that I was trying to get my husband to watch my Son but was unsure if my Ex had the legal right to. And if he did, was he going to use that against me. If you saw that as me being ready "to leave kid with ex for 4 months" then you really need to re-read it.
Here I'll quote the stuff you decided to ignore...
Originally posted by Hide on Bush View PostSo I have full decision-making responsibility, and ex gets child EOW and has been like that essentially since birth.
I am finishing up school and looking to apply to a position which requires about 10 weeks of training in Alberta, then 5 weeks in Vancouver before returning home.
Obviously my ex has the first right to watch the child during that time, but can those 15 weeks total be used against me for a claim to seek split decision-making and split parenting-time despite a high conflict relationship and against an OCL assessment recommendation?
Is there any case law that allows a new spouse that right to watch the child? I mean based on actual time with my kid, my spouse has had more than my ex.Originally posted by Hide on Bush View PostMy plan of action is to show my ex that it is in the best interest of the child to remain with my spouse during that time. Child is living in a stable environment that has been consistent in his life for our 5 years of marriage. A routine is in place, as well as a parenting-plan with a substantial support system which doesn't include anyone on the ex's side of the family (by their own decision). My spouse provides the health and dental benefits, as well organizes with me medical, dental, extra-curricular activities, and counseling sessions. My ex doesn't know who the child's doctors are (medical, family, and/or dental) by his own free will. I have offered to provide the information and was basically told to go away. My ex doesn't know his teachers, nor does he participate in any school work/activities.
So...
Originally posted by StillPaying View PostDid I make it up?Last edited by Hide on Bush; 05-04-2022, 02:24 PM.
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Originally posted by Hide on Bush View PostSays right in the post you quoted EOW. Not weekly.
As for the other posts, it says right in it that I was trying to get my husband to watch my Son but was unsure if my Ex had the legal right to. And if he did, was he going to use that against me. If you saw that as me being ready "to leave kid with ex for 4 months" then you really need to re-read it.
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Originally posted by rockscan View PostThere�s no need to continue to defend yourself. Your ex filed a motion and you have to respond. Now that it�s before the court you are obligated to follow through.
OP filed a MTC, Ex responded - now it's before the court.
This does not mean OP should continue to file useless motions.
Ex-party
Motion to stop cc
Now factum, 3 affidavits, gigs of pictures and videos....for a simple motion?
2 pages to respond to "what are the issues for this sc" (3-4 months away)
The blind shouldn't lead the blind. They need a proper lawyer - not encouragement.
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Originally posted by StillPaying View PostSomewhat right.
OP filed a MTC, Ex responded - now it's before the court.
This does not mean OP should continue to file useless motions.
Ex-party
Motion to stop cc
Now factum, 3 affidavits, gigs of pictures and videos....for a simple motion?
2 pages to respond to "what are the issues for this sc" (3-4 months away)
The blind shouldn't lead the blind. They need a proper lawyer - not encouragement.
As for the pictures and videos, I offered to provide those to OC because they completely disproved Exs claim. Ex was claiming son doesn’t live with me. I have security camera footage showing he did. They were never added to anything filed to the court. If anything, they were referenced as being available at the request of the court or OC.
Originally posted by LMum View PostStop it.... stop responding !! you don't need to explain yourself. We all believe you.Last edited by Hide on Bush; 05-04-2022, 02:41 PM.
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Originally posted by Hide on Bush View Post...
It's good you're listening to your lawyer. I would let them worry about writing the brief when the time comes. And it's also good you understand this isn't a simple matter.
Let's flip it. Ex says you abuse him at every exchange.
Ex tells cops, who do nothing but report it.
Ex tells counselors, who reports it and advises to avoid exchanges.
Same for cas, ocl...
Ex doesn't have "proven claims".
Ex has hearsay from 3rd parties who are only relaying what Ex told them.
Should your rights be removed on this alone? Without expert reports, cross examination, viva-voce evidence...
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Originally posted by StillPaying View PostI cherry picked this too. Perhaps you just forget what you write...
It's good you're listening to your lawyer. I would let them worry about writing the brief when the time comes. And it's also good you understand this isn't a simple matter.
Let's flip it. Ex says you abuse him at every exchange.
Ex tells cops, who do nothing but report it.
Ex tells counselors, who reports it and advises to avoid exchanges.
Same for cas, ocl...
Ex doesn't have "proven claims".
Ex has hearsay from 3rd parties who are only relaying what Ex told them.
Should your rights be removed on this alone? Without expert reports, cross examination, viva-voce evidence...
I’ll put it to you this way if you want to throw scenarios out there…
If your child was saying they were being bullied at school and would kill themselves if you made them go, would you send them without a care in the world?
How about if the principal, teacher, and bully said they don’t believe your kid is suicidal and just seeking attention so they won’t do anything to change the environment. Would you still send your kid without a care in the world?
How about if a therapist, who has no skin in the game, said there was a substantial chance your kid would kill himself if he went, and recommended long term care to help your kid. But that care is 10 months away. Would you still send your kid to school without a care in the world?
I think the major piece your ignoring is that my kid said he would kill himself if he went with his Dad. When I took him to get help, both his family doctor and a child therapist both agreed there was a chance. That was after talking with my Son. That’s why they both did priority referrals.
