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  • Originally posted by 1ati2de View Post
    Well with my experience it was from what I see and been told by my child.


    My nephew tells people mommy is always working and daddy sits in the hot tub. Kids aren't always the greatest witness to what is going on.

    If you are already bitter about paying cs/ss then you see/hear what you want to.

    Like I said before, despite not paying ss (which he was eligible for) my partners ex continues to tell everyone how horrible it was that she was ordered to pay him half the value of their assets. Her bitterness has clouded her idea of whats fair.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
      See this is always the typical response... wife stays home but husband says all she did was watch soaps all day... he fails to mention the clean house he came home to, how he dodged all his responsibilities for his children, home cooked meals, he was able to advance his career because he didn't have to take care of his children or make dinner or do his own laundry or clean his own house. Real tough life he has, his only responsibility is work and then he gets to go home and relax while his wife continues to work until the children are in bed.
      Like most comments are one sided I can say I lived it! The house was never cleaned properly, home cooked meals were maybe once a week, takeout was delivered and Swanson and mac&cheese her friend. Never ran errands as she did not want to drive and yes believe it or not soaps and Utube were her priority. She did do the wash once every 2 weeks so I should be grateful. So from 4:30 to 5:00+ I get to go play at work and have a easy life LOL! I guess I should be happy leaving the house for 12+hours a day to “support” my family and come home to do most of the work again. Why do we stay? For our kids, parents do what’s best for them and put our feelings aside.

      You work for a job for years and get fired the company pays a severance... sometimes this is lump sum and sometimes it's paid out on an on going basis. Maybe we should for go severance to since the worker had the benefit of a job for years so now they can just move on and find a new job and continue to be self sufficient
      On what plant? Sorry but severance is not automatically paid from an employer, seriously? I have been let go from one company as the bank closed it down, lost 2 weeks pay. The other company the owner decided to close down and I was guaranteed 8 weeks of work after the announcement. Believe it or not you can “work” for a company for 30+ years and let go with nothing in your pocket; this is what happens in the real world! Severance is not mandatory period. But family law states that it is for a spouse? Now how much of a joke is this eh? So average severance for say 30 years is 2 weeks or basically 1 year, yet our government states that the spouse in unemployable and so might be the worker of 30 years that did not acquire any skills but made good money. Yet the company will not pay for him to sit on his ass for life. Amazing !!

      Comment


      • Originally posted by rockscan View Post
        My nephew tells people mommy is always working and daddy sits in the hot tub. Kids aren't always the greatest witness to what is going on.
        He was 14 and a casual question after seeing it for years, when you are off work for three weeks you realise that the weekend is the 5 day work week at my house for my Ex

        If you are already bitter about paying cs/ss then you see/hear what you want to.
        Im done and over with it, has no effect on me but with other people is an issue that needs to be fixed.

        Like I said before, despite not paying ss (which he was eligible for) my partners ex continues to tell everyone how horrible it was that she was ordered to pay him half the value of their assets. Her bitterness has clouded her idea of whats fair.
        I believe the assets in the marriage should be divided 50/50. Not what was brought into the relationship.

        Comment


        • Let’s add more evidence of why you actually think SS is mandatory and Ill add in a little realty check into it, please add into the reality as one sees fit please.

          Man and woman meets and get married, both at the age of 20. Man finds a job that pays well and works for a company that has great pay, benefits and on the job training, not much skill set that can be used in any other job. The woman stays home to have a have a family and raise the kids.

          30 years go by and they both end the 30 year relationship, so let’s look at “working” vs “housewife”, same outcome as both are terminated after 30 years of service.

          Working.

          - 30 years of service for a company
          - Never late, worked all the hours one could.
          - Made the company lots of money.
          - Liked his job and good employee.

          Terminated after 30 years of working.

