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shared increase in matrimonial value after separation

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  • #16
    meh..., your married. You have plenty of money now to divy up between the two of you and to pay for lawyers to set up a divorce.

    Your description of your life sounds quite lonely. Many people unfortunately live in loveless marriages for decades. Yours is no different.

    I do not see your situation as unique. You make more money than your wife and the two incomes supported a lifestyle that you both enjoyed, even though you kept separate bank accounts as many do.

    Your excuse for not finalizing divorce years ago is thin. Hope you don't waste court's resources. File and get on with your life.

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by arabian View Post
      meh..., your married. You have plenty of money now to divy up between the two of you and to pay for lawyers to set up a divorce.

      Your description of your life sounds quite lonely. Many people unfortunately live in loveless marriages for decades. Yours is no different.

      I do not see your situation as unique. You make more money than your wife and the two incomes supported a lifestyle that you both enjoyed, even though you kept separate bank accounts as many do.

      Your excuse for not finalizing divorce years ago is thin. Hope you don't waste court's resources. File and get on with your life.
      That's really cold Arabian! I find it amazing that some people jump to judgement without knowing the details or the circumstances of one's struggle.

      Not everyone who posts in this forum tells every detail of their relationship. I post here only aspects that require clarification from the perspective of the Family Law of ontario or the Divorce Act. I'd like to see people like you to focus more on aiding in answering some of these "legal" questions (which could help other readers of this forum) and less on posting back unwarranted inflammatory comments.

      But let me tell you this, you are absolutely incorrect in assuming that we had a lot of money and we were enjoying it. Except for the last 2 years or so we were living from pay cheque to pay cheque, and due to severe illness of one of my kids (life threatening condition) I put everything about myself on the back burner. My child is out of the woods as of now (health improving as the kid gets older), we or rather I am starting to get back to resolve my problems (marriage) now.

      Comment


      • #18
        Reality my friend.

        The only thing cold is your conniving to cut your wife out of her share of assets. Home had equity in it when you bought it in 2007 (did the price drop?) You both work. You both contributed, one way or another, to the marriage.

        All marriages have their ups and downs and challenges. For whatever reason (that you choose not to share with us) you and your wife stayed together. She likely has her own version of things. If the two of you can't come to an agreement, and you are still intent on divorcing, then the court will decide for you. If you think I'm cold, just wait until you are in front of a judge answering he/her questions. Big one is why you waited so long.... and all the complicated "isms" that go along with those sorts of questions.

        You posted asking for people's opinions and you got mine.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by arabian View Post
          Reality my friend.

          The only thing cold is your conniving to cut your wife out of her share of assets. Home had equity in it when you bought it in 2007 (did the price drop?) You both work. You both contributed, one way or another, to the marriage.

          All marriages have their ups and downs and challenges. For whatever reason (that you choose not to share with us) you and your wife stayed together. She likely has her own version of things. If the two of you can't come to an agreement, and you are still intent on divorcing, then the court will decide for you. If you think I'm cold, just wait until you are in front of a judge answering he/her questions. Big one is why you waited so long.... and all the complicated "isms" that go along with those sorts of questions.

          You posted asking for people's opinions and you got mine.
          You are projecting your own bitter experience onto mine making your opinion skewed to say the least. My wife is aware of everything going on and she never would subscribe to your description of me as conniving and trying to cut her off of her share of assets. In fact, we have already agreed that we would never go to court in case of disagreement, and in the worst case scenario, we will opt for arbitration. We'll leave the court battles for you for more years to come. With this attitude no wonder your ex keeps dragging you to court. Now it's confirmed that you are really a cold and bitter woman. I didn't ask for opinion from belligerent and bitter people.

          I understand that you had a bad divorce experience and who doesn't, but with over 10000 posts from you everyone heard only your side of the story, and I'm certain that your side of the story is not all true. I'm certain that your bitterness is making your opinion unreliable and faulty for those cases that have or you may think have the slightess resemblance to yours. It is clear that you're not impartial to men going through divorce. Please don't respond to my posts anymore. In my case, your opinion is not welcome. Don't bother responding to my posts, as I'm not going to waste my time with you.

          Comment


          • #20
            blah blah blah

            "matrimonial home" - read up on that for a start
            You are living in the matrimonial home.

            Presumably your dear wife, who never paid for anything, by now has amassed a small fortune - you would be entitled to your portion as she is of your pension.

            quit the histrionics if you want assistance.

            I could care less if you are male or female.

            Do yourself a favor and instead of trying to pick a fight with me, start doing some reading and educate yourself.

            I went through binding arbitration. Educate yourself on the importance of "binding" arbitration.

            Also read up on "independent legal advice" - important for both of you before you agree to cede any assets or liabilities.

            Carry on. Learn to take some honest criticism.... it will help you in the end. Or... you can hire a lawyer who will blow smoke up your ass and tell you what you want to hear.

            Or... post again in another 6 years and let us know how things are going.



            If you don't want to read my posts then hit the "ignore" button

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by menchia View Post
              In fact, we have already agreed that we would never go to court in case of disagreement, and in the worst case scenario, we will opt for arbitration.
              As a heads up, arbitration is more expensive than court. You still need to pay for lawyers, but now you get to pay for a judge too. The benefit to arbitration is not cost, it is speed and privacy.

              Private arbitration judges cost anywhere from $400-$600 per hour or more, and you could easily be looking at 40 hours because you also pay for "thinking time". Don't forget that you still need your lawyer. Arbitration is a game for the wealthy. Better to have the taxpayer funded judge.

