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Inheritance - 2 questions

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  • #16
    I would get financial advice. Fact that money was shifted around from one person to another, documented on income tax return, might raise valid questions down the road....

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    • #17
      Thanks for your help folks.
      I have a feeling this is going to get complicated really fast. There are other things going on I had no idea about (she has a SO on the side... but I have yet to get any backable proof on it). This might work in my favor, as she might feel pressure to wrap things up quickly to jump into this other relationship.

      I'm still shocked after almost 24 years I could be so blind to miss this coming. It seems like this happens a lot.

      I will seek out financial and legal advice.... and hope that I can salvage as much as I can.

      I will post back once I know the resolution (good or bad).

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      • #18
        Originally posted by in_time View Post
        Thanks for your help folks.
        I have a feeling this is going to get complicated really fast. There are other things going on I had no idea about (she has a SO on the side... but I have yet to get any backable proof on it). This might work in my favor, as she might feel pressure to wrap things up quickly to jump into this other relationship.

        I'm still shocked after almost 24 years I could be so blind to miss this coming. It seems like this happens a lot.

        I will seek out financial and legal advice.... and hope that I can salvage as much as I can.

        I will post back once I know the resolution (good or bad).

        It haappens more than you can shake a stick at. You say 24, try 30 plus years for some people. There are more people having affairs on the down low either through office romance or online whilst still married to a person they are bored with

        Some have figured that if they drag out the length of the cohabit, it works out in their favour for any potential spousal support, before they move on the next...IT (game of tag)

        People these days just don't want to spend "the rest of their lives" with teh same person, contrary to what you might hear or read...there is always a whole bunch of things that pop up later, that you then want to change.

        Imagine a "home buddy" and an adventurous type getting together for cuteness sake...you know it's only a matter of time before things go South. A simple let's go for a hike or bike ride, turns into an issue

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        • #19
          Originally posted by in_time View Post
          Thanks for your help folks.
          I have a feeling this is going to get complicated really fast. There are other things going on I had no idea about (she has a SO on the side... but I have yet to get any backable proof on it). This might work in my favor, as she might feel pressure to wrap things up quickly to jump into this other relationship.

          I'm still shocked after almost 24 years I could be so blind to miss this coming. It seems like this happens a lot.

          I will seek out financial and legal advice.... and hope that I can salvage as much as I can.

          I will post back once I know the resolution (good or bad).
          Just so you know the affair is completely irrelevant to the court.

          Just some advice from someone who spent $25k on lawyers (a low amount) you might want to consider very strongly settling even if it mean giving into some of her demands. If you go to court to "WIN" you with both lose. I had no choice in my case because the only offer I ever received from my ex was so out there that even in her best case scenario she would have never been awarded it in court.

          I'd be willing to give up $$$$ if it means settling out of court. Simple business decision.

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          • #20
            I find it interesting that more people don't consider binding arbitration. Much cheaper and faster than the typical trial route. I was married for 30 yrs, full business partner with ex and we were divorced within 9 months of when I kicked his ass to the wind.

            I suspect that many lawyers don't recommend it because a) they have little or no experience with it and b) if you have equity/assets in the marriage the lawyer has an eye to maximizing billable hours or c) parties can't agree on a thing including agreement to consider alternative forms of dispute resolution.

            Nice thing about binding arbitration is that it is private (not published on CanLii).

            Adultery (if either party agrees to admit it) lets you forego waiting period of one year to apply for a divorce.

            I think arbitration is a civilized way to end a marriage. No one testifies and whole matter can be done in a day or less, depending upon the complexity of your finances.

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            • #21
              There is nothing "civilized" about divorce especially where cheating, paying spousal support, and endless battering of he said / she said is concerned

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              • #22
                1. Pay spousal through FRO or maintenance enforcement.

                2. "he said, she said" is just hearsay and a waste of everyone's time and energy.

                3. Don't engage in useless communication. If you have kids communicate through Our Family Wizard.

                4. Cheating is cowards way of ending a relationship. It's over and done. You have no alternative but to accept what happened and either get counselling or move on with the divorce.

                Divorce is not a pleasant thing to go through. You can opt to manoeuvre through the process sensibly or you can be high conflict and lawyers and courts will gladly accommodate you - for a cost of course.

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