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  • Questions relate to a simple case (advice plz)

    My spouse went to another city in Ontario for work right after we got married in September 2012. We were separated in January 2013 with no kid and no complicated financial situation.

    • I brought a home with 80k down payment into marriage, solely under my name
    • Spouse never paid any mortgage, utilities, and property tax
    • Spouse only lived in the home I own for 15 days during 3 months of marriage
    • We kept our account separated all the time
    • We both have full time job except that I make 50k annual income more than her


    My lawyer suggested that given such short period of marriage, the judge could make a decision to order me to pay her anywhere between 0% to 5% of net family property. Additionally, it is unlikely that my spouse will get any spousal support. (Can any experienced member comment on his suggested payout?)

    I tried to resolve the property division issue with my spouse just between two of us. Unfortunately, she is not co-operative. My sense is she believes that she is entitled a large proportion of NFP and large amount of spousal support.

    I filed simple divorce application and had her properly served. 30 Days waiting period is almost up and I do not expect she will file an answer. However, I received a letter from her lawyer today saying, "before the divorce can proceed, we will need to deal with the equalization of net family property" and asking me to contact his office to give him a proposal.

    I have the following few questions hope you can help me out. I thank you very much for your answer and suggestion.

    Question 1
    My understanding is once 30 days passed and there is no answer filed, the divorce become uncontested and the judge can order for divorce without having her involved. I am perfectly fine to deal with property division issue at anytime and for as long as it would take. My objective is not to delay the divorce process. So is there any way she can delay the divorce order without filing answer within 30 days?

    Question 2
    Would there be any legal consequence if I do not reply to her lawyer with regard to property division proposal?

    Question 3
    It has been almost 5 months since we separated. I have been living in my one-bedroom home and she has been renting in the city where she resides. As said before, she never paid any bills relate to this home. I moved all her stuff to the locker and gave her access. If later on she wants to move into the one-bedroom home, can I refuse her and keep her out? At minimum, can I keep her out until judge makes a decision who has the exclusive right to access this home?

  • #2
    First, this: Ontario Bar Association

    The special treatment of the matrimonial home may result in a large equalization payment even in a short relationship, although the financial gain accruing during the relationship is likely to be relatively small. In Harris v. Stuart Harris (2005), 2005 CarswellOnt 3684 (Ont. S.C.J.), the couple cohabited for a total of 13 weeks. The equalization payment due to the wife was over $400,000, because the husband brought a newly-constructed home into the relationship. Justice R. F. Scott found that it would be unconscionable for the wife to receive any equalization sum, but awarded her $10,000 on the basis that the husband had been unjustly enriched by her efforts relating to the home's construction.
    Now to your questions....

    Yes, if she doesn't answer then the divorce is uncontested. However, being divorced only buys you the right to remarry, nothing else. The fact that you have a divorce does not stop her from filing for equalization at a later date. She has six years to file for equalization. You should be safe in 2019.

    The idea of spousal support is absurd. I suppose if she gave up a secure job with great benefits and salary, to move across the country to marry you, she could claim some kind of entitlement. But anything less than that and there is no possibility of entitlement.

    Make sure you are clear about the separation date though. Was it clear that when she moved for a job that you separated? The relationship was over? Or did she let you know this months later?

    You are under no obligation to reply to her lawyer. If they send you an offer to settle you should take notice. Otherwise just ignore anything they send.

    The title of the house is yours, and you own it, that cannot be taken away. Unfortunately she may be able to move back in, although this is highly unlikely. She has by now had a new residence. This new apartment is legally her primary residence. If this were me I would change the locks and instal an alarm system. If she makes any attempt to enter you should act immediately. Be carefull, she would not be trespassing, but you would have cause to seek an order for exclusive possession.

    Pay close attention: If she enters the premises, you feel threatened. Don't forget that. This will give you cause for a restraining order. Don't argue, don't hesitate, don't be strong and tough, just call the police and state that a crazy ex-girlfriend just broke into your house and is threatening you. Don't say anything about being married, just get her out and file for a restraining order immediately. Don't be brave and calm and explain that this is your separated wife and you would like the police to tell her to leave. Think about what I'm saying here.