          - 50 years of age, not many skills to offer as it was a repetitive job.
          - Good case might get 4 weeks’ severance per year, 120 weeks of severance possible.
          - Bad scenario is nothing can be offered $0.
          - Go in the workforce at 50 years of age and look to start a career again.
          - Most likely will have a hard time finding employment and will not make the same wage.
          - Stressed and has to support his lifestyle.

          Marriage.
          - 30 years of dedication to my spouse and family.
          - Enjoyed the good and the bad.
          - Took care of the house and raised the family as my spouse worked.
          - Love my family.

          Divorcing after 30 years of marriage.

          - 50 years of age, not many skills to offer as I was a housewife.
          - 30+50 years of age, YES I’m getting paid for life! Ya baby!
          - I get half plus money to live! Mo money, mo money, mo money!
          - I can sit on my ass the rest of my life and get paid baby!
          - I refuse to work and the judge/lawyers are going to agree!
          - No stress here as I’m getting paid baby!

          Comment


          • This system needs work!!

            I think you should also add up some of the actual and assumed costs of one spouse staying home too. Also acknowledge that a lot of these long term awards have happened in the last ten years for marriages of 25 years or more.

            Issue two means that many of these spouses made the decision to have one spouse stay home around 1990 or so when the world was still embracing one spouse not working. In todays economy both spouses have to work BUT one spouse will have to shoulder the burden of dealing with the kids. That isnt just the maternity leave aspect, thats the kids being sick, needing a parent at school or activities or being available to arrive late/leave early to get the to/from daycare. Its not just a year off, it at least 12 years of accommodating for children.

            To go back to the first issue, there are a number of costs that are incurred with two working parents. These include daycare (upwards of $300 per week depending on where you live), transportation to and from work, lunches/take meals for dinner and gas going back and forth. There are a lot of costs that two working parents incur and these are somewhat offset by one parent being at home.

            Yes there are exceptions to the rule which is why the courts are trying to do something about it. If your ex's were awarded high and long ss decisions there was obviously some element of judgement in it. And if not then your ex must have had a really good lawyer who could argue need/reason.

            I look at my career and my spouse's career vs my siblings situations. My spouse got married and had children. He had twenty years "out" of the workplace which impacted his earning potential. I have worked for 15 years with no kids or time away from work therefore I have a higher earning potential. His 20 years out of work helped his ex build her career and advance in her field. For my siblings, their spouses were on time served performance so they were able to work hours to advance whereas the others were at home and working limited hours in semi-dead end jobs to help support their spouses.

            I always thought that ss was determined case by case against some elements of the law and that many applicants had to demonstrate that they deserve it. Am I wrong?
            Last edited by rockscan; 09-20-2017, 03:26 PM.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by rockscan View Post

              I always thought that ss was determined case by case against some elements of the law and that many applicants had to demonstrate that they deserve it. Am I wrong?
              WRONG! Its a way to get free money and almost always awarded in a similar situation as I put down. The "working" person gets screwed and the poor stay at home person gets paid. Reality and proven!

              Comment


              • Originally posted by 1ati2de View Post
                Let’s add more evidence of why you actually think SS is mandatory and Ill add in a little realty check into it, please add into the reality as one sees fit please.

                Man and woman meets and get married, both at the age of 20. Man finds a job that pays well and works for a company that has great pay, benefits and on the job training, not much skill set that can be used in any other job. The woman stays home to have a have a family and raise the kids.

                30 years go by and they both end the 30 year relationship, so let’s look at “working” vs “housewife”, same outcome as both are terminated after 30 years of service.

                Working.

                - 30 years of service for a company
                - Never late, worked all the hours one could.
                - Made the company lots of money.
                - Liked his job and good employee.

                Terminated after 30 years of working.

                - 50 years of age, not many skills to offer as it was a repetitive job.
                - Good case might get 4 weeks’ severance per year, 120 weeks of severance possible.
                - Bad scenario is nothing can be offered $0.
                - Go in the workforce at 50 years of age and look to start a career again.
                - Most likely will have a hard time finding employment and will not make the same wage.
                - Stressed and has to support his lifestyle.

