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  • Help. Pregnant.

    Hallo everyone...
    I am 26 years old and i am in Canada as an international student under temporal study permit.
    I have been living with Canadian since New Year, means almost three month for a moment. To move in together was his idea. After that he told me that wants to have a baby and did not allowed me to use a contraceptives. I agreed because believed that he is serious about me. I got pregnant and found out that this Monday. After I told him about baby he changed his mine, he is not happy about that anymore, got into the stress and started to take drugs (started two days ago). Yesterday he did not let me in to the apartment and i were have to call the police to get in and take my close from there. After that he through me out (he was under the drags). I have police protocol about all what happen. Police later told me that we have been common in law already and i have the right to apply for child and spousal support. If i will leave a baby i will apply for everything - otherwise i can not afford a baby. But his father refused make an agreement with me and give me any help. he is telling that i can apply for anything i want - i will not get not a baks from him, if will be needed, he is ready eve quit working.
    Any ideas what should i do now???
    Thanks for any advice.

  • #2
    Anyone who fathers a child is obligated to support it - even if just a one-night stand. So it does not matter how long you were with him, or whether you were married.

    Forget about spousal support - that would be applicable only if you have a longer term relationship.

    Assuming you want to keep the baby...

    If he quits working i.e is intentionally unemployeed (or even if he intentionally takes a low paying job), he can be forced to pay child support based an 'imputed' income i.e. the income he would reasonably be expected to earn based on his skills/experience.

    You might qualify for free legal aid to help you - others can give you more info on this. What I wrote above is the law, but still he can make this VERY difficult for a LONG time i.e. enforcing it is not easy.
    Last edited by dinkyface; 03-22-2010, 12:12 PM.

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    • #3
      If your common law relationship ends, and you do not have enough money to support yourself, you can ask your spouse to pay support. You can ask for support for yourself if you have been living together for three years, or if you have lived together for less time and have had or adopted a child together. If your spouse says no, you can go to court and ask a judge to decide if you should get support

      So i can not get any spousal support? And what does mean long relationship, how long they should be?

      Thank you for the answer.

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      • #4
        Spousal support is usually paid only for a limited # years, based on the length of the partnership. So if you were together 4 years, you might get spousal support for 2 to 4 years only. You can guess what the result would be for 3 months...

        He has no obligation to YOU (i.e. spousal support).
        He has an obligation to HIS CHILD (i.e. child support paid to you).

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        • #5
          Even if i can not work because of the baby and college i can not get any support?

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          • #6
            I don't think so.

            But note that on top of the child support payment that is based on his income, he is ALSO required to pay his proportional share of your daycare costs, so that you can work or go to school. For example if he makes 30K and you make 10K, then he would pay 30/(10+30) = 75% of your daycare costs.

            You can also get subsidised(free) daycare if you make less than $20K income or are in school. Being in school also gives you higher priority for a subsidised daycare spots (long waiting list, start looking NOW).

            Also, look into all the govt programs for supporting low income single-parent families. Lots of tax credits and payments available there to help.

            Sorry, I'm not sure how your immigration status affects all this.

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            • #7
              Immigration status does not affect as much as i know..

              I don't have income, i am full-time student and i don't have work permit in Canada.
              His income about 120 000 per year but he is contractor, so he pays tax and so on by himself. So Child Support Online Lookup showed he has to pay child support around 1100 cad. That's not enought for two of us(

              Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
              I don't think so.

              But note that on top of the child support payment that is based on his income, he is ALSO required to pay his proportional share of your daycare costs, so that you can work or go to school. For example if he makes 30K and you make 10K, then he would pay 30/(10+30) = 75% of your daycare costs.

              You can also get subsidised(free) daycare if you make less than $20K income or are in school. Being in school also gives you higher priority for a subsidised daycare spots (long waiting list, start looking NOW).

              Also, look into all the govt programs for supporting low income single-parent families. Lots of tax credits and payments available there to help.

              Sorry, I'm not sure how your immigration status affects all this.

