I wasn't sure if I should put this here or in the financial forum.
Since March 2011, I have been seeking a lawyer. There is abuse involved in my case and I have no income at present (stay at home mom with a 7 and 9 year old, studying at a local college for retraining).
I was sent to a lawyer with the initial cost covered - for a one hour consult (it could have been 2). Unfortunately, as I have $50K in an RRSP I do not qualify for legal aid. Now via loans I have access to more money temporarily.
The first lawyer I met with, before being rejected by legal aid, didn't impress me much. I wasn't keen on paying her $200 per hour. I tried getting a lawyer for $100 per hour under a special program but was advised by a counsellor to stick with lawyers who had special training on abuse cases.
So I cancelled that appointment which I had waited for for several weeks.
Then I found a lawyer for $90 per hour who asked me to fill our form 13.1 (which was tricky to do without my husband's knowledge - he is underemployed - i.e. home all the time almost). After approx. two weeks I did it - very proud of myself for all that sleuthing, calculating, etc.
Unfortunately over two months since I have yet to speak with her again directly. At least I didn't meet her and pay any fees.
So last week I went to another lawyer (with my kids now in tow as school is out and I am very isolated with only one friend in the city and no family). For about $300 she spent 90 minutes telling me what I already know or things that are not relavant to my case.
Here is where I am "at" now....
I have found a cheap place to live in August and desperately wish to move. I have signed a lease. (Incidentally, my husband is screaming at me to get out, get out on a regular basis.) But I want some legal protection - the kids are with me - I don't want him to suddenly decide that they are pawns in a power play.
What do you suggest? Should I try to file the correct forms myself for $500 or pay someone thousands of dollars to fight this for me? (I was told $1,000 just to get the law firm to do the filing for me.)
Am I missing something? Should I just leave? Or am I risking a lot - for example a judge's misplaced ire - down the road. (Apparently my husband could legally seize the kids the next chance he gets.)
Should I pay every dime I can for an expensive lawyer? I am VERY confused.
I am 49 and don't expect to ever earn much money b/w now and old age. So I'd like to hold on to whatever modest assets I have - if possible.
I would have had half of our house (value $450K easy, no mortgage) but in the meantime my husband has seized about $190K on a loc against the house. It was set up several years ago but more or less left alone.
One other thing, my husband is a fighter. In May he escaped a DUI charge. I know that he had been drinking at the time. I made him show me the liquor bottle after the police left our home on the day he was charged. He was temporarily contrite! I suppose he paid THAT lawyer at least $8 or $10K. He will do whatever he can to "win" - pretty much - even lose a lot of money - as long as I am brought down too.
PS I went to a Family Law in a Box seminar. It was helpful info. However, when I shared my situation in that arena I was advised to get a lawyer asap. I guess they think everyone has tens of thousands to pay out for good legal representation. I don't know how to proceed.
Can I get my rights protected without paying big bucks in the process? Maybe not if my spouse is one of those combative, irrational types? (Yes, there has been some physical blows along with years of verbal abuse.)
Since March 2011, I have been seeking a lawyer. There is abuse involved in my case and I have no income at present (stay at home mom with a 7 and 9 year old, studying at a local college for retraining).
I was sent to a lawyer with the initial cost covered - for a one hour consult (it could have been 2). Unfortunately, as I have $50K in an RRSP I do not qualify for legal aid. Now via loans I have access to more money temporarily.
The first lawyer I met with, before being rejected by legal aid, didn't impress me much. I wasn't keen on paying her $200 per hour. I tried getting a lawyer for $100 per hour under a special program but was advised by a counsellor to stick with lawyers who had special training on abuse cases.
So I cancelled that appointment which I had waited for for several weeks.
Then I found a lawyer for $90 per hour who asked me to fill our form 13.1 (which was tricky to do without my husband's knowledge - he is underemployed - i.e. home all the time almost). After approx. two weeks I did it - very proud of myself for all that sleuthing, calculating, etc.
Unfortunately over two months since I have yet to speak with her again directly. At least I didn't meet her and pay any fees.
So last week I went to another lawyer (with my kids now in tow as school is out and I am very isolated with only one friend in the city and no family). For about $300 she spent 90 minutes telling me what I already know or things that are not relavant to my case.
Here is where I am "at" now....
I have found a cheap place to live in August and desperately wish to move. I have signed a lease. (Incidentally, my husband is screaming at me to get out, get out on a regular basis.) But I want some legal protection - the kids are with me - I don't want him to suddenly decide that they are pawns in a power play.
What do you suggest? Should I try to file the correct forms myself for $500 or pay someone thousands of dollars to fight this for me? (I was told $1,000 just to get the law firm to do the filing for me.)
Am I missing something? Should I just leave? Or am I risking a lot - for example a judge's misplaced ire - down the road. (Apparently my husband could legally seize the kids the next chance he gets.)
Should I pay every dime I can for an expensive lawyer? I am VERY confused.
I am 49 and don't expect to ever earn much money b/w now and old age. So I'd like to hold on to whatever modest assets I have - if possible.
I would have had half of our house (value $450K easy, no mortgage) but in the meantime my husband has seized about $190K on a loc against the house. It was set up several years ago but more or less left alone.
One other thing, my husband is a fighter. In May he escaped a DUI charge. I know that he had been drinking at the time. I made him show me the liquor bottle after the police left our home on the day he was charged. He was temporarily contrite! I suppose he paid THAT lawyer at least $8 or $10K. He will do whatever he can to "win" - pretty much - even lose a lot of money - as long as I am brought down too.
PS I went to a Family Law in a Box seminar. It was helpful info. However, when I shared my situation in that arena I was advised to get a lawyer asap. I guess they think everyone has tens of thousands to pay out for good legal representation. I don't know how to proceed.
Can I get my rights protected without paying big bucks in the process? Maybe not if my spouse is one of those combative, irrational types? (Yes, there has been some physical blows along with years of verbal abuse.)
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