I posted earlier - she removed a total of $5300 and today I asked three seperate times for her to replace the funds or provide the receipts/accounting of the transactions - with her third denial I had an electronic transfer setup, ready to go so with the press of the enter key the remaining $700 was transfered to my personal account. SHe has played by her own rules - she has changed her rules as it suited her to the point of....... well we never had a valid agreement - a post seperation agreement that basically saw us doing the status quo, paying the bills, buffering the kids from all this crap (which I guess is all HER crap!). I think in the end it will be her loss as if this pans out to go by incomes - she gets 80% of the bills and I get the remaining 20% (it was going as a 50/50 deal but that time is over).
I have spoken to one lawyer several times and I am going to speak with several more as strongly suggested to me - and I think the advice is sound as it does look like it is going to cost a pretty penny no matter what and it deserves the effort to find the "best" representation.
Can anyone answer some basic worries as to possibly what my future may look like in terms of the following:
(I really do assume that at this point going forward that she has proven to be in her own world of denial, lies and more so that based on the first five months there will only be resolution by court order - standing in front of a judge)
-Divorce says applicable assets are divided 50/50 (as in the Family Law Act)
-There is now going to be a time between the valuation date and the first court order --- one way or another the bills will have to get paid - if I want to keep my good credit rating i will need to make sure the bills do get paid on time. If she does not pay her share would there be any restitution when the equalization payment is made? Keeping this simple is it fair to say that a decision would take all the bills paid and then use the ratio of our incomes to come up with the final accounting? (she earns 80% to my 20% of the total - using the aftertax dollars she has 35k to my 8k on my CPP disability)
After the bills issue (the food, utilities, taxes and al.)
The next thing that I am worried about is the benefits which she controls because it is her employer afterall!
-I admit to having a pretty heavy depedance on the her benefits to the tune of at least $500 monthly. She has full discretion on what she would do..... cut her spouse off her benefits tomorrow or perhaps hold them over my head for the next 18 months. I read some case law on CANLII that when a court is ruling things like benefits are in a way mandated so that as in my case there could be a ruling that basically states that as long as the employer will allow benefits to continue the payor shall not remove the payee from his or her benefit plan or should the payor choose to remove the benefits the payor shall then assume the full costs of said benefits. This was a long way of saying that she would "not be able to" remove the benefits.
Yes I know I could cash in my RRSP's to maintain my monthly perscriptions but one, two, three years can be really expensive - paramount to a type of extortion to force an unfair contractual settlement...... I would like nothing better than to get an amical, quick and fair agreement but should I choose to attempt to preserve my right to retain the benefits awarded me for many years of pain, surgeries - now at eight and counting, and although not related to money at all - the lost oportunities, both past and future....... with respect to my children. As we all know - or if not yet convinced there really is no winners in divorce.
I am sure there is so much more I could put in this post and more but perhaps someone may lessen the fears that have been unleashed by a few actions - up to now had only been suspicion but now to find that yes my wost fears are beginning to materialize - deciept, lies, playing our children against their father - and me - I really do not have much of a choice because there really is no alternate to my successful resolution of what may just be the most important fight of my life.............
If some wisdom can be offered to help while I continue to finalize our finances, find good representation that will hopefully prevent much needless spite and hurt on all sides. I just sat here staring at this last few words for a long time now........... how did we end up so far apart? Where did so much hate come from? Again thanks to all......
I have spoken to one lawyer several times and I am going to speak with several more as strongly suggested to me - and I think the advice is sound as it does look like it is going to cost a pretty penny no matter what and it deserves the effort to find the "best" representation.
Can anyone answer some basic worries as to possibly what my future may look like in terms of the following:
(I really do assume that at this point going forward that she has proven to be in her own world of denial, lies and more so that based on the first five months there will only be resolution by court order - standing in front of a judge)
-Divorce says applicable assets are divided 50/50 (as in the Family Law Act)
-There is now going to be a time between the valuation date and the first court order --- one way or another the bills will have to get paid - if I want to keep my good credit rating i will need to make sure the bills do get paid on time. If she does not pay her share would there be any restitution when the equalization payment is made? Keeping this simple is it fair to say that a decision would take all the bills paid and then use the ratio of our incomes to come up with the final accounting? (she earns 80% to my 20% of the total - using the aftertax dollars she has 35k to my 8k on my CPP disability)
After the bills issue (the food, utilities, taxes and al.)
The next thing that I am worried about is the benefits which she controls because it is her employer afterall!
-I admit to having a pretty heavy depedance on the her benefits to the tune of at least $500 monthly. She has full discretion on what she would do..... cut her spouse off her benefits tomorrow or perhaps hold them over my head for the next 18 months. I read some case law on CANLII that when a court is ruling things like benefits are in a way mandated so that as in my case there could be a ruling that basically states that as long as the employer will allow benefits to continue the payor shall not remove the payee from his or her benefit plan or should the payor choose to remove the benefits the payor shall then assume the full costs of said benefits. This was a long way of saying that she would "not be able to" remove the benefits.
Yes I know I could cash in my RRSP's to maintain my monthly perscriptions but one, two, three years can be really expensive - paramount to a type of extortion to force an unfair contractual settlement...... I would like nothing better than to get an amical, quick and fair agreement but should I choose to attempt to preserve my right to retain the benefits awarded me for many years of pain, surgeries - now at eight and counting, and although not related to money at all - the lost oportunities, both past and future....... with respect to my children. As we all know - or if not yet convinced there really is no winners in divorce.
I am sure there is so much more I could put in this post and more but perhaps someone may lessen the fears that have been unleashed by a few actions - up to now had only been suspicion but now to find that yes my wost fears are beginning to materialize - deciept, lies, playing our children against their father - and me - I really do not have much of a choice because there really is no alternate to my successful resolution of what may just be the most important fight of my life.............
If some wisdom can be offered to help while I continue to finalize our finances, find good representation that will hopefully prevent much needless spite and hurt on all sides. I just sat here staring at this last few words for a long time now........... how did we end up so far apart? Where did so much hate come from? Again thanks to all......
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