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Old 02-10-2010, 06:52 PM
Mess Mess is offline
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You're basically correct, I would just add that it is possible to have Joint Custody/Shared Access or Sole Custody/Shared Access. It is possible to have Joint Custody but one parent as primary residence (over 60%). Some of these combinations are maybe less likely because why have sole custody but shared access?

The reason would be if it was simply impossible for the parents to agree on things like medical issues and education, but there was no reason not to have equally shared time.

In your case, the mother has not involved herself in school, meeting teachers, etc, and has been incorrigable over medical issues. You would present that decision making would be a constant struggle/stalemate and would seek Sole Custody on those grounds.

She is trying for shared access but will not co-operate with a stable schedule up till now, unlikely. You have significant Status Quo, she would not get more access without your say so.

You can ask for a stable, defined access schedule but she will just as often cancel on you I bet. Offer every other weekend and optional time during the week, for example after school and for dinner one day a week.

She has not shown any involvement in the child's life, doesn't participate in actual parenting and has not been there for offered access for the last months. You are primary caregiver and your child is secure and settled in your home and routine, any disruption of this would open up far more hurt and psychological issues that even the initial separation did.