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Old 01-22-2012, 11:08 PM
Chris2008 Chris2008 is offline
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Oops, sorry let me clarify. The police left without charging me as they did not think there was an assault that took place.

The following day she threatened to charge me and put in a restraining order. At that point, I just stayed away. The next day she then texted me to come and babysit my son and her daughter (who she also said I assaulted her). At which point I said no, and she said I will never see my son again and it will restricted access.

So legally, there is nothing in place that says I cannot have access to him. At the advice of my lawyer, I should not be anywhere near her. I have said, I will take him to my family's house and she has said nope he cannot leave...do I have a right to take him? Obviously I should document this too correct?

Essentially, I am letting her stay at my place till she finds something at the end of this month. She also has 2 daughters (12 and 13) who she brought over the Christmas holiday to visit for 2 weeks. Fast forward now, she decided to keep them here and tell me they are staying. *this is without the consent of the grandparents who have had them for the past 7 years*.

However, I am asking for shared parenting. I have been with him since day 1 and as my lawyer said, you are not asking for any change you want equal time just as you currently have.
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. That's what she tells me. "No judge would keep a mother and her breastfeeding away from her baby at night" even though she is away from home for about 8 hours and I take care of him full time. I've actually documented and videotaped him eating solids etc. and all that good stuff to prove she is basically using it as a way to prevent access. The crazy part about her is that if she doesn't get what she wants that is what she does, threatens to keep him away from me but then texts me that she wants me to come back to her. You call the cops on me and you expect me to want to be with you??? The only thing that pains me is my son having to witness all this hence I want this to be over and be able to move on to a healthy relationship with my son.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
I cannot tell from your posts whether you have access to your son or not. If not, or if access is very restricted, make it very clear, using some traceable medium (e.g. email) that you are concerned that your child is missing contact with his father, and that you do not consent to such limited parenting time. Email to her a few options for how to split your time, something that you feel is realistic given your work schedules and living arrangements. FYI after 12 mo, she can no longer rely on the breastfeeding argument (tho probably whe will try), so start suggesting overnights right away. Whatever you do, don't start believing the bull that she is somehow the primary parent who NATURALLY should have the lion's share of time with your child.

You can be 90% certain that she will try to keep you away for as long as possible so that it builds up a pattern (called status quo) of you not being involved. Also, even without any CS, she has a pretty good deal going, so she doesn't have much incentive to move out of your house.

I pray that your ex is just someone who needs a bit of educating in the new reality of your parenting roles ...it is going to be a big adjustment for her to be apart from her baby for 2-3 days at a time (as YOU certainly appreciate by now - you must be going crazy with it).