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Old 09-08-2011, 02:34 PM
Aveariel Aveariel is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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thank you for your reply.
I have no problem with the 50-50 custody. And yes rules should be in place, a routine needs to be set for the kids, I am not arguing or upset on that. Believe me I have tried to talk to him, I have tried to tell him we should both decide what is best for our children and discuss it like adults, find a solution together that meets into both of our schedules, he always tells me it does not matter what I say what matters is what he says and he decides no one else. He refuses to hold a decent conversation, it is always about what he has decided and I have to follow it, that I should stop being selfish, stop lying and think about the kids. Over the months I have readjusted my schedule numerous of times to meet to his to show him that this can be done, He always throws a problem out and yet I am always the one that finds a solution and try to fix and make readjustments while he just as usual expects me to do so. Even my lawyer tells me that he is very controlling and always expects things his way and these are things that are always done last minute. I am now to a point where I do not want to sit here and wonder if I can make plans with my children or will something come up? Yes, it is good for them to see their grandparents no argument there but is this ok when it is his week and they stay there for the whole week while he spends it with his girlfriend? He hardly spends time with them on the week that he has them. I have told my children that this is their father and they also need to spend time with him he has as much right to them as do I. Now my daughter keeps asking me mom it's his week yet he is always with his girlfriend and not with us why can we not just stay with you? I have even tried to set up a 4 way meeting so that maybe with the lawyers he can see that what he is doing is not right, I have tried to open his eyes. I am still waiting on a response from him for the meeting.... Also please keep in mind that none of my family lives in Canada it is only me (Yet I am able to hold a full time job, spend time with my children, and date on the week that I do not have the kids, while he has his whole family here and even uses them on his week to spend time with his girlfriend. Maybe I am old fashioned but i believe that if you want your children then you should also have time for them and spend it with them especially if you are separated from the other parent. A separation is hard enough on a child as it is and it is the parents that should make this as easy as possible for them, to let them know that nothing has changed on the parents feelings for them, that just the time is spend differently. Yet he hardly spends time with them when he has them..... As for fighting with him I refuse to fight with him when he starts with his" I said this is the way it is you are to do this " I usually tell him I refuse to argue with him, he is welcome to call me back and discuss things when he is more calm, to have a lovely evening and this conversation is over. Then I just hang up the phone.
Is there honestly nothing I can do?
He obviously does not want them cause he spends hardly any time with them and I think he is just doing this out of spite. Yet, this is affecting the children and I can see it why can he not see it?