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Old 01-28-2013, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by sahibjee View Post
Misery of my life

[I am alone to the extent to which loneliness can prevail
The sweet fragrance of life that I could never inhail
The sorrows & hopelessness fill my hear all over
Olord kill this desperation & take my breath over]
(14 Jan, 08)

I am confused about situation or either I cant manipulate
Ive to accept the reality & facts because I cant deviate
My present state of mind makes myself ful
And I am more surprised when other say life is beautiful
(15 Jan, 08)
[I am supposed to look into matters with special instruction
A work that I hate, which leads to destruction]
{a person who loves me & Ive to leave him at the same time
I am left with no option except committing a crime.

Ill kill myself & will destroy my soul
Because I cant hold the pressure & cant suffer *for all (*or another word)
It seems a bit better to live beneath the soil.
So that I can prevent myself to become more spoil}
(14 Jan, 08)
(14th ,15th ,16th January 08)
Written By Me: (FirstName Last Name)
The World of the Borderline Mother--And Her Children | Psychology Today

(This next link is provided as the source to the direct quotes of Dr. Lawson's materials and for no other purpose. It is a blog but, the quotes are relevant which I have provided in the body of this message and taken from the blog.)

The Queen and King: Understanding My Borderline Mother

Originally Posted by Lawson
While a person with depression or bipolar disorder typically endures the same mood for weeks, a person with BPD may experience intense bouts of anger, depression and anxiety that may last only hours, or at most a day. These may be associated with episodes of impulsive aggression, self-injury, and drug or alcohol abuse. Distortions in cognition and sense of self can lead to frequent changes in long-term goals, career plans, jobs, friendships, gender identity, and values.
Originally Posted by Lawson
Sometimes people with BPD view themselves as fundamentally bad, or unworthy. They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are. Such symptoms are most acute when people with BPD feel isolated and lacking in social support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone.
Originally Posted by Lawson
Borderlines do selfish things for their own good, and rob their children of happiness and a "normal life" in various ways. Borderline mothers tend to use their children, and their husbands, and then discard them when they are through with them. Borderlines destroy families and tear them completely apart, and they are not always victims. Many of them can destroy their entire family and extended family, and feel justified.
Originally Posted by Lawson
Borderlines often inflict harm on their own children when involved in separations and divorces.
Originally Posted by Lawson
People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans.
Originally Posted by Lawson
Fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthlessness. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.
Originally Posted by Lawson
Borderlines make a person feel so loved, so secure etc., in the beginning (high value stage) and then a free-fall into insanity when the person completely morphs into a different personality, whom is cold, super angry, emotionally out of control and totally unreasonable and you find yourself lying emotionally wide-open, flat on your back, wondering what in the hell happened. (de-valuation stage).
When reading the descriptions of your matters OP... These and other quotes come to mind. I would heed the above warning to you. You really need to seek assistance prior to responding in that manner.

Good Luck!