    Comment


    • #3
      Mess, is the house encumbered in any way if equalization is not done? e.g. possibly he would not be free to sell it (or refinance) before the 6 years are up?

      Comment


      • #4
        Did I miss something here? Has the poster been threatened?

        It is quite reckless, and in my opinion immoral, to accuse someone of domestic abuse when none exists.

        Before you do anything it would be best you consult with your lawyer.

        Comment


        • #5
          Hmmmmm. I'd like to see how Mess' advice would go over if a woman gave that advice/direction to another woman! Wowzers

          Comment


          • #6
            Mess, did you mean to post your comments on that other thread "uncharted waters?"

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by RainB View Post

              Question 3
              It has been almost 5 months since we separated.
              Is it possible to get a divorce after a 5 month separation? My understanding is that it needs to be one year.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Mess View Post

                Now to your questions....

                Yes, if she doesn't answer then the divorce is uncontested. However, being divorced only buys you the right to remarry, nothing else. The fact that you have a divorce does not stop her from filing for equalization at a later date. She has six years to file for equalization. You should be safe in 2019.


                Make sure you are clear about the separation date though. Was it clear that when she moved for a job that you separated? The relationship was over? Or did she let you know this months later?
                Mess, thank you very much for your reply. My objective is to get divorced asap in order to re-marry. In terms of property division, there isn't much NFP sit for divide anyway. As far as I know, the unequal division can be requested if marriage is less than 5 years, not to mention my history is only 3 months. I am all up for the pro-longed court battle unless a reasonable division proposal is reached.

                In fact, we were married at the time when she has already been working in another city (physically separated since the beginning of the marriage, eh) Although we didn't have formal agreement on the exact separation date, there is email from her stating her desire of getting divorced on the separation date I put in the divorce application form. By the way, given that no answer is filed within 30 days, doesn't that imply she agrees the separation date?

                Thanks.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Lava View Post
                  Is it possible to get a divorce after a 5 month separation? My understanding is that it needs to be one year.
                  Yes, I will wait till one year is up.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Mess View Post


                    Pay close attention: If she enters the premises, you feel threatened. Don't forget that. This will give you cause for a restraining order. Don't argue, don't hesitate, don't be strong and tough, just call the police and state that a crazy ex-girlfriend just broke into your house and is threatening you. Don't say anything about being married, just get her out and file for a restraining order immediately. Don't be brave and calm and explain that this is your separated wife and you would like the police to tell her to leave. Think about what I'm saying here.
                    Wow. This is shocking advice.

                    To the original poster I suggest you do not engage in this tactic as;

                    1) it's fabricated and dishonest
                    2) it will set the tone for the rest of your divorce process.
                    3) will cost you more in legal fees and emotional stress then it's worth.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post
                      Did I miss something here? Has the poster been threatened?

                      It is quite reckless, and in my opinion immoral, to accuse someone of domestic abuse when none exists.

                      Before you do anything it would be best you consult with your lawyer.
                      If your ex moved out and then you came home and he had broken into your house, what would you do?

                      It doesn't have to be "domestic abuse" Arabian, to feel threatened. Not having the security of your own home is plenty reason to feel threatened.

                      The mistake people make in a situation like this is minimizing it with the cops, who then will not follow up.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                        Mess, did you mean to post your comments on that other thread "uncharted waters?"
                        Tell me that when you've come out of the shower and your ex has broken in the door and moved himself back into the bedroom.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                          Hmmmmm. I'd like to see how Mess' advice would go over if a woman gave that advice/direction to another woman! Wowzers
                          If enough women start getting the pointy end of the false accusation stick, maybe the rules will change.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            He is being advised to speak the truth about how he feels. There is no false accusation being suggested.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Mess View Post
                              Tell me that when you've come out of the shower and your ex has broken in the door and moved himself back into the bedroom.
                              How am I supposed to keep separated status if she has the right to move in a one-bedroom home? Sharing the same bed while separated?

                              Comment

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