              Bonus: arbitration awards can be easily appealed, just like court. Actually, it is likely easier to appeal an arbitration ruling than a court ruling, so that adds even more to the potential cost.

              TLDR: Unless you are rich and you care for some reason about speed of judgement, use the free judge.


              I didn't ask for opinion from belligerent and bitter people.
              You asked on an open forum. Most of us here are belligerent and bitter . You want to hear those negative opinions, because you have to start formulating your arguments to counter them.


              It is clear that you're not impartial to men going through divorce.
              I'm generally accused of being anti-woman more than I'm accused of being anti-man on this forum, so as one of the people on "your side" let me tell you, as I have already said, that your attempt to steal the last 10 years of equity growth from your ex wife is likely doomed to failure.

              She may have been a useless sludge. but even in clear cases it is tough to get an unequal split of the matrimonial home. Your case, as the saying goes, is clear as mud. You are not getting that unequal split.

              Comment


              • #22
                Good points Janus. It is worth noting that Arbitration differs province to province. My divorce was in Alberta and arbitrator was a judge (paid for by tax payers). Arbitration was turned into Order by same judge, in courtroom 1 hour after decision.

                Hopefully this poster can come to agreement on consent and avoid court altogether. Might be useful for both he and his wife to complete a mock financial disclosure process that they would have to go through for Arbitration or court by simple printing out and completing the appropriate forms (readily available on internet). In addition, they could have the family accountant prepare financial statement. Equalization would be quite simple with full financial disclosure.

                Comment


                • #23
                  We jointly bought a house on 2007
                  This is the most important point. You both own the house. If she is prepared to sell you her half of the house for a dollar amount you are willing to pay then you can negotiate buying her out. Otherwise, the house will be sold. The presumption is that you will get equal shares because you are equal owners.

                  From the separation date (2008) up to now I paid all house bills (utilities, property tax, home insurance, etc) and all the mortgage
                  -The wife paid nothing at all
                  -Both wife and I stayed at the matrimonial home (different quarters). She did not move out of the house all this time, and we still both live in the house now.
                  You may have a claim for unjust enrichment.

                  In family law, when you buy something for an ex spouse, that is not considered to be support, that is considered to be a gift. You had control of the money, you decided how it was spent (or not spent). Support is money that is unconditional for the recipient.
                  I would be reluctant to go that far. If OP was paying for STBX expenses, such as the visa bill or car insurance, they can reasonably expect to receive credit for it against a support obligation.

                  In my case since we've been separated since 2008, it seems the time to apply for equalization has expired
                  Bear in mind, she does not need equalization. She owns half of the house.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by OrleansLawyer View Post
                    This is the most important point. You both own the house. If she is prepared to sell you her half of the house for a dollar amount you are willing to pay then you can negotiate buying her out. Otherwise, the house will be sold. The presumption is that you will get equal shares because you are equal owners.



                    You may have a claim for unjust enrichment.



                    I would be reluctant to go that far. If OP was paying for STBX expenses, such as the visa bill or car insurance, they can reasonably expect to receive credit for it against a support obligation.



                    Bear in mind, she does not need equalization. She owns half of the house.
                    Thank you very much OrleansLawer. That's exactly the type of feedback that put things in perspective for me. Your response is solely based on the facts I provided, no extrapolation or reading between the lines. Very helpful and informative indeed.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Janus View Post
                      As a heads up, arbitration is more expensive than court. You still need to pay for lawyers, but now you get to pay for a judge too. The benefit to arbitration is not cost, it is speed and privacy.

                      Private arbitration judges cost anywhere from $400-$600 per hour or more, and you could easily be looking at 40 hours because you also pay for "thinking time". Don't forget that you still need your lawyer. Arbitration is a game for the wealthy. Better to have the taxpayer funded judge.

                      Bonus: arbitration awards can be easily appealed, just like court. Actually, it is likely easier to appeal an arbitration ruling than a court ruling, so that adds even more to the potential cost.

                      TLDR: Unless you are rich and you care for some reason about speed of judgement, use the free judge.




                      You asked on an open forum. Most of us here are belligerent and bitter . You want to hear those negative opinions, because you have to start formulating your arguments to counter them.




                      I'm generally accused of being anti-woman more than I'm accused of being anti-man on this forum, so as one of the people on "your side" let me tell you, as I have already said, that your attempt to steal the last 10 years of equity growth from your ex wife is likely doomed to failure.

                      She may have been a useless sludge. but even in clear cases it is tough to get an unequal split of the matrimonial home. Your case, as the saying goes, is clear as mud. You are not getting that unequal split.
                      Thank you Janus for the heads up on arbitration. The STBX does not like being in court; I'll forward your message to her.

                      I do not think most people here are belligerent, at least I do not think you are. From the get go when you posted your replies to my post I knew that you're trying to play the role of the critic to help me sharpen my arguments when I need to. It's all in the "tone" of the written words that intentions are revealed.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        The Family court is a court of law based on facts, and in my opinion is not a court of justice, it is not about what's fair and what's not fair. It is simply laws supported by facts. Therefore, I believe offering sought advice in this great forum to people based entirely on the information s/he provides within the Family Law realm is the best way to help. It is irrelevant what vibe you may feel about a person or what you may think about her/his intentions. By offering advice from your own experience based solely on how the Family Law was applied in your case is priceless to the many souls seeking help here.

                        Comment

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