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Ex wants to move with child. We have 50/50 access.

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  • #16
    Originally posted by goblue View Post
    What are signs of a good lawyer? I haven't been happy with lack of communication or sense of urgency, or strategy (I've suggested everything), so far. But I lack experience in this and don't what's commonplace. I was considering making a switch after the first application, but I'm unsure.

    This is normal as many people going through custody and divorce issues live and breathe their case daily. Your lawyer has many cases of various levels of urgency and court time. Throw in the delays due to COVID and it is a recipe for panic.

    Take a deep breath. Has a motion been filed yet? Has your lawyer filed any paperwork or even a response? Then all you can do is wait. My husband went through the same terror over how slow things go and how he didnt hear from his lawyer. You dont pay your lawyer to hold your hand. Take a beat and remember the court system works slowly. As long as things are headed to a date there is not much you can do.


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    • #17
      Thanks for the responses, everyone.

      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
      Take a deep breath. Has a motion been filed yet? Has your lawyer filed any paperwork or even a response? Then all you can do is wait.
      No, nothing's been filed yet. I filled out the forms I was asked to do on Wednesday. On Friday, I asked my lawyer that while I wait for the application to be filed if I should at least be on record via email as opposing the change in my daughter's residency. I was told yes, so I sent an email.

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      • #18
        So October 5th was my last post, which feels like two months ago to me based on how slow things seem to move for me. Oct 7th I signed the application, but she wasn't served until October 16th. In that time her house sold. Under the presumption that she's planning on leaving for North Bay (since i have not been told otherwise), my lawyer sent off a letter asking if she will bring an interim mobility motion or just plans to leave with the child, at which point i would file the urgent motion of non removal.

        We did get a response stating that in the interim she will move to sudbury (an hour away) and that my access wouldn't be affected. This would be in place until she gets consent or court order to move to North Bay. So this isn't ideal, but good news I suppose.

        I'm new to this, but still laughed at this paragraph in the email:
        "There is no reason that your client needs to bring an urgent motion at this time as we have advised our client that she will need his permission or a court order to finalize her move to North Bay. On a balance of probabilities, it would appear that when she secures employment in North Bay, and given the fact that she will have support of her partner’s family in North Bay as well as her family in Sudbury, it is likely that our proposal would be accepted by the court."

        Based on this, I guess I should just hook up with someone and say I have them for support, lol.

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        • #19
          Your lawyer was ok with her moving the child to Sudbury? The winter drive to Massey is not very nice. It also means that if you have plans during your parenting time to visit your family in the Soo then the child will be in the car from Sudbury to the Soo, instead of just the one shorter trip from massey to the Soo.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by tilt View Post
            Your lawyer was ok with her moving the child to Sudbury? The winter drive to Massey is not very nice. It also means that if you have plans during your parenting time to visit your family in the Soo then the child will be in the car from Sudbury to the Soo, instead of just the one shorter trip from massey to the Soo.
            I received the response yesterday and yet to discuss with lawyer. It's definitely not ideal. My daughter goes to daycare in Massey so she would just leave with me after daycare for when we visit my family.

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            • #21
              On a balance of probabilities. Her lawyer can go fuck themself. Judges dont consider a new partner or their family a substitute for a father but good luck to them.


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              • #22
                I would still be concerned, she is inching your daughter away from you and using this time to set up Sudbury as a new status quo. If she gets a job in Sudbury she will may try to move the daycare to Sudbury. From Sudbury, after she has been there a while, it will be much easier for her to move to North Bay. An hour move away is too far, especially in the north, heading into winter. And, if you do not object to the move to Sudbury it is considered “on consent”.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                  On a balance of probabilities. Her lawyer can go fuck themself. Judges don�t consider a new partner or their family a substitute for a father but good luck to them.


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                  LOL... love it.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by tilt View Post
                    I would still be concerned, she is inching your daughter away from you and using this time to set up Sudbury as a new status quo. If she gets a job in Sudbury she will may try to move the daycare to Sudbury. From Sudbury, after she has been there a while, it will be much easier for her to move to North Bay. An hour move away is too far, especially in the north, heading into winter. And, if you do not object to the move to Sudbury it is considered “on consent”.
                    Yep, before I even knew about North Bay I was concerned with this inching away strategy. Good call, I should at least respond saying I do not consent. Having said that I'm guessing I don't do an urgent motion and just wait for my court date in late November? I don't feel confident with that one as my access isn't affected in the interim. But again, I don't really know. Will discuss options with lawyer.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by goblue View Post
                      I don't feel confident with that one as my access isn't affected in the interim. Will discuss options with lawyer.
                      Definitely discuss with your lawyer. One snow storm and suddenly its we cant make it for your time. You live in an area that gets snow early and in full. She can use that to her advantage and that isnt fair. Make sure at your first court date you can get a temporary order to have the child stay where you are. And yes, respond that you still dont agree.


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                      • #26
                        As to an urgent motion, I would be inclined to suggest that waiting until after the move for the late November court date is an implied consent (and really, no guarantee the late nov court date won’t be adjourned for one reason or another). I would have your lawyer draft a letter that you agree that *she* can move to Sudbury, but the child stays in Massey (where, after all, her daycare is). Offer the mother liberal parenting time, but the child lives with you in Massey. You may want to specify that you will waive her requirement to pay child support until final detiremination of residence is made.

                        I am suggesting this on some assumptions: the two of you having true shared custody, that you currently have the child for seven overnights in a two week period, that the child has her own bedroom in your home, and you are fully involved in her life (taking her to extracurricular activities, play dates with friends, visiting family). I’m a little unclear about the mother’s current employment - she is currently working in Massey and dropping the child off at daycare, then returning to sleep in Sudbury? But if she gets a job in either Sudbury or North Bay there would be no reason for *her* to keep driving the child to Massey for childcare (if she worked in Sudbury it would add a four hour commute for her each day and be a very long time for the 3 year old to be in a car daily). So the logical thing would be to keep the child in Massey as per the current status quo.

                        I am not as optimistic as other posters that she will be denied mobility, you mentioned a fianc�e and them selling/buying homes together, which indicates a pretty stable relationship that can financially support your child. If you aren’t in your own home, I would investigate buying one if possible, based on where you want your daughter to go to school in Massey, keeping visiting the Soo on weekends to strengthen family ties, and bump up your documented/public participation in her life.
                        Last edited by tilt; 10-25-2020, 04:38 PM.

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                        • #27
                          Hi Tilt,

                          Your assumptions are correct. 7 nights in a 2 week span my daughter stays with me. I own my own house and she has her own room. Financial stability is not an issue. Currently the ex still has her house in massey. It's sold so I'm assuming it closes in next few weeks. She intends to commute once she fully moves.

                          Every second weekend I take her to visit her family in the Soo. We are actually returning to Massey from a weekend visit shortly.

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                          • #28
                            Then you are well positioned. It sounds like she was hoping to bluff you into just conceding your parenting time. Good luck. Remember this is a marathon, not a race, and the courts move slow.

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                            • #29
                              I will say I'm annoyed that her partner and his family is possibly a factor. I mean I can hook up with someone too if that helps, lol.

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                              • #30
                                So she says the move to Sudbury is either permanent or temporary until the move to North Bay.
                                I hate this stuff where they say they are going to do something but no one cares until they actually do it. happened to me....threatened access but lawyer shrugged their shoulders "did they do it?"

                                At the very least You still have to send a letter and object to the move to Sudbury. It is at the very least considered permanent. Maybe that was the plan all along.

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