                Marriage.
                - 30 years of dedication to my spouse and family.
                - Enjoyed the good and the bad.
                - Took care of the house and raised the family as my spouse worked.
                - Love my family.

                Divorcing after 30 years of marriage.

                - 50 years of age, not many skills to offer as I was a housewife.
                - 30+50 years of age, YES I’m getting paid for life! Ya baby!
                - I get half plus money to live! Mo money, mo money, mo money!
                - I can sit on my ass the rest of my life and get paid baby!
                - I refuse to work and the judge/lawyers are going to agree!
                - No stress here as I’m getting paid baby!
                If your wife is 50 years old then she is not too old to retrain and reenter the workforce. Sure she is entitled to indefinite SS due the the "rule of 65" however if your circumstances are that of one who doesn't make much money then she may be entitled to indefinite nominal amount of money. If your wife has medical issues then that is an entirely different thing. Properly argued, the court would weight whether or not she can become self-sufficient... how much you earn.... how much equalization she receives... share of your pension and 30 years of savings. The whole idea is to equalize the two people. If your ex will never be able to make more than minimum wage then that income (minimum wage) is taken away from your average earnings over the past 3 -5 years. You can sweeten the deal by offering lump-sum and ending SS. There are many options, depending upon your circumstances.

                At 50 you are hardly too old to find another job, particularly if the one you performed for 30 years required "repetitive" skills. At least you have work experience. Your wife, on the other hand, has none.

                You are actually in a good position as you are unemployed correct? You will be grilled about, and expected to, prove you are actively looking for work. However, your wife has no "security for life" with someone in your situation. You have confidence and ability to make money. She does not. I think I'd prefer to be in your situation.

                BTW - I do sympathize with your situation. But remember that whatever your wife receives will not be "free" money - she will have to pay dearly for it and should she find employment she will find herself in a situation where she has to pay plenty of tax on the money she receives from you. I hope she has a good financial adviser. Why should you care? Because her lawyer and the court will care and that, my friend, is where you will find yourself.... she very well could make more on paper than you do because the tax situation will be taken into consideration, particularly if/when she returns to work. If you have a competent lawyer this would be explained to you.
                Last edited by arabian; 09-20-2017, 06:33 PM.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by 1ati2de View Post

                  30 years go by and they both end the 30 year relationship, so let’s look at “working” vs “housewife”, same outcome as both are terminated after 30 years of service.

                  Working.

                  - 30 years of service for a company
                  - Never late, worked all the hours one could.
                  - Made the company lots of money.
                  - Liked his job and good employee.

                  Terminated after 30 years of working.

                  - 50 years of age, not many skills to offer as it was a repetitive job.
                  - Good case might get 4 weeks’ severance per year, 120 weeks of severance possible.
                  - Bad scenario is nothing can be offered $0.
                  - Go in the workforce at 50 years of age and look to start a career again.
                  - Most likely will have a hard time finding employment and will not make the same wage.
                  - Stressed and has to support his lifestyle.

                  Marriage.
                  - 30 years of dedication to my spouse and family.
                  - Enjoyed the good and the bad.
                  - Took care of the house and raised the family as my spouse worked.
                  - Love my family.

                  Divorcing after 30 years of marriage.

                  - 50 years of age, not many skills to offer as I was a housewife.
                  - 30+50 years of age, YES I’m getting paid for life! Ya baby!
                  - I get half plus money to live! Mo money, mo money, mo money!
                  - I can sit on my ass the rest of my life and get paid baby!
                  - I refuse to work and the judge/lawyers are going to agree!
                  - No stress here as I’m getting paid baby!


                  What I am discussing here is what happens in the real world on both sides as we are viewing them as jobs/careers. Simple comparison:

                  “30 years working” vs “30 years housewife”

                  Still waiting for all the leaches to jump on this one yet still have not heard anything yet? Shocker!

