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  • Need a lawyer to deal with a narcissist

    I need a lawyer in the Ottawa area(preferably towards the east end) to help me with my divorce.


    I have been separated 3.5 years. separation agreement signed 1.5 years ago, and the division of property a few weeks later.


    Three weeks ago I filed for divorce. Last week My ex filed a motion to gain sole custody of our two children(currently 50/50). she is after full child support, as well as full spousal support. As well as retroactive support going back two years.


    I am a mechanic not a psychiatrist, but all the research I have done over the past few years says the same; Narcissistic personality disorder.


    The other issue I have is that my ex is a lawyer. So she is incredibly intelligent as well as knowing the law. I need a lawyer Who knows how to deal with this type of personality?

  • #2
    Interview three lawyers. Ideally:

    - Who do family law exclusively, or >85% of their files;
    - At least 5 years of experience; and
    - Who you have a good gut feeling about

    All lawyers have deal with more than their share of people with cluster B personality disorders. It comes with the territory.

    Comment


    • #3
      you have a signed separation agreement that should of dealt with the child custody and SS.

      Your ex is a lawyer and you are an automotive tech so I figure she makes more then you do so why does she think she is entitled to support? Unless she isnt working as a lawyer?

      Dont try to analyze yours exs mental state. You are not qualified to do that no matter how much reading you may have done. You are emotionally involved so cannot form an unbiased opinion.

      From what I have read here she is barking up the wrong tree as I cannot see where she would be entitled to change the agreement. What are her reasons to go for sole now?

      Comment


      • #4
        Talk to a lawyer.

        But relax a bit.

        I assume that you have had the kids 50-50 for several years now. Read status quo. That should deal with full table CS issue.

        She has to prove needed support and as a lawyer, practicing or not, a salary should be inputted to her. Plus she has not received SS to date? That should also help.

        A lot of women are horrible about their ex's money....they really feel entitled to all of it. Lawyer up, it will be cheaper in the long run.

        Just because she wants it, doesn't mean she will get it.

        Comment


        • #5
          Your ex doesn't have a personality disorder. 1-2% of the population has a personality disorder.

          Read this and stop the nonsense: http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/s...ad.php?t=19845

          Comment


          • #6
            Peterthefarmer

            That last post by Tayken is awful advice....It is real simple in my opinion. If your ex is consistently accusing you of things they are in fact guilty of themselves and you are the only with concrete proof - they have a personality disorder. PERIOD.
            Follow your own instincts - if your ex does indeed have a narcissistic or Borderline personality disorder then they will likely eventually provide you with the proof you need. Over time and with organization you can collect the proof and they will have a hard time in court with any decent lawyer.
            You have to be honest with yourself though - if she has proof of her allegations then Tayken is correct. There is no defence in simply stating she is narcissistic.

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            • #7
              I lived with her for 16 years. I have seen her friends come and go. She has used people her whole life, to get what she needs. Just to watch her throw them away like they mean nothing. I have done my research as well. If you say that 1-2% of the population has a personality disorder? Well I at least know 50-100 people. No one else I know is like my ex. Our old marriage Counceller told me privately to take heed. She also said that in 24 years of couples therapy she has never met someone like my ex. She said to prepare for the worst.
              So with a great deal of certainty, I believe she is a textbook example of a narcissist!

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by peterthefarmer View Post
                I am a mechanic not a psychiatrist, but all the research I have done over the past few years says the same; Narcissistic personality disorder.
                And it is highly unlikely your research is worth a pot of piss and the other parent in the situation is NOT personality disordered. She is not a textbook example of a narcissist.

                Read this: https://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...ad.php?t=19845

                We have all seen your BS on this forum a hundred times. Hence the reason we simply post the same thing over and over.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Have you found a good Lawyer to battle your Narcissist EX and if so what Law Firm? I need it too.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Mr.Concerned View Post
                    Have you found a good Lawyer to battle your Narcissist EX and if so what Law Firm? I need it too.
                    Perhaps you should read the entire thread, including the posts by Tayken.

                    Just sayin'

                    Anyhow, any lawyer will battle your ex. No special skills are required to fight a narcissist. There may be some special skills required to represent a narcissist, but that's not your problem.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by peterthefarmer View Post
                      I need a lawyer in the Ottawa area(preferably towards the east end) to help me with my divorce.
                      search Google reviews and lawyer ratings to find lawyers with good feedback from the community.

                      ask around the community. customers, etc.

                      search canlii to see what sort of cases the lawyer has presented in court, how they've presented, and what the outcome was.


