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Old 03-03-2014, 03:34 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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He had done all that stuff already though. He had access, progressed to overnights, and then his ex suddenly changed her mind and now he's unsure what to do. He said it happened after she got a lawyer. The question is, why did she get a lawyer? Did she just want to formalize things, and the lawyer suggested she should play hardball? Did something happen that made her think a psychiatric evaluation would be necessary? What are her renewed concerns you glossed over?

If it's all just her suddenly being restrictive for no reason, I would send a letter that you do not agree with supervised access being necessary again after you had already progressed to unsupervised overnights. Should she feel a psychiatric evaluation is necessary, you would be happy to comply, but as you don't feel it is necessary, it should be at her expense. Meanwhile, as overnights had previously been approved and gone without incident, they should resume as soon as possible.

If something did happen, well, you're going to have to do the hoop-jumping again while you re-stablize yourself.

Your ex will present what proof she has that you are unstable and a danger to the child. If she has errors in her proof, you point them out.

You will present the previous history of overnight visits, the reasons for her renewed concern and your view on how valid (or BS) they are, and what steps you have taken to address them. Get a note from your psychiatrist that you are stable and not a danger to the child, if you can.

People with addiction have a lifelong battle, and it isn't helped by an ex who only remembers you at your worst and doesn't believe it's possible for you to change. Demonstrate that your dedication to your child motivates your sobriety, show proof of the things you have done since separation to address your issues and strengthen your resolve, and dispute her view that you cannot be a good father because of your past.

PS If you are going for 50-50, it should be with offset CS, not full table. Otherwise it just looks like buying/selling access.
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