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Old 04-03-2012, 11:51 AM
MAC-JMJ MAC-JMJ is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 52
MAC-JMJ is on a distinguished road

Thanks Rioe,

In trying to give an brief update on my situation I may have opened myself to receiving more questions. Let me see if I can be more precise.

My ex filed for seperation through the courts, last year, and both of us have a lawyer. We both met, lawyers present, to resolve outside of the court room. FYI, it cost me $4000 alone just to respond to the documents I was served with. Currently, our case conference has been adjourned because I was negotiating outside of our lawyers to come to a mutual agreement. My lawyer drew up a seperation agreement, from when all four of us met, and all that was needed was her to sign. I used a copy of this same agreement, e-mail my ex the changes we agreed to and then flipped it back to my lawyer to make the changes and for my ex to sign. After she met with her lawyer again, she wanted to make further changes. Benefits for an additional 3 years.

As you can imagine, I spent another $1k to get this done, only to be denied finalization again. In the court filed documentation (my served documents) the debts I listed above we both agreed were 50/50 responibility as the debts incurred while we were both together. Both her lawyer and mine agreed and recognized this fact.

I am only paying child support for my 3 kids. Her first child was not included in her initial claim to the courts nor hasn't been discussed the entire time. To the table that we were together she would receive up to 3 years spousal but no amount was used because she was working at the time but now is not. The table my lawyer gave was a range between ($180-$400) per month. So I offered a proposal to take on more debt equal to $310/per month + we agreed to add a very modest numeric value to all the house hold items (my 50%) that she kept. This overall number represents what my lawyer stated most likely chance she would receive but $$ would go to debt anyway as we agreed too. She does not qualify to take on her half of the debt right now, so this works best.

So we have trust $$ sitting to payout debt that we both need to agree before it will be released. Since the home was joint and we were common law, she is not entitled to my 50% but I cannot access until we agree. Now we are getting closer to 1 year from the date I was served which is why I am asking if there are any problems paying out the one debt that we both agreed we are responsible for? If I pay it from my own funds, does that remove her from responsibility? Or is it more what the four of us agree too. I certainly do not want her to learn of this ahead of time as I am sure she will just want more and more which is the theme of my last 2.5 years.