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              • #8
                He is now very strange. Calls me, sends messages... Calls back and then starts abuse with words.. I answered that if i will come back i will ask him to do drug test. He answered - k no problem then you'll have no problems signing an agreement that we are not common law partners. you come here solely on your own accord with no expectations of personal support by me.

                Does such kind of agreements exists?

                Or he does not want me back and quit taking drugs, just wants to protect himself - take my back, make sign up such agreement and then separate again? He is very scared now that i can take money from him. If i want to keep baby i have no choice. The think which kills me - that baby really was his idea, i was against that, untll i will got work permit and documents in Canada. I feel that i want to keep a baby, but i am lonely here, i need to pay BIG money for my study as international (5700 semester). and i have no work permit! I have no place to live with child (because i will have to leave current place) and no one to help me. And he simly refuse give me any help (that's his way to punish me for leaving him). Should i go back to him after all that? How can i do it by myself ((((

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Marija View Post
                  ...
                  I don't have income, i am full-time student and i don't have work permit in Canada.
                  His income about 120 000 per year but he is contractor, so he pays tax and so on by himself. So Child Support Online Lookup showed he has to pay child support around 1100 cad. That's not enought for two of us(
                  You say you don't have income, yet you are supporting yourself somehow. That money must now be used to support yourself and your child.

                  He should pay child support based on his income, adjusted yearly until the child is an adult and supporting themselves.

                  BOTH of you are responsible to support your child to the best of you abilities. He is not obligated to support you after only 3 months living together.

                  I don't think you will succeed or should succeed obtaining 'spousal' support, but as for child support you have the government and law behind you and your child. It is a simple table for how much he should pay, plus he has to pay for extraordinary expenses such as medical/dental and day care in proportion to his income relative to yours.

                  You tend to blame him for the pregnancy, but as an adult you made the decision to get pregnant and you are responsible for the effect that has on your life and education, not him.

                  You have months to prepare for this before the baby arrives so that should be enough time for him to 'see the light' and voluntarily pay CS - but get an agreement in writing. Also, he may change his mind and want to raise the child with you (but separately with 50/50 physical custody), in which case all of you may be better off including the child in the long run.
                  Last edited by billm; 03-22-2010, 01:01 PM.

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                  • #10
                    separately with 50/50 physical custody raise the child - could you please explain what is that? i mean i understand but in reality how does it look like? Child spends half time with him? Should he pay any support in that case?

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                    • #11
                      You tend to blame him for the pregnancy, but as an adult you made the decision to get pregnant and you are responsible for the effect that has on your life and education, not him.

                      - I know that's true, but thinks with him are more complicated. I took the pills at the beginning but he persuaded me that he can not have children. he is 35, lived together wit woman 12 years, and they had no children together. That why he was telling how much he wants a child - like it would give him new sense of living. But when i got pregnant - drugs. I don't blame anyone. I am just frustrated myself.

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                      • #12
                        I had no income before, i had savings. As i wrote i don't have yet work permit here.

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                        • #13
                          posted already

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                          • #14
                            Your child-to-be has a right to have 2 involved parents. So, ideally you would 'share' your child 50/50 between the 2 of you - perhaps rotating time weekly, or every 3 days, and decide together on major issues like education, religion, possible medical/dental treatments. Of possibly the father will not be interested, and will refuse to take on role as father (it's sad, but that's his perogative). Or maybe something in between.

                            I'll second billm's comments about your responsibilities. It may seem impossible now, but you WILL manage. There's LOTS of help out there, so get cracking.

                            Why the heck are you asking for a drug test now??? I can see maybe after the child is born, if he is still abusing and possibly dangerous to the child.
                            Last edited by dinkyface; 03-22-2010, 01:35 PM.

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                            • #15
                              Im sorry but this story sounds extremely ficticious.......and being living together for 3 months you are NOT common law.....Im sorry to sound rude or too blunt but I think this was a set up by you to try to keep him.....also sounds like you are looking for a free ride......if you cannot afford to have the child then you should give it up to someone who would love to have a child and CAN afford it........Im sorry to everyone but I have always been a firm believer in speaking your mind and being a single mom this type of thing makes the stereotype even worse.......

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