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  • Ex starting home daycare - charging me

    Our son is starting school full-time next September.

    According to our divorce order, she is entitled to spousal support until then.

    She just sent me notice that she has decided to start a home daycare rather than return to work outside the home. She says she is doing so so that she can be home to look after our son after school. He is high functioning autistic and she doesn't want to put him in an after school care program.

    She is now planning to charge me her daycare going rate to look after our son. This is in addition to spousal support and full table child support I am already paying.

    I had offered to pay her a small extra amount monthly while she gets her daycare up and running, but she is trying to enroll her own child as a "client" and charging me for it.

    Thoughts?

  • #2
    I don't think you really need any help on this do you?

    I have to ask some of you guys here... where did you find these women?

    Seriously!

    Comment


    • #3
      haha.
      Did she offer that in writing to you? I hope so...please keep it for court or future reference.

      Comment


      • #4
        She wants you to pay her during her parenting time? Outrageous.

        I don't know that she can legally charge you but it certainly can't be claimed as a deduction for you. At the bottom of the first page it states that you cannot claim that deduction if the person caring for the child is a parent/relative. It makes me think she cannot charge you. I think it was generous of you to even offer to help while her daycare gets started.

        http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/E/pbg/tf/t778/t778-12e.pdf


        Here is the CRA guidelines for home based daycares. The biggest problem for many is that you need to be properly insured. She needs to let her home owners'/renters' insurance know that she is caring for other peoples' children on her property.

        http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/E/pub/tg/p134/p134-12e.pdf

        Hope it works out for you.

        Comment


        • #5
          In our province you have to be licensed.

          Look on the bright side - if she's making money your numbers will change. Charging you for looking after her own kid? Perfect and useful information will be gleaned from this for court.

          sometimes people just need to be given enough rope to hang themselves. I wouldn't interrupt her on her quest at this time. Get business cards printed for her!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by FightingForFamily View Post
            I had offered to pay her a small extra amount monthly while she gets her daycare up and running, but she is trying to enroll her own child as a "client" and charging me for it.

            Thoughts?
            She does this because you let her. That isn't meant to sound nasty but that first sentence above speaks volumes! You don't offer ANYTHING. You pay what you are required; no more and no less. You relationship with her is strictly a 'business' one now. Remember that.

            I wouldn't even discuss it with her anymore. If she wants MORE money then let her bring a motion to change and let her explain it to the judge. Man, I would love to read a judges decision on that one!

            Comment


            • #7
              Well that's "different" - crikeys!

              I'm speechless.

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              • #8
                Thanks, I kept my post neutral but when I received her e-mail I both laughed and seethed.

                I fully intend to follow our agreement and keep up on all my legal obligations. She admitted in writing her daycare is already up and running. I don't think I'll pursue a motion to change right now since spousal support is ending in 5 months anyways... no need to escalate conflict.

                But yes, she really is only hurting herself by trying to take such advantage of my "kindness" to kick her some extra child support while she gets her home business running.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I believe it would be acceptable for her business to pay rent. Better yet, have her sign a lease.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    She sees the end of her SS in a few months' time and is just acting out of desperation. But at least she's got employment now.

                    And I agree with mom2three, you can't be giving her any kindnesses; she'll just see a chink in the armour and next thing you know she's demanding all kinds of things. She should just be happy you aren't making a motion to stop SS early due to her change in circumstances!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I agree Rioe. She is a very insecure person and obviously panicking.

                      I feel like I offered her an inch and she wants a mile... I am being too nice. My son is special needs which was my motivation.

                      I offered her $577 (table) + $325 per month to cover any S7 expenses for a year, essentially free money with no strings attached. But she immediately wanted to ensure she could still ask me for other S7 expenses... who turns down $325 to fight over $50 for the dentist? Our child is six and his S7 needs have historically been under $200 per YEAR.

                      I guess I will take the $325 per month and invest it in something else for him, like an RESP.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Just say no, pay the normal amount, let her take you to court over it.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Looking at this from purely business point of view: If your kid is 'enrolled' in this home daycare, then this means there is one less spot for a paying customer. Therefore, there is a cost to her. And you have a duty to contribute to childcare costs to enable her to work.

                          It's a bit twisted around, but I think you have a duty to pay.

                          But, possibly if she is not really doing this fulltime i.e. running at only half-capacity, then maybe you can argue it.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
                            Looking at this from purely business point of view: If your kid is 'enrolled' in this home daycare, then this means there is one less spot for a paying customer. Therefore, there is a cost to her.
                            I believe the rules for home daycares do not count the provider's own children. You can have up to five children, no more than two under two and three under three, plus your own children, no matter how many that may be.

                            So yes, a provider with five children could potentially have ten kids in the house every day.

                            Anyways, your child would not be taking up a paying spot. If your ex chooses to have fewer kids, it's a choice, not mandated.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I think dinkyface might be right. If your ex got an out-of-the-home job and had to find after-school care for your son, you'd be expected to share the costs of the child care provider as S7. She's presented a situation in which she plans to work and needs child care in order to do so - and she just happens to be the child care provider herself. So she's not asking to be paid on her parenting time. It's weird, but I think not totally wrong.

                              You would probably want to find out about the other clients for her daycare - if it's just going to be your son and maybe one other kid, then it's not a bona fide business. You may also want to require that she be licensed and certified to run this operation, with regular inspections, etc. Lots of people think running a day care just means making snacks and taking kids to the playground, but a real daycare operation is much more intensive than that. If she goes through all the certification procedures, then she's probably intent on running a true home business and not just getting paid for babysitting.

                              Comment

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