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Old 04-14-2010, 10:12 PM
Stressed by Ex Stressed by Ex is offline
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Default Spousal Support - help me understand please!

Please help. Need answers and please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not looking for somone to share their own story. Need advice based on my facts.

Married 16 years - we're both in our mid-40's
Separated 3.5 years ago. Current status = divorced
3 teenage kids
my income $90K, his income $48K
I have sole custody. Custody is not an issue for him. Money is!!!

Ex claims he has an automatic entitlement to Spousal Support. He did not sacrifice his career to raise our children. We both always worked full time. Kids in daycare immediately following my 6 month mat leaves. Majority of jobs he's had have been working evenings and weekends, so I've been a single mom for years during our marriage. He chose these shifts because they suited him, he could have worked days.

He doesn't pay Child Support even though ordered to do so. Have filed with FRO and don't need help on that issue.

He states he doesn't have to pay child support until the Spousal Support entitlement is factored in. I refuse to pay him spousal support because I can't afford to pay. I have accumulated $60K in legal debt and have already spent 3 years in and out of court. Long story - not relevant to my question. He continues to threaten me with Trial and we have a pre exit Trial conference scheduled for next month.

Assuming he's entitled, what would he get and for how long.

I am confident I will be part of that 2% that will actually go to trial. My ex is adamant about that.

If any of this is sounding familiar, my original post got closed. I'm new and don't know why my post got closed so I started a new one.

Tired of fighting and want a clean break. He and I will never have any kind of relationship or communication. Not bitter, just stating a fact that is his choice. By the way, if anyone's wondering, I didn't leave him or cheat on him. He's angry and on a mission to destroy me - emotionally and financially. No I'm not paranoid. I have been repeatedly threatened for 3.5 years. Dragging me through endless Case Conferences, settlement conferences, motion hearings, etc. just to break me.

Please help me understand the $ and entitlement. I can't believe it's automatic. He should be paying me $925 in child support and refuses to do so. Just to end this madness, I have agreed to $0 in child support and I agreed to that 3.5 years ago to keep the peace which was before I accumulated $60K in legal debt because he and his lawyer have been dragging this out. Easy to do if you're dealing with NewMarket Court in Ontario. What a mess that place is. 3.5 years, 12 different judges, numerous adjournments and I'm not special. Simply one of the statistics. Been told that many many times.

By the way, he knows I'm completely broke now and can't afford a Trial. I'm barely making ends meet, supporting my kids entirely on my own. If I didn't have the legal debt, I'd be ok on my own.