                  I have stated the 2 scenarios of what happens in the working community, I have had friends at Stelco, Zellers, RBC and numerous small companies like a VHS movie manufacturing company. Many of the people working at these companies have never had the opportunity to acquire modern skills that are needed today. Ran outdated equipment, never advanced with technology, thought they could retire and did many repetitious jobs day in and day out. Very difficult to find any good paying job at 50 period, outdated/ repetitive experiences is not required today and don’t pay any decent wage.

                  However apparently the women here have stated lots of experience from what I read, you have stated your job is hard and I agree, so far your skills/job are as follows;

                  - Cooking
                  - Cleaning
                  - Run errands.
                  - Part time teaching assistant.
                  - Laundry

                  Well these are jobs that people do today for a living and get paid for and the spouce gets to leach off the other spouse. However the person that packed cartons, placed bolts on an assembly line, did a mediocre job for 30 gets nothing.

                  So why in both careers does the dickhead need to pay the bimbo for the rest of his life? What is acceptable about this? Both worked a job for 30 years, PROVEN they “both” are not going to find a good paying job with the experience they have. This happens all the time in ones career yet people find a way to support themselves.

                  Comment


                  • You made a choice to stay with someone who insisted on staying at home. You stayed for 20 years. You were complacent in this. You got yourself into this mess. If you had been married for say five years and left when the kids started school and she still refused to work and then were ordered to pay thousands a month for the rest of her life maybe I would feel sympathetic but you got the result you did because you were married for 20 years to someone who didnt go to work.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                      You made a choice to stay with someone who insisted on staying at home. You stayed for 20 years. You were complacent in this. You got yourself into this mess. If you had been married for say five years and left when the kids started school and she still refused to work and then were ordered to pay thousands a month for the rest of her life maybe I would feel sympathetic but you got the result you did because you were married for 20 years to someone who didnt go to work.
                      You are completely missing the point! Hundreds of thousands have people in this world have and will have changed their careers, had to actually “work” a different job, start over, look for means to support themselves and their families. These hard working people don’t get sympathy because they worked one job for years; they don’t another human being to pay for one also. They need to support themselves, nowhere in the working community it this evident.

                      If someone chooses to stay at home, that the choice they make. No one can force anyone to work! Now I can cry to a lawyer and make more money to stay home? No one and I mean NO one needs to support this behaviour period. Slavery is the exact same as SPOUSAL SUPPORT! This is why it needs to be eliminated period.

                      Personally I feel sorry for all these individuals that pay SS and more so the ones that get lifetime… yet never deserved it. It’s completely unethical and proves the scum of the earth can win and this is what needs to change. Don’t know what to do, venues to peruse, but would definitely support in any way I could to eliminate it.
                      Sorry for the rant!

                      Comment


                      • Simple answer to your question is ....................what was your hourly wage?

                        Can your ex get work earning same as your hourly wage or more?

                        You have "work experience" in workforce. She does not.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          Simple answer to your question is ....................what was your hourly wage?

                          Can your ex get work earning same as your hourly wage or more?

                          You have "work experience" in workforce. She does not.
                          Makes absolutely NO difference what so ever. I have hired people with no experience at all, they care, work hard, need to pay the bills and are dedicated. Sorry no hand outs here as I don't employee people looking at resumes.

                          My EX sat on her ass and had nothing to do with what I make LOL including having a 10 year career in a job that still exists today. My new wife makes the same money as me, in a similar industry and less experience. Imagine that! As stated before I have no SS payments and done with her.

                          Comment


                          • So you should have no problem whatsoever finding work.
                            If you don't pay your ex any money then what are you griping about? Was it a matter that she never requested any SS or did the court decide she was not entitled to receive SS and/or you had no ability to pay her?

