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Does filing your agreement/order with FRO ramp up conflict?

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  • Does filing your agreement/order with FRO ramp up conflict?

    I've read the other threads about the pros/cons about FRO. I see that it's all pros for the support recipient for the most part.

    But is it THAT much of a con for the payor?

    I'm trying to de-escalate the conflict with my ex. And he does NOT want to go through FRO. He's been paying his CS on time. But pretty much refuses section 7s. Our agreement clearly sets out section 7 obligations. So they can collect those- when I provide the receipts. (yes- I've already provided them to him).

    To register or not to register....that is the question.

  • #2
    Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
    I've read the other threads about the pros/cons about FRO. I see that it's all pros for the support recipient for the most part.



    But is it THAT much of a con for the payor?



    I'm trying to de-escalate the conflict with my ex. And he does NOT want to go through FRO. He's been paying his CS on time. But pretty much refuses section 7s. Our agreement clearly sets out section 7 obligations. So they can collect those- when I provide the receipts. (yes- I've already provided them to him).



    To register or not to register....that is the question.


    Fro not enforcing my Sect 7 receipts is what started my nightmare. And then a lawyer telling me I should bring motion to change to enforce.

    Does your order specify a specific dollar amount for each claim? And both of your incomes in the order? If not... good luck having fro endorse it. And sadly... you can’t tell if Fro will enforce until you start the registration package and then file the arrears statement with your order.

    I have a letter from them stating what my agreement needs to say...
    A specific percentage and both parties incomes...


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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    • #3
      Use the KISS principle. Keep it simple stupid. Let him know that if he does not pay the court ordered s7 by x date you will file with FRO. Then do it. He is escalating the conflict not you by not complying with a court order. He has other remedies available to him such as going to court to dispute or appeal the s7’s. Not complying with a court order is not an option he has. Don’t make it your problem. Hand the problem to FRO.
      Stop engaging with your ex. It’s not your job to reason with an unreasonable person. Registering with FRO will take a big burden off of your shoulders.

      Comment


      • #4
        Here’s the rub—FRO is mildly inconsistent and does whatever they feel like. It varies from case to case. There is good and bad for everyone.

        My husband’s ex filed with FRO and then filed a statement of arrears. FRO was a shit show since a) the CS amount was wrong the entire duration of support and b) he had to jump through hoops to dispute it.

        I know someone else whose ex filed arrears which were not even close to being section 7 and they enforced it and he is now trying to fight it.

        When my husband’s new order comes in he wants FRO enforcement.

        You guys just reached an agreement, why is your ex being a dick? I would send him a message advising him that if he doesn’t pay the section 7 expenses he agreed to and that are legally obligated (daycare) then you will file with FRO for garnishment of his wages. The shame of having his company know may compel him to start paying.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by rockscan View Post

          You guys just reached an agreement, why is your ex being a dick? I would send him a message advising him that if he doesn’t pay the section 7 expenses he agreed to and that are legally obligated (daycare) then you will file with FRO for garnishment of his wages. The shame of having his company know may compel him to start paying.
          He doesn't want to pay her swimming lessons from summer. Our agreement says section 7s start commencing September 1. Cool. Don't pay summer- but he doesn't want to pay her uniform expenses and fall swimming because I prepaid for those. He's not slick- I knew this is EXACTLY what he was going to do. He's going to nickel and dime me every step of the way. I knew I wouldn't be able to recover arrears. But I also put in our agreement that section 7 activities are on an annual basis. So since the swimming lessons STARTED after sept. 1 and the uniform is for school AFTER sept 1. I could get FRO to try to enforce those by sending annual receipts. But UGH.

          He doesn't want it to go to FRO because he thinks they'll go straight to garnishment, he doesn't realize he can just pay it like a bill from his account. I wonder if FRO wouldn't just be easier since it's the fact that he has to pay *me* that he hates. Maybe if he just paid to FRO directly, it would actually be less conflict?

          Comment


          • #6
            It may be after the initial shock. He has 30 days I believe to set up an agreement to pay with FRO. May be less for an actual order. Actually I thought all court orders are automatically sent with a support deduction order and the you have to opt out?

            I know my ex had 35 days. Because it was SA.. he ignored it. They garnished on the 36th day. I had to of course stay in top of fro or nothing gets done.


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            • #7
              Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
              Does your order specify a specific dollar amount for each claim? And both of your incomes in the order? If not... good luck having fro endorse it. And sadly... you can’t tell if Fro will enforce until you start the registration package and then file the arrears statement with your order.
              Our agreement reads,

              XX. Commencing September 1, 2019, the Applicant shall pay 40% of the D3's special or extraordinary expenses, which expenses include:
              (a) D3's Montessori school tuition for the school years of 2019-2020, 2020-2021 and 2021-2022; including school uniforms, lunches, school trips, March Break and summer camp;
              (b) two extra-curricular activities, the annual of costs of both activities not to exceed $2,000 per year;
              (c) D3's nonprescription medicated creams as recommended by her pediatric dermatologist;
              (d) D3's non-insured medical and dental expenses;
              (e) D3's before and after school care

              Section 7 expenses, aside from those listed above, must be on consent.

              It goes on to say how section 7s should be calculated. And how they should be paid (to the service provider if possible, if not- it sets out the timeline of payment), etc etc etc...

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              • #8
                When I get home... I will screen shot what fro sent me. I highly doubt they will enforce any of that. ;-(. Won’t hurt to try though


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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                  When I get home... I will screen shot what fro sent me. I highly doubt they will enforce any of that. ;-(. Won’t hurt to try though


                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                  If they don't. I'm not terribly worried about it. Am I going to fight about a couple of hundred of bucks right now? No.

