So here's the latest - thoughts and opinions appreciated
I'm in the marital home with the two boys (aged 16 and 13). He moved in with his sister until he can figure out a place on his own. We don't have any agreement signed or in any way figured out yet regarding visitation with the kids. Considering their ages - I suggested one night per week plus every other weekend just so we can plan/schedule and then go with the kids wishes (whether they want more or less - just to try to be flexible). He verbally agreed but that was a month ago. My ex has yet to spend any weeknight with the kids (we're really only a few weeks in to this) and hasn't taken them on a full weekend - I think he's taken them out shopping on one Saturday afternoon.
Well, this past weekend, accordingly to our flimsy schedule was mine. With Mother's Day it worked out well and if we stick to the plan this will also mean their dad will have all of father's day weekend with them.
I saw my ex today (scheduled work meeting) and asked him what night this week he was planning on seeing the kids -
"I haven't thought of it - but I was going to take D out shopping on Saturday".
My response was that he needed to start spending time with the kids
"I call them every day" that's great but not the same as face-to-face. What about the weekend?
"I don't have anywhere to take them - my sisters place doesn't have room" ugh...then take them BOTH out - EVERYDAY - they need to know you want to spend time with them. If they say no or have other plans that's up to them. He actually suggested I leave the house and he stays here for the weekend. Nope! Not going to happen - this is where I live and unless you're offering to pay for me spend a long weekend away - this is where I'll stay. UGH!
How does everyone deal with this in the early days? I want to be reasonable but I want to be smart too
Thanks!
I'm in the marital home with the two boys (aged 16 and 13). He moved in with his sister until he can figure out a place on his own. We don't have any agreement signed or in any way figured out yet regarding visitation with the kids. Considering their ages - I suggested one night per week plus every other weekend just so we can plan/schedule and then go with the kids wishes (whether they want more or less - just to try to be flexible). He verbally agreed but that was a month ago. My ex has yet to spend any weeknight with the kids (we're really only a few weeks in to this) and hasn't taken them on a full weekend - I think he's taken them out shopping on one Saturday afternoon.
Well, this past weekend, accordingly to our flimsy schedule was mine. With Mother's Day it worked out well and if we stick to the plan this will also mean their dad will have all of father's day weekend with them.
I saw my ex today (scheduled work meeting) and asked him what night this week he was planning on seeing the kids -
"I haven't thought of it - but I was going to take D out shopping on Saturday".
My response was that he needed to start spending time with the kids
"I call them every day" that's great but not the same as face-to-face. What about the weekend?
"I don't have anywhere to take them - my sisters place doesn't have room" ugh...then take them BOTH out - EVERYDAY - they need to know you want to spend time with them. If they say no or have other plans that's up to them. He actually suggested I leave the house and he stays here for the weekend. Nope! Not going to happen - this is where I live and unless you're offering to pay for me spend a long weekend away - this is where I'll stay. UGH!
How does everyone deal with this in the early days? I want to be reasonable but I want to be smart too
Thanks!
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