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Old 05-13-2011, 04:29 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
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Originally Posted by Heart-broken dad View Post
I have to make clear that I have NEVER used my children as pawns. The ex however.....

My eldest has confided to me and to the OCL that she wants to spend more time with me, but, doesn't know how to bring it up with her mom. In her own words "I'm afraid to get mom angry". This was over a year ago, and the OCL hasn't acted on it, but has it on file.

I have no intention of having her move in full time, as I live an hour away, and she would have to change schools, meet new friends, etc, etc. and I feel it would be too much for her to handle. But, if she's willing to increase the visits from bimonthly to weekly, I'd be happy.

She's very mature and understands the situation between me and her mom better than most people would think. I'm very apprehensive about bringing up the subject, and giving my ex and her lawyer fodder to bing to court.
My solution would be for YOU to bring it up with the ex. State that the child has expressed interest to you about spending more time at your residence and are looking to work with her to find a workable solution.

Maybe suggest speaking together at a meeting with a neutral 3rd party (a counsellor for instance), to discuss what can be done that will take into consideration your daughters wishes and ensuring that it isn't anyones intentions for this to bea change in custody.

But I think it is on you to step up and take on the grunt work here. Try and keep your daughter out of it as much as possible, as you are probably going to PO mom and have to take some abuse for the team.