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  • Car seat

    I found out my ex is using a booster seat for our child and they weigh under 40 lbs which is the requirement for the booster seat and the law in Ontario. Looking for opinions on how to handle this.

  • #2
    What is it that you are looking to achieve?
    Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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    • #3
      The safety of my child.

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      • #4
        I got married in early '80s... husband bought me a L82 Corvette with t-top (2 door, 2 seats). Son was transported around in one of those "bucket" things for several years. Seats didn't click in place and when I strapped the bucket into the front (only) seat, everything moved when I pushed seat forward. Had we been in a car accident both son and I would have been 'toast' as car was basically fibre glass. After having it for a few years we sold vehicle to BIL. I remember borrowing it from time to time for a trip to the mountains. Kid (then a toddler) would simply straddle the hump between the two seats! No seat belt and certainly no car seat.

        Of course I soon learned (as they became popular, along with baby monitors) that the "thing" to do was to buy car seat for child. Before you knew it, car seats HAD to be installed by a mechanic (I think things have changed now?).

        Now if this is a really big deal to you, and you are sincerely worried about child's safety, then simply text ex (way of communicating nowadays) and give her information. She may simply be unaware of the weight requirements. Or you can stalk her and call the police on her when you see her drive out of her driveway? (sarcasm). Of course you could go out and buy a nice age/weight-appropriate car seat?

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        • #5
          What does the child weigh and how tall is the child? Some children outgrow car seats height wise long before they do weight wise. Why not simply tell your ex you disagree and see what she says? Maybe she was given misinformation somewhere. I can only assume that no normal parent would knowingly risk their child’s safety


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          • #6
            I know the feeling. My ex took the kids out of their booster seats long before their bodies were the right size for travelling with no booster seat. He now allows them to ride in the front seat. Again, they are too small to be doing so. I have tried dealing with him to no avail. I have spoken with the police and pretty much, there's nothing I can do. It's beyond frustrating and frightening. I suspect the only thing you can do is join the ranks of parents who pray nothing happens to your kiddos while traveling in the car with the other parent.

            Berner_Faith, unfortunately there are some parents who would rather be "cool" than keep their child(ren) safe.

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            • #7
              Me three, my ex doesnt own a car but uses his brothers car on his weekends with no car seats, my 3 year should be in a proper car seat, 7 year old in a booster. I complained, he didnt care.

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              • #8
                Car seats have been availablw since the early 70’s, although at that time you bought them from car dealerships, they were very new, not a requirement and probably not that safe, although probably safer than kaying yiur j fant on the dloor of the car in a box when travelling alone, or on an adukts lap in thw front seat. I have never heard of a requirement for a mechanic to put in a seat, mYbe that was an kntario thing, as i am, i am quite sure that was not ghe case in my province.

                I guess you need to fugure out if child not in car seat due to cost, ignorance, or disregard. If vost or ignorance you ciuld offer to buy a seat or jnstall it.

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                • #9
                  What is the issue? You said your ex is using a car seat and the child needs to be in a car seat. They are using a car seat...I dont see what the problem is...

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                  • #10
                    The issue is the child is in the wrong type of restraint system. Since their introduction, parents have been told of the potential dangers of using the wrong size/type/etc. This child is in the wrong type of car restraint system. Unfortunately, this issue falls under the "you can't do anything about it until an actual injury or death occurs" category. I am going through it and have learned to take very deep breaths as I watch one of the kids take position in the front seat of their dad's vehicle. It's very very frightening and the OP is expressing that fear. There is absolutely nothing he can do but keep his fingers crossed and hope that nothing happens.

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                    • #11
                      Me four, my ex is using the expired car seat.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                        What does the child weigh and how tall is the child? Some children outgrow car seats height wise long before they do weight wise. Why not simply tell your ex you disagree and see what she says? Maybe she was given misinformation somewhere. I can only assume that no normal parent would knowingly risk their child’s safety

                        Weirdly enough in Ontario, you can transfer to a booster at 40 pounds or 8 years old.. but no height allows that transfer.


                        The law doesn't make sense. But that is rarely an obstacle.


                        Climber is looking to start a fight, to show that he is the better parent. He should get together with Ange so they can work on their helicoptering skills.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Janus View Post
                          Weirdly enough in Ontario, you can transfer to a booster at 40 pounds or 8 years old.. but no height allows that transfer.


                          The law doesn't make sense. But that is rarely an obstacle.


                          Climber is looking to start a fight, to show that he is the better parent. He should get together with Ange so they can work on their helicoptering skills.


                          No thanks Janus. I’m happily married. I think you’re the one who enjoys starting the fights. You don’t know anything about this poster other than that he is concerned for the safety of his kid. He has a right to be if his kid is in the wrong seat. That doesn’t make him a helicopter parent - your buzzword of the week.
                          That being said, I’m sure this falls under the “suck it up” category as well. She’s going to do what she wants on her time.


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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Ange71727 View Post
                            No thanks Janus. I’m happily married.

                            I was in no way saying that you had to have a biblically consummated relationship with climber in order to compare notes. Most people can talk without having sex, if that's not the case with you I thoroughly apologize for my careless assumptions.


                            You don’t know anything about this poster other than that he is concerned for the safety of his kid.
                            There are three possibilities:
                            1) He actually cares a lot about the safety of his kid.
                            2) He cares a little bit about the safety of his kid, but mostly wants to look like a better parent
                            3) He is almost solely concerned about looking like a better parent.


                            Based upon my experience in this forum, I suspect that the most likely possibility is #2. Of the others, I would say that #3 is more likely than #1. To me, this is the equivalent of saying "I have video proof that my ex travels on the highway at 120km/h with the kid in the car, what should I do?".


                            He has a right to be if his kid is in the wrong seat.
                            Having a kid who is slightly less than 40 pounds in a booster seat is a trivial detail. Unless mom is an unstable sociopath, she is using a booster seat because she thinks it is better. Maybe mom is wrong, but it isn't going to be by a large margin.


                            Climber is being incredibly intrusive.


                            That being said, I’m sure this falls under the “suck it up” category as well. She’s going to do what she wants on her time.
                            We agree! And we didn't even have to have sex to do so.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Janus View Post
                              I was in no way saying that you had to have a biblically consummated relationship with climber in order to compare notes. Most people can talk without having sex, if that's not the case with you I thoroughly apologize for my careless assumptions.



                              There are three possibilities:
                              1) He actually cares a lot about the safety of his kid.
                              2) He cares a little bit about the safety of his kid, but mostly wants to look like a better parent
                              3) He is almost solely concerned about looking like a better parent.


                              Based upon my experience in this forum, I suspect that the most likely possibility is #2. Of the others, I would say that #3 is more likely than #1. To me, this is the equivalent of saying "I have video proof that my ex travels on the highway at 120km/h with the kid in the car, what should I do?".



                              Having a kid who is slightly less than 40 pounds in a booster seat is a trivial detail. Unless mom is an unstable sociopath, she is using a booster seat because she thinks it is better. Maybe mom is wrong, but it isn't going to be by a large margin.


                              Climber is being incredibly intrusive.



                              We agree! And we didn't even have to have sex to do so.


                              You know what they say about assumptions.....

                              As long as your option #1 above is a possibility it’s hyperbole to claim that he’s “incredibly intrusive”. How you got that from his original post I have no idea.


                              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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