I think my Sons right to not be placed in a situation where he is suicidal and claiming he is being abused is just as equal as my Exs right to see his child. And the caveat is my Son is making that decision on his own. Not me. And before you claim I should be taking every step to facilitate access, I’d suggest reviewing this post and tell me what else I can do, because you know what? I would try it.
I have taken every suggestion provided on how to fix this and ran with it with no results.Last edited by Hide on Bush; 05-04-2022, 03:26 PM.
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Originally posted by Hide on Bush View PostI think the major piece your ignoring is that my kid said he would kill himself if he went with his Dad.
Kid wasn't admitted to hospital, which I think would be the norm. No mention of meds, just continue with his counselor while hoping to get a specialist in a few months. Life continues as usual while he gets to say no to dad. Although, he has no issue with continuing with dad if dad puts his apology in writing. Dad's scared of grammar, so kid's still scared of dad, while mum has no interest in a reward/punishment option (parenting) and waits for others to enforce.
It's tough. Hopefully this ordeal will help him be a better parent but evidence can be cruel.
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Originally posted by StillPaying View PostThis is the million dollar issue. Tough issue; but all signs point to school/dad being right.
Kid wasn't admitted to hospital, which I think would be the norm. No mention of meds, just continue with his counselor while hoping to get a specialist in a few months. Life continues as usual while he gets to say no to dad. Although, he has no issue with continuing with dad if dad puts his apology in writing. Dad's scared of grammar, so kid's still scared of dad, while mum has no interest in a reward/punishment option (parenting) and waits for others to enforce.
It's tough. Hopefully this ordeal will help him be a better parent but evidence can be cruel.
Doctors don't just hand out medication without a thorough assessment. Especially to children.
Its not like there was no care sought at all. Within two days I had my Son in front of his family doctor with a referral to a psychiatrist and in front of a child therapist at Maltby with a referral to long term therapy. Care like that doesn't come instantly.
Further, the letter ordeal wasn't my Son seeking a letter and everything would be fixed. This is stemming from CAS telling him that a wonderful starting point in re-sparking communication is through a letter. My Son did that and when his Father is outright refusing to, my Son is seeing that as his Dad not wanting to fix things because that's what CAS told him is a great starting point.
Originally posted by StillPaying View Postwhile mum has no interest in a reward/punishment option (parenting) and waits for others to enforce.
Its not like this came out of nowhere. This has been ongoing since my Son was 6 and this past year, he has become more vocal about it. Especially after CAS educated my Son on what abuse was to prevent false claims.
Please educate me on what else I can do. Please. Even without the claims of emotional abuse and suicidal thoughts, what would you do if your child wouldn't leave the house and bribes and punishments did not work.
I'm actually interested to see if there was something I missed.
Originally posted by StillPaying View PostThis is the million dollar issue. Tough issue; but all signs point to school/dad being right.Last edited by Hide on Bush; 05-04-2022, 04:09 PM.
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Originally posted by blinkandimgone View PostLet's keep this focused on answering OP's questions rather than opinions of the situation please.
I know the OP was regarding my SC brief, but I am completely open to constructive conversation on how I can resolve this.Last edited by Hide on Bush; 05-04-2022, 04:58 PM.
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I do think you should offer phone calls and Facetime, I know your son is refusing until he gets a letter of apology, but your ex is probably fearful it will be used against him in court. And its jumping out at me your child is being manipulative, but maybe its just my own experience with my son thats making me feel that way.
I respectfully disagree with you on what "norm" is to having a child admitted to the hospital for having suicidal thoughts. How do you know for sure, they aren't happening at your home as well, and hes not telling you? Children with mental health issues combined with coming from a fractured family are complex.
If it was me, and I've been there, I wouldn't wait the 10 months, its too risky, I'd do the hospital route.
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Originally posted by kate331 View PostI respectfully disagree with you on what "norm" is to having a child admitted to the hospital for having suicidal thoughts. How do you know for sure, they aren't happening at your home as well, and hes not telling you? Children with mental health issues combined with coming from a fractured family are complex.
If it was me, and I've been there, I wouldn't wait the 10 months, its too risky, I'd do the hospital route.
As for the phone calls and FaceTime, I would agree with you. The problem is both my Ex and my Son get into heated arguments when they have talked over the phone which usually has both of them name calling each other and me having to step in telling both people to be respectful. This was long before this matter had started.
I mean my Son received a text today form his Dad asking m Son if he wanted to see him today. When my Son said no, his Dad stated:
"I don't understand why your not over this yet. Why are you being so stubborn. Your making a mistake and your going to regret it when your older."
Now imagine that through a phone call or FaceTime.
Originally posted by kate331 View PostAnd its jumping out at me your child is being manipulative, but maybe its just my own experience with my son thats making me feel that way.
Plus (prior to the emotional abuse claims) when my Son was expressing his desire to not go with his Dad and he'd rather resort to entire weekends of staring at a wall as a punishment, again that thought of manipulation slowly dissipated. My Son was not only gaining nothing by trying to manipulate me, he lost so much. This is when CAS got mad at me because, as it turns out, that should have been a giant red flag to me that something else was going on.Last edited by Hide on Bush; 05-04-2022, 05:03 PM.
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"I don't understand why your not over this yet. Why are you being so stubborn. Your making a mistake and your going to regret it when your older."
Now imagine that through a phone call or FaceTime."
I hope therapy helps your son, or at the very least comes up with creative ways to keep a connection going.
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