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Old 02-25-2019, 11:25 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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1. Even though you keep repeating that you don't mean to "demean" mom- that's what you're doing. To us at least.

2. Honestly- it's sounds like you're trying to overcompensate for what you think are mom's shitty parenting skills. Mainly that she doesn't take enough of an interest in your daughter's education and ensure she's helping.

You're probably right. You're doing your part....but maybe ease up on your kid a bit. I don't mean stop doing what you're doing- it sounds like you're doing the right things. BUT like Rocksan said- take her out as a reward. Or straight up bribe her.

I'm far from this with my daughter- but I intend to fully bribe her to do well in school. It worked for me. My parents did not have a lot of money- but when I was in highschool- A's on a report card meant $20. Everything else was $0. This was in addition to the allowance I got for completing regular chores. My parents told me that they knew I could get A's if I tried and worked hard. And that the money was a reward- just like in life- you work your ass off, you generally get rewarded. When I got to OAC- they told me that if I graduated with an over 95% avg and stayed local for university they would get me a car. I sure as shit worked my ass off for that and achieved it. But I didn't get the car cause I opted to go away.

Not the same thing- but my daughter comes home from the days at her dad with SO. MUCH. ATTITUDE....if she doesn't get to do what she wants it's a full out tantrum. Probably because she's with her cousins all day (ex's sister's kids) who basically do whatever the fuck they want, whenever the fuck they want (is that judgment you hear? yes.)...But it could also be that that's just how it is with kids transitioning between homes. One home is always going to be the stricter home (sounds like you're 'bad cop').

A friend of mine has bonus babies that are her husbands daughters from a previous marriage (11 and 9)- she says she always gives them a day to let them "reset"- to remember they're at dad's home now. This usually means gently reminding them to pick up after themselves (mom's house has a maid)- to say 'please and thank you'....I think the same thing could apply at your place. Give her some transition time- and don't feel like you have to make up for mom's shortcomings when it comes to helping with her education.

Last edited by iona6656; 02-25-2019 at 11:28 AM.
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