won again

[arabian]

This is the 7th time (I think) that ex has taken me to court to have SS stopped. I self-represented as it was a written hearing. Ex's latest 'material change of circumstance' was that his girlfriend had a hysterectomy, small stroke and he needed to stay home with her. Sheesh$

[rockscan]

Congrats! Not that it will stop him. Expect more paperwork in the future!

[arabian]

yeah he can probably do another one in 6 months. In my submission/affidavit I mentioned that this is, at the very least, a 1 - 2 x yearly thing for him. I'm glad it has now been reduced to written as opposed to attendance at court. We no longer have a case management judge assigned (not that that made much difference).

[trinton]

I want to throw a big party every time I remember that I pay no spousal support.

[stripes]

Congrats! (And if I were ex's girlfriend, I would be pretty embarrassed that way too much information about me is being spread around the court system ...).

[standing on the sidelines]

good for you. Too bad they cant put a limit on how many times he can do this to you.

[arabian]

Have to say that I used my former lawyer's advice (bless him) and only stated things in affidavit supported by evidence. My submission was 95% exhibits. Didn't have to lead the judge anywhere.

Yeah ex is probably in a bit of a pickle, that is, if he wants to keep his DL. He has a few days to decide.

Victory today but I do reflect on the mega bucks I lost 7 years ago which I will never recover.

Still a win is a win and this time I did it on my own - imagine that!

[LovingFather32]

Just made my day Arabian!!! Grats!!

[arabian]

Thanks to many of your who have been so supportive of me through the years. While I know SS is a heavy burden and objected to by many I appreciate those active readers who are able to differentiate my situation from those who are clearly not entitled to SS.

For those who don't know about my situation, I was married for 30 years and financially ripped off by ex (business) by way of his hiding money under his g/f & family members (in a nutshell).

I would have much preferred to have been able to pursue my ex for financial misdeeds through the criminal court, however, this was not possible as we were going through divorce at the time. The fact that we were in the middle of a divorce actually protected my ex from charges of fraud over 5,000. It's a crazy system. Having to deal with family court (for fraud from my former business partner (ex-husband) has meant dragging out my receipt of restitution for decades.... I doubt he will ever live long enough to pay me what he owes me. I therefore emphasize that SS has been a vehicle for me to try to recoup some of my losses... nothing more. BTW I had the benefit of experienced family, corporate and criminal lawyers throughout this whole thing.

Will my ex take away the "pen" and rein in his g/f in the future to stop this nonsense? Not likely. When someone has focused their reason to exist on making someone else's life miserable it is hard to direct them to another focus in life. It is for this reason only that I hope my ex sees the daylight and finds himself another mate and lives out the rest of his life in peace. Surely we both deserve this?

[trinton]

Thanks to many of your who have been so supportive of me through the years. While I know SS is a heavy burden and objected to by many I appreciate those active readers who are able to differentiate my situation from those who are clearly not entitled to SS.

For those who don't know about my situation, I was married for 30 years and financially ripped off by ex (business) by way of his hiding money under his g/f & family members (in a nutshell).

I would have much preferred to have been able to pursue my ex for financial misdeeds through the criminal court, however, this was not possible as we were going through divorce at the time. The fact that we were in the middle of a divorce actually protected my ex from charges of fraud over 5,000. It's a crazy system. Having to deal with family court (for fraud from my former business partner (ex-husband) has meant dragging out my receipt of restitution for decades.... I doubt he will ever live long enough to pay me what he owes me. I therefore emphasize that SS has been a vehicle for me to try to recoup some of my losses... nothing more. BTW I had the benefit of experienced family, corporate and criminal lawyers throughout this whole thing.

Will my ex take away the "pen" and rein in his g/f in the future to stop this nonsense? Not likely. When someone has focused their reason to exist on making someone else's life miserable it is hard to direct them to another focus in life. It is for this reason only that I hope my ex sees the daylight and finds himself another mate and lives out the rest of his life in peace. Surely we both deserve this?

Likely not relevant but did he have his gf while he was married to you?


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[arabian]

Yes - our divorce was granted due to adultery (which expedited things). I believe the "affair" started sometime in the last year of our marriage. G/F is still married to our former long-term employee. I believe my ex and his g/f maintain a friendship with her ex/husband. Bizarre.

[trinton]

Yes - our divorce was granted due to adultery (which expedited things). I believe the "affair" started sometime in the last year of our marriage. G/F is still married to our former long-term employee. I believe my ex and his g/f maintain a friendship with her ex/husband. Bizarre.

That's just awful. He ended things so I support your position of spousal support.


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[rockscan]

I dont see your case as SS. I see it as monthly payments of equalization for the business you built together. Or even punishment for fraud.

[arabian]

Yes lots of lessons learned. I painstakingly incorporated our business many years ago as protection as I had invested money and my mother raised me to always be cautious. I paid accountants/lawyers to do things correctly (and paid premium every year for tax filings) only to find out that it mattered not as family law trumped corporate. It turned out to be frustratingly simple - incorporating oneself when married to spouse is a huge waste of time and money. My advice to anyone is simple - do not go into business with your wife/husband/spouse... do not invest in your partner's business... I would have been in a better position had I given my money to a friend and had them go into business with my husband. At least the friend would have legal recourse.

[lancelot]

Congrats Arabian. I understand where you're coming from here. You've often provided me support when I have come here too. We both have the same type of ex-husbands and the need for ss. Just too bad it isn't the last time being in court.