I have a bit of a rant here.. I am currently separated almost 4 years, I have 3 children living with me. My ex does pay spousal and child support.My kids are older 19,17 and 15. He does pay for my sons university education, I did offer to pay some of it but he wanted to claim it on his taxes so he declined my offer. We were married or almost 18 years, in those 18 years he physically abused me and my children, threatened that if I ever left I would have nothing... the mental and verbal abuse were the worst(just a little insight). I had a separation agreement drawn up to which he changed everything n t and told me to sign or go to court and I would be broke (he makes a lot of money). Still living under fear I suppose and not wanting the fight or having the energy for it.
The agreement states ( the part he changed) that He would pay spousal for 8 years and child support until the kids were done school, I had originally asked for child support to be paid until the children were financially stable. Here is my rant, what gives him the right to cut his kids off once they are done school ??? these kids need to get into the workforce and start up their lives! so am I to kick out my kids because I cant afford to have them live with me?? if we were together he would still support his kids so what makes it different?? he would still pay the bills , pay for school and they would live at home until they could stand on their own!
It upsets me to no need when I read in these forums some peoples responses how they are getting "milked" for money, I don't understand if the marriage had not broken down would you still feel that way??? My children are left with many scars of abuse, I cannot afford a psychologist, the women's abuse clinic would help free of charge under the age of 16. I asked him to pay for it his reply.... he did nothing wrong! I am on medication for anxiety, panic disorder and depression that spells no job! No one wants to hire me when I fill out an application and include medical conditions ... no call back. He caused the break up of this family, I should have left years ago I should have left the first time he layed a hand on my children but I didn't because he had total control.
I still at times question if I have the strength to fight a court battle, I still look at my children and cry for all that they went through and are still trying to cope with. I am angered to no end nor will I ever have any peace that after all this, he just gets to walk away!!
The agreement states ( the part he changed) that He would pay spousal for 8 years and child support until the kids were done school, I had originally asked for child support to be paid until the children were financially stable. Here is my rant, what gives him the right to cut his kids off once they are done school ??? these kids need to get into the workforce and start up their lives! so am I to kick out my kids because I cant afford to have them live with me?? if we were together he would still support his kids so what makes it different?? he would still pay the bills , pay for school and they would live at home until they could stand on their own!
It upsets me to no need when I read in these forums some peoples responses how they are getting "milked" for money, I don't understand if the marriage had not broken down would you still feel that way??? My children are left with many scars of abuse, I cannot afford a psychologist, the women's abuse clinic would help free of charge under the age of 16. I asked him to pay for it his reply.... he did nothing wrong! I am on medication for anxiety, panic disorder and depression that spells no job! No one wants to hire me when I fill out an application and include medical conditions ... no call back. He caused the break up of this family, I should have left years ago I should have left the first time he layed a hand on my children but I didn't because he had total control.
I still at times question if I have the strength to fight a court battle, I still look at my children and cry for all that they went through and are still trying to cope with. I am angered to no end nor will I ever have any peace that after all this, he just gets to walk away!!
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