                  Next year- and if arrears pile up. Yes.

                  I just wonder if I should just register it and be done. Or will it seem like I'm trying to stick it to him? I'm not. I just find it annoying dealing with him.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Stillbreathing View Post
                    Use the KISS principle. Keep it simple stupid. Let him know that if he does not pay the court ordered s7 by x date you will file with FRO. Then do it. He is escalating the conflict not you by not complying with a court order. He has other remedies available to him such as going to court to dispute or appeal the s7’s. Not complying with a court order is not an option he has. Don’t make it your problem. Hand the problem to FRO.
                    Stop engaging with your ex. It’s not your job to reason with an unreasonable person. Registering with FRO will take a big burden off of your shoulders.
                    Yeah, there are those boundary things again.

                    I will ask him to pay within the timeline to our agreement. Which is 10 business days. So two weeks.

                    If he doesn't, I'll just file the whole thing.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I would file it!! My ex paid his cs somewhat on time. I would have to ask him for it at each drop off. If I didn’t ask. I didn’t receive. I always waited till kids were in the car. And he would just stand there awkwardly trying to talk. Then when gf came around it started by e trfr. But again sporadic. My agreement says weekly amount.

                      He tried to all of a sudden start paying monthly. But didn’t know how to calculate weekly x 52 weeks/12 months. So he started to short pay cs. That’s when I had enough. And sent it to fro. I was scared. All the horrible stories I heard. But best thing I ever did. Once you file remember to not accept any money from him as it messes up the date of collection. I sent my package registered mail so I know it got there. And there was two weeks overlap if which I had to inform fro of.

                      But after about 2 months my support comes every Monday like clockwork.


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                      • #12
                        You gave him an opportunity to be reasonable and he refuses so file the order. When he bitches you simply state “I gave you the opportunity to pay me directly, you refused. This is your problem now.”

                        You can submit a statement of arrears to FRO with the calculation of the expenses clearly written on it.

                        Might smarten him up. Husband was up in arms when he got the letter but now he realizes she has to wait for the money to be processed so he is all for it!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          MEP/FRO can be quite useful if someone has arrears. To my surprise I received a few thousand dollars deposited into my account that I was not expecting. This is not the monthly payment that I always receive. I have no idea where it originated from, just that MEP obtained the money on my behalf. This has happened before.

                          Envision a future were the person who owes you money has to wine and bitch and negotiate with FRO instead of you.

                          I don't understand why everyone doesn't go through FRO. Removes a lot of drama.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Your agreement looks well laid out for the section 7 expenses, including the specific things. Worth a try with FRO. (People have said if it is by % and not dollar amounts they have had no luck though)

                            FRO has Pros and Cons. They are notorious for making mistakes, not following things correctly, can take months to get corrected. But it is nice not having to deal with your ex for!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
                              Our agreement reads,

                              XX. Commencing September 1, 2019, the Applicant shall pay 40% of the D3's special or extraordinary expenses, which expenses include:
                              (a) D3's Montessori school tuition for the school years of 2019-2020, 2020-2021 and 2021-2022; including school uniforms, lunches, school trips, March Break and summer camp;
                              (b) two extra-curricular activities, the annual of costs of both activities not to exceed $2,000 per year;
                              (c) D3's nonprescription medicated creams as recommended by her pediatric dermatologist;
                              (d) D3's non-insured medical and dental expenses;
                              (e) D3's before and after school care

                              Section 7 expenses, aside from those listed above, must be on consent.

                              It goes on to say how section 7s should be calculated. And how they should be paid (to the service provider if possible, if not- it sets out the timeline of payment), etc etc etc...

                              Who came up with this part of your agreement? Was this actually ordered by a judge, or was this just some agreement both of you consented to, and signed off on (and filed)? I'm guessing the latter. I can't see FRO being able to enforce some of this, especially if you have wording about "paying to the service provider", and not having dollar amounts for some.



                              Some of this is *not* section 7, despite phrasing it as such.


                              ex.

                              (a) D3's Montessori school tuition for the school years of 2019-2020, 2020-2021 and 2021-2022; including school uniforms, lunches, school trips, March Break and summer camp;


                              school tuition for Montessori school - yes, section 7


                              uniform - doubtful - maybe, maybe not depending on costs of required uniforms, and your respective incomes.



                              lunches - Adhoc daily lunches like every parent has to provide their kid? No. Are you forced to subscribe to some food program at the school cost? Then maybe.



                              school trips - cost? Probably not. Local field trips for a few dollars. No.

                              School camp across the country, for some special educational retreat - maybe yes then. End of year big travel trip or camp - maybe?



                              (b) two extra-curricular activities, the annual of costs of both activities not to exceed $2,000 per year;



                              Maybe, depending on the costs of such activities, and given what both of your incomes are. Capped at 2,000 a year, so I'm guessing average or lower incomes. If you were both pulling in excess of 100,000 a year, I would say no. Swimming lessons? Learn how to swim lessons? No. Your kid is training in competitive swimming, and has swim meets, etc. Maybe.



                              (c) D3's nonprescription medicated creams as recommended by her pediatric dermatologist;



                              - they aren't prescription. So not technically section 7.


                              (d) D3's non-insured medical and dental expenses;

                              Yes.

                              (e) D3's before and after school care

                              If required for parents to work/be employed, yes.


                              Good luck on collecting either way. I think I would choose to use FRO as well, if I had an uncooperative other parent, who was required to pay, and was not. Make it someone else's headache for the most part.

                              Comment

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