                      Originally posted by peterthefarmer View Post
                      I have been separated 3.5 years. separation agreement signed 1.5 years ago, and the division of property a few weeks later.
                      So the status quo has been in place for 1.5 years.


                      Originally posted by peterthefarmer View Post
                      Three weeks ago I filed for divorce. Last week My ex filed a motion to gain sole custody of our two children(currently 50/50). she is after full child support, as well as full spousal support. As well as retroactive support going back two years.
                      She does sound like a naraccist going by the definition of "mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for execcissive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. but behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism."

                      You've scarred her ego by filing for a divorce. now she's reacting to that by going after your kids and sole custody, as well as full table child support and spousal support back to 6 months before the 50.50 seperation agreement was signed nearly 2 years ago.


                      Originally posted by peterthefarmer View Post
                      I am a mechanic not a psychiatrist, but all the research I have done over the past few years says the same; Narcissistic personality disorder.
                      Issue is, you don't want to allege that she is a naraccist. because you are not qualified to classify her as that and probably don't have any document to back up your claims. Just describe her actions demonstrating that she's being unreasonable.

                      Originally posted by peterthefarmer View Post
                      The other issue I have is that my ex is a lawyer. So she is incredibly intelligent as well as knowing the law. I need a lawyer Who knows how to deal with this type of personality?
                      doesn't mean shit. doesn't mean she's incredibly intelligent. doesn't mean she knows the law. in fact, it sounds like she has no idea about the law.

                      first thing first. she will need to demonstrate a material change in circumstances pertaining to decision making. what is she claiming has changed over the last 1.5 years? How does this warrant a change from joint custody to sole custody to her?

                      second thing, she will need to demonstrate a material change in circumstances pertaining to access. what is the material change she is claiming over the last 1.5 years? How does this warrant a change from 50.50 to let's say 70.30 ?

                      third thing, she has to make less money than you for you to be liable for child support under 50.50. who made more money every year of the last 3 years? has she ever asked for child support in the last 1.5 years? if so, why didn't she bring a motion for it earlier ? what material change in circumstances pertaining to the time children spend with each parent and the parties income is she claiming has changed over the last 1.5 years?

                      last thing, she is a lawyer. is she seriously depending on a mechanic to make a living? last time I checked, a mechanics hourly rate was about half up to a small fraction of a lawyers hourly rate. Also, mechanics don't charge for emails, phone calls, and voicemails. lawyers do. But that's just me ranting without knowing your respective incomes. either way, I think she is grasping at straws with spousal support. more so because she's been self dependent for the last 3.5 years as a lawyer - and her hourly rate only goes up with experience.


                      you should definitely get a lawyer to represent you. let her represent herself based on the saying "a lawyer who represents him or herself is a fool for a client."

                      hardest thing is getting a lawyer to go against another lawyer. use your best judgement and gut feelings when speaking with lawyers. speak with at least 5 and then decide if you've found the right lawyer.

                      I would generally recommend a lawyer with at least 20 years experience.
                      Last edited by tunnelight; 06-19-2019, 01:11 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Your response should look something like this:

                        I am the applicant and have such have knowneldge of the matters hererine after deposed.

                        The respondent and I were married on X date. We separated on Y date.

                        The responded and I are biological parents of one child, namely, born X date.

                        The respondent and I, after 2 years of negotiations, reached a separation agreement oN Y date, giving us joint custody and equal periods of care with childs_name. Attached to this my affidavit as exhibit "A" is a copy of said agreement.

                        There was no agreement for child support given the equal periods of care and no order for spousal support given the respondent career and self sufficiency.

                        I commenced this proceeding to simply obtain a divorce order given we have been separated for 3.5 years and given all matters between us have been settled for 1.5 years.

                        The respondent, for reasons unknown to me, is seeking (in response) to change the separation agreement, seeking sole custody, full table child support and spousal support dating 6 months prior to the separation agreement was signed. I have been forced to retain counsel to respond to the respondents motion.

                        The children have been well adjusted and grown accustomed to the status quo and decision making regime that has been in place for the last 1.5 years. There has not been any major disagreements or conflicts between us impacting the workability of this arrangement.

                        I have filed a sworn financial statement within the court and my income tax returns and notice of assessments for the last 3 years.

                        I sweat this affidavit in support of my relief requested by me in my notice of Application, and for another or improper purpose.
                        Last edited by tunnelight; 06-19-2019, 02:40 AM.

                        Comment

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