Hi All,
So many may have read in other threads that my separation has been quite acrimonious. The support of this group has been quite helpful, especially knowing you are not alone in this craziness.
There were a number of factors that led to my separation from my wife. Issues on my end that needed resolving. I can comfortably say that through hard work and counseling, I have overcome those issues.
Now when I approach my wife to check on reconciliation, she says that its not about what led to the separation, but rather how I've acted during the separation.
What she means by this, is that SHE filed a court application for sole custody and extremely limited access to the kids (basically asked for the moon) and I lawyered up and responded accordingly, did the CC and SC's, and came out with a negotiated agreement of joint custody and 50/50 parenting through graduated steps. According to her, I did not give her what she wants, and as such, demonstrated that I do not put her first or listen to her, and apparently that is why she does not wish to reconcile!
She made me choose between gambling with parenting our kids with the possibility of reconciliation. She essentially wanted me to give into her every demand, and because I fought back, she does not want to be with me? Essentially, her court application was SO ridiculous that I barely needed to open my mouth, and the outcome was NOT because of what I said or did, but rather by her own alienating actions that painted her in a negative light in court.
I am trying to have the opportunity to meet with her to clear the air on all of her misconceptions, speculations and mis-trust, however she basically is screaming for divorce and I'm afraid its too late. I am not the one who filed in court, and caused things to spin out of control to the point of no return. She basically has divorce engrained in her mind, and I am positive that our differences are not "irreconcilable" but rather if we cleared the air and took baby steps, we could actually save the marriage.
Can anyone provide any insight? I never wanted to start a war, but don't put me in a position where I have to choose between my wife and kids...
So many may have read in other threads that my separation has been quite acrimonious. The support of this group has been quite helpful, especially knowing you are not alone in this craziness.
There were a number of factors that led to my separation from my wife. Issues on my end that needed resolving. I can comfortably say that through hard work and counseling, I have overcome those issues.
Now when I approach my wife to check on reconciliation, she says that its not about what led to the separation, but rather how I've acted during the separation.
What she means by this, is that SHE filed a court application for sole custody and extremely limited access to the kids (basically asked for the moon) and I lawyered up and responded accordingly, did the CC and SC's, and came out with a negotiated agreement of joint custody and 50/50 parenting through graduated steps. According to her, I did not give her what she wants, and as such, demonstrated that I do not put her first or listen to her, and apparently that is why she does not wish to reconcile!
She made me choose between gambling with parenting our kids with the possibility of reconciliation. She essentially wanted me to give into her every demand, and because I fought back, she does not want to be with me? Essentially, her court application was SO ridiculous that I barely needed to open my mouth, and the outcome was NOT because of what I said or did, but rather by her own alienating actions that painted her in a negative light in court.
I am trying to have the opportunity to meet with her to clear the air on all of her misconceptions, speculations and mis-trust, however she basically is screaming for divorce and I'm afraid its too late. I am not the one who filed in court, and caused things to spin out of control to the point of no return. She basically has divorce engrained in her mind, and I am positive that our differences are not "irreconcilable" but rather if we cleared the air and took baby steps, we could actually save the marriage.
Can anyone provide any insight? I never wanted to start a war, but don't put me in a position where I have to choose between my wife and kids...
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