Originally posted by Janus
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How to come up with a final Parenting Plan?
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Originally posted by tunnelight View Postif he really wanted to physically harm you, don't you think he could do that out in the mediation/ parenting coordination parking lot?
Did the OCL request any psychological assessment for the father?
https://www.riverdalemediation.com/a...ion-processes/
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Originally posted by iona6656 View PostNot that I can remember. I asked for a closed CAMH mental health and addiction assessment from the start. I was going to push for this AGAIN...but what's the point? He's going to lie. He's going to tell 1/2 truths.
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Originally posted by Tayken View PostI don't think this matter is being mediated. (Correct me if I am wrong.) If it was being mediated it wouldn't pass the mandatory assessment phase for power imbalances etc.
https://www.riverdalemediation.com/a...ion-processes/
It's not being mediated, and I won't go there anymore.
We tried family mediation from the outset- the mediator rejected our file because domestic violence screening.
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Originally posted by Tayken View PostYou need a very serious situation to get one ordered. Take a look at the Izyuk matter. It took multiple trials to get to the point of it being ordered! Judges don't hand out these orders very often. It requires mountains (5+ legal boxes full) of evidence.
At this point- i just have to set up the situation that will minimize the risk of violence to both my daughter and myself.
that being said- What i've picked up from the OCL assessment- and this was backed up by my lawyer...this is more serious than I want to believe.
Thanks for all the feedback and replies. I'm in the middle of crafting something that I will send to my ex once we receive the final OCL report and recommendations. If he doesn't accept my offer- or counter with something reasonable- then I've told my lawyer to pull the trigger to move this to trial.
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Originally posted by Tayken View PostI don't think this matter is being mediated. (Correct me if I am wrong.) If it was being mediated it wouldn't pass the mandatory assessment phase for power imbalances etc.
https://www.riverdalemediation.com/a...ion-processes/
Okay so too dangerous for mediation but just safe enough for a 1.5 hour joint family counselling session ?
Originally posted by iona6656 View PostWe had our first session with a jointly selected family therapist yesterday. It was 1.5hrs.
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There are specially trained counsellors that work specifically with abused/abusive couples in joint counselling (I have one but I use him alone as the ex won’t participate). It has been recognized in the counselling community that by having counsellors withdrawing from joint counselling with abusive dynamics it leaves the victims vulnerable when they are legally forced to have a relationship/communication. So, some brave, well-trained counsellors take it on.
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Originally posted by tilt View PostThere are specially trained counsellors that work specifically with abused/abusive couples in joint counselling (I have one but I use him alone as the ex won’t participate). It has been recognized in the counselling community that by having counsellors withdrawing from joint counselling with abusive dynamics it leaves the victims vulnerable when they are legally forced to have a relationship/communication. So, some brave, well-trained counsellors take it on.
I am really lucky that my lawyer suggested two really good skilled counsellors to help in my situation. Unfortunately my first choice was booked up...but the one we’re with now is good. She’s already had to diffuse some situations.
I’m not actually convinced coparent counselling is good idea in really high conflict cases where there is a historical power imbalance.
But practically speaking- and I realize how messed up this is- I feel like it allows my ex to funnel his rage towards me in these sessions, and I’m “protected” in a sense—- and that keeps it away from him potentially lashing out at our daughter. He gets to spew his vitriol and manipulative garbage at me and maybe that actually allows him to feel some of the control he’s lost.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Originally posted by iona6656 View PostI’m not actually convinced coparent counselling is good idea in really high conflict cases where there is a historical power imbalance.
It is hard to overcome "idiot". It takes a lot of hard work. Sorry to say. You may be doing the majority of work when it comes to your children. You are consistent in how you describe the other parent.
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Originally posted by iona6656 View PostThey were reduced at the time he started pars, and removed after.Last edited by tunnelight; 03-04-2019, 10:47 PM.
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Originally posted by tilt View PostThere are specially trained counsellors that work specifically with abused/abusive couples in joint counselling (I have one but I use him alone as the ex won’t participate). It has been recognized in the counselling community that by having counsellors withdrawing from joint counselling with abusive dynamics it leaves the victims vulnerable when they are legally forced to have a relationship/communication. So, some brave, well-trained counsellors take it on.
The question is, the therapist they chose, was it a "specifically" trained for domestic violence therapist?Last edited by tunnelight; 03-04-2019, 11:13 PM.
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