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  • #16
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
    If she is entitled to spousal (and truly you should have a lawyer) then try to fight to have it reviewed at different periods like three and five years or even stepped down. If you are young and you haven’t been married long, the likelihood of long or permanent spousal support will be lower.

    Janus is right about the rest. No one cares about the non custodial parent and getting upset about it is a waste of energy.

    Focus on getting less spousal for a shorter period of time, transitioning to 50/50 and getting your ex back to work.
    Thanks rockscan for your reply. Honestly, after reading janus' replies, I went into a shock although I know that the response is correct as per the limited information provided from my side.
    The marriage was a bit long-10ish years. Looks like will need to go for a 50/50 battle soon. With 10ish years of relation, how many years of spousal support should I expect based on your observations in the forum? Sorry I am new to this forum and not much knowledgeable of the family law. Thanks

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    • #17
      I know nothing about spousal. Your best bet is to do a deep dive into these forums and read up on other questions posted. Then take a hop over to canlii.org and search for cases like yours. It will take a lot of research and understanding I’m afraid. No two cases are the same and you know the circumstances of yours the best.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
        I know nothing about spousal. Your best bet is to do a deep dive into these forums and read up on other questions posted. Then take a hop over to canlii.org and search for cases like yours. It will take a lot of research and understanding I’m afraid. No two cases are the same and you know the circumstances of yours the best.
        Thanks so much rockscan. Will do. Take care

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Taher View Post
          The father did not leave the child with the mom because of work only. There were some valid reasons and circumstances making things difficult for the father to take his child's custody. Now that the things are in a better state, he can go for a 50/50.
          What would you have done if the mother had died the day you separated. Would you have been able to take custody then? How was separation different than death?

          Secondly, not fighting for 50/50 just for money.
          I never said you were.

          I truly believe that 50/50 should be a default presumption, and I think it is a travesty that it is not.

          But... the courts will think you are doing this just for money. Also, most of your posts on this forum to date have been about money.

          My advice: Don't mention money at all. For the love of God don't send anything in writing to your ex complaining about money, or how you don't have any, or how you are broke. All those messages will be used to show that you are going for 50% custody just to save money.

          There are things that are beyond this which cannot be disclosed here.
          Unless you have a criminal conviction, it probably isn't as special or unique as you think. If it is a criminal conviction, save your money. We had a poster here not long ago who tried to solve his family law troubles before his criminal trial. It didn't end well.

          Thanks for your help. And just to clarify, father leaving the child is a presumption here; the reality is opposite unfortunately.
          If the mother stole away the child, and the father did not immediately bring that to court, then the court sees that as the father agreeing that the child should live with the mother.

          The child has been with the mother for almost a year, and the child has not died. That means her parenting is effective. Do you have any evidence that the child is suffering?

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Janus View Post
            What would you have done if the mother had died the day you separated. Would you have been able to take custody then? How was separation different than death?



            I never said you were.

            I truly believe that 50/50 should be a default presumption, and I think it is a travesty that it is not.

            But... the courts will think you are doing this just for money. Also, most of your posts on this forum to date have been about money.

            My advice: Don't mention money at all. For the love of God don't send anything in writing to your ex complaining about money, or how you don't have any, or how you are broke. All those messages will be used to show that you are going for 50% custody just to save money.



            Unless you have a criminal conviction, it probably isn't as special or unique as you think. If it is a criminal conviction, save your money. We had a poster here not long ago who tried to solve his family law troubles before his criminal trial. It didn't end well.



            If the mother stole away the child, and the father did not immediately bring that to court, then the court sees that as the father agreeing that the child should live with the mother.

            The child has been with the mother for almost a year, and the child has not died. That means her parenting is effective. Do you have any evidence that the child is suffering?
            Thanks for your help Janus.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Janus View Post
              Swimming lesson are not extraordinary, so they would be covered by child support.
              I have paid my share of these types of expenditures to avoid the atomic bomb that would go off if I were to contest ex. It keeps the peace and to date the expenses have been reasonable.

              But most importantly, there are good chances that without my contribution my ex would not sign up for these types of things at all, and then the kids would suffer.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
                I have paid my share of these types of expenditures to avoid the atomic bomb that would go off if I were to contest ex. It keeps the peace and to date the expenses have been reasonable.

                But most importantly, there are good chances that without my contribution my ex would not sign up for these types of things at all, and then the kids would suffer.
                Agreed and doing the same. No contribution from the other side. And as you said, if I stop, the child would suffer...

                Comment

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