                            So this time around you were more selective in choosing a mate. Perhaps she is younger than you and able to support you in your old age.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by arabian View Post
                              So you should have no problem whatsoever finding work.
                              No personally I should be fine. However my lawyer stated that in court the judge will say that she is the reason I have advances in my career. LMFAO! So I called Revenue Canada and got all my tax statements and graphed them. My average work increase and year to year and never had a spike in the duration, I sustained my career. Started my career at 15 so she had nothing to do with that and was in management prior to marriage. My lawyer was intrigued with this finding however stated that the judge still might rule against you even with what you provided. Absolute joke that the system thinks my spouse is the reason I sustained a job. LOL!

                              If you don't pay your ex any money then what are you griping about?
                              Spousal Support is a joke, it’s simply slavery for many people, misfits can easily get it and family law is above all laws. All, if not most women whine about my “job” I did for you and “your” child all these years. You owe me! Ok you got fired move on, your spouse/boss has terminated your employment. Yet for the years of service she is deemed unemployable? So would the person who serviced typewriter’s, made old rotary phones, manufactured newspapers, and worked assembly lines, worked on carburetors, on and on and on. These people’s skills are also deemed unemployable and yet have to seek employment, might apply for EI for 6 months and that’s it, however a spouse gets paid for life for her job? Seriously?

                              So this time around you were more selective in choosing a mate. Perhaps she is younger than you and able to support you in your old age.
                              Sorry, she is older than me. I was more selective and quality is more important than age.

                              Reason I started this thread is to look at starting changes in society on how divorce is viewed, look for some way possible to start the change. Spousal Support is the only free ride in society today, its slavery, against people’s rights, and clearly not respected or viewed the same in any other aspects in life.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by 1ati2de View Post
                                No personally I should be fine. However my lawyer stated that in court the judge will say that she is the reason I have advances in my career. LMFAO! So I called Revenue Canada and got all my tax statements and graphed them. My average work increase and year to year and never had a spike in the duration, I sustained my career. Started my career at 15 so she had nothing to do with that and was in management prior to marriage. My lawyer was intrigued with this finding however stated that the judge still might rule against you even with what you provided. Absolute joke that the system thinks my spouse is the reason I sustained a job. LOL!







                                Spousal Support is a joke, it’s simply slavery for many people, misfits can easily get it and family law is above all laws. All, if not most women whine about my “job” I did for you and “your” child all these years. You owe me! Ok you got fired move on, your spouse/boss has terminated your employment. Yet for the years of service she is deemed unemployable? So would the person who serviced typewriter’s, made old rotary phones, manufactured newspapers, and worked assembly lines, worked on carburetors, on and on and on. These people’s skills are also deemed unemployable and yet have to seek employment, might apply for EI for 6 months and that’s it, however a spouse gets paid for life for her job? Seriously?







                                Sorry, she is older than me. I was more selective and quality is more important than age.



                                Reason I started this thread is to look at starting changes in society on how divorce is viewed, look for some way possible to start the change. Spousal Support is the only free ride in society today, its slavery, against people’s rights, and clearly not respected or viewed the same in any other aspects in life.


                                Did you take parental leave or did she take all the leave?

                                Did you take time off work when the children were sick or did she take the time off?

                                Did you take the children to their medical appointments or did she take them?

                                Sorry but most men think they help out equally but the truth is they don't.

                                If she stayed home and did all this she did support your career. No one said you had to have a huge jump in income to show she supported you but the fact you didn't suffer any disadvantages in your career because she did what was required for the children is what SS would be based on.

                                I think the only thing that's going to change when/how spousal support is paid out is time. There are more two income families now a days than there were in the past. Most families can't afford for one spouse to stay home full time, so SS will be a none issue. But men also have to step up and make the change in their families. They are entitled to parental leave and they need to start taking it. You can't always blame the women when the men themselves don't have the balls to stand up to their wives.


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                                Comment

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