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Old 01-25-2013, 11:39 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by firhill View Post
Couldn't the OP ask his stbx to draft the Offer to Settle that includes the same terms and conditions she said she's willing to agree to?
This is what I am recommending but, in a more complex way, involving the other party in the matter's solicitor to do. I tried to write the recommended letter in a way that it could be with prejudice be attached to a responding affidavit or put into the trial record. Not sure if I was totally successful in doing so but, I am no lawyer so I may have flopped on some of the wording. It was about (a) confirming if the statements made viva voce were in fact truthful and (b) obtaining the other party's position and/or (c) alerting the other solicitor to the conduct of their client and their client's position that they may not be aware of.

The odd card is really a weird one to deal with. I am trying to think of a way it can be attached to the correspondence as well without being perceived as mean but, demonstrating to the other party's lawyer that their client just made an admission against interest that their client provided evidence, in an exception to the hearsay rule, that their client clearly has

(a) no "fear" of the OP
(b) contacting the OP in contravention of the peace order existing
(c) trying to communicate some form of an apology for their past conduct

I wish the OP had a lawyer and a good one. If the OP had very experienced counsel they could quickly drive the matter to settlement possibly.

I have seen an evolving pattern on a few files now where this kind of conduct is routine. In all matters, the police were involved, the other parent attempted an "urgent" motion before the court and all failed... Ultimately after either (a) the legal aid ontario certificate expires or (b) the cogent and relevant evidence to conduct is produced a letter and/or some form of personal communication from the false accuser is produced.

It is baffling that this pattern of behavior is so prevalent and exposed so often in cases in which attempts to leverage the criminal justice system to gain an upper hand ("status quo") through this "truism" (read: Tactic) happens so often.

I am sure justices are starting to get tired with reading this kind of stuff from the factitious accusers who exaggerate to "win" a case and when their "tactic" fails to work write these kinds of letters/cards/vague apologies.

What I always ponder is why the justices in the matters do not do more about it? What is more concerning and what the OP should be more aware of is that in every matter I have seen with similar patterns of behaviour, when the note is deemed to have been "rejected" by the receiving parent, they have all later on the file re-engaged allegations to the police in attempt to again seek vengeance.

So be forewarned OP. Your not acknowledging and even questioning the letter may bring another unsubstantiated and false allegation to (a) the police and/or (b) CAS against you. If you have a significant other now involved in your life, expect a motion for contempt to be served for being happy next...

Often, these possibly highly conflicted (and possibly Axis II disordered borderlines and/or avoidants) expect you to do what they want, to be "controlled" by their "emotional ploy" and do what they want. When you don't, they will seek vengeance against you and start the hurling of allegations.

This is when the gaggle of negative advocates wielding affidavits of hearsay will show up on your file against you. Stating you are awful, mean, and the piles of "double hearsay" whereby these negative advocates state: "The wonderful Ms. X told me that the evil Mr. Y yelled at her, told her that she couldn't do A, B, C, blah blah blah blah blah".

This is probably because it is a tremendous narcissistic injury to them that you don't acquiesce to every very histrionic request emotional demand they make and odd poem the write to you.

BTW: Do note that Dr. Lawson has identified in clinical research, as well as other recognized professionals, that Axis II disordered people are avid poetry writers as a means of self expression.

You just have to search "borderline poetry" to see thousands of examples of similar poems all with the same "black and white" statements in them. One thing to note in the writing style is that they often discuss hiding behind "masks" and how they have to hide their true self from the rest of society. It is almost like clockwork how they write about the "masks" they identify. In fact, most actually write about the "mask" literally that they have to wear.

This must be the mask that I wear
To face them all so they don't stare
It hides my tears and my pain
But slowly it drives me insane

(Just as an example to back up the hypothesis presented.)

Good Luck!

Last edited by Tayken; 01-25-2013 at 11:47 PM.