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  • #31
    Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
    I know it looks bad right now but believe me, divorce can be a blessing. There's no doubt that getting through the process is tough though.

    Is there any chance that you might be able to reduce expenses by just moving into a smaller house in the same area? I did that and it did help to keep the youngest in the same school and around the same friends.

    My advice...go step by step. Figure out the easiest way to split assets with the least involvement of lawyers. For instance, I've known people that have spent 40-50k to get 10k a year in termed SS. Sometimes its just easier to save your assets and make a reasonable settlement deal with your stbx.

    And take care of you...vent to friends, get lots of sleep, take walks, start planning your new life and think about what you might be gaining rather than what you might be losing. Best wishes.
    Thank you for the advice. I am trying to work through all this and determine the best option. I waver between trying to keep the house versus moving. I worry all the time. And just am not sure what to do in general. And know that if I keep it, there is an option to sell down the road and then hopefully be in a better mental position to handle a change. There is so much to figure out right now - house value (one that can be agreed upon), all our financials, contents of the house, how we schedule the kids (50/50 but what days), how we work together on this, what do we do for child care as we will now need it, etc.

    Is there anywhere anyone recommends to get info on all the things to cover when we start conversations? In the hopes to have as much agreed upon before getting lawyers involved?

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    • #32
      Separating and dividing up assets and liabilities is a big job.

      You have to start somewhere and both agree on the basics (value of assets for example). Get the home appraised. Gather up all bank statements, bills and make a list of everything. Lawyers will require this anyhow and the two of you can save a lot of money if you can get through the financials without choking each other/playing the blame game.

      Both of you to prepare financial statements. This would include business financial statements should one of you own a business.

      So you will come up with a few lists: 1. We have 2. We owe 3. We agree to sell.

      Of course it can get more complicated. The more complicated things are the more money the lawyers make off of you.

      I'd highly recommend that you seek advice from financial expert prior to you signing any legal document as you need to know the tax implications and often lawyers don't have a clue, nor do they care, about this.

      Tip: If you need to itemize the household contents simply go online to a moving company and they usually have lists you could utilize. Keep in mind that most people over-value content value. Be generous... until you want to puke. This will keep lawyers at bay and money in your pocket.

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by DivorceSucksCanada View Post
        house value (one that can be agreed upon)
        You don't really have to agree. But, you do have to spend money if you can't agree on a value. You each hire your own property assessor who does a report of what the home's value is on the date of separation. These are not real estate agents. General cost is between 700-1200 for one to be done. Generally, the two come within 2-3% of each other's estimates. Generally, you split the difference on the 2-3%.

        Your lawyer will have a professional they use all the time. Just hire them to determine the value of the home.

        Originally posted by DivorceSucksCanada View Post
        all our financials
        Generally easy to do if you are not in the 2+ million dollar club. 50-50 split.

        Originally posted by DivorceSucksCanada View Post
        contents of the house
        Generally, they are worth 0$ and minimally what they are worth on Kijiji. "Why are you here?!!! You can get a washer and dryer on Kijiji for 150$." -- The Honourable Madame Justice Mossip in a courthouse in Peel to a parent.

        Originally posted by DivorceSucksCanada View Post
        how we schedule the kids (50/50 but what days)
        2-2-5-5 access schedule is the best: http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...plained-13702/

        Originally posted by DivorceSucksCanada View Post
        how we work together on this, what do we do for child care as we will now need it, etc.
        Before and afterschool program when school is on. "Camps" when school is out. If you can't agree then figure it out for yourself and the other person for themselves. But, generally it isn't that hard...

        Originally posted by DivorceSucksCanada View Post
        Is there anywhere anyone recommends to get info on all the things to cover when we start conversations? In the hopes to have as much agreed upon before getting lawyers involved?
        Read this book: https://www.amazon.ca/Tug-War-Judge%.../dp/1550228706

        Good Luck!
        Tayken

        Comment


        • #34
          I’m currently trying to figure out what/whether there should be any SS paid from me to STBX. Initial planning of asset division CS and kids’ schedule (50/50, though there’s a common sentiment amongst friends and family that she will want less once she spends some time on her own with them. I choose not to believe that) has been very amicable.
          But she still wants more. Because we have 3 kids the CS is already significant and I read SSAG that when CS is already being paid, SS should be calculated such that recipient finishes with 40-46 of net income of payor. As is, she’ll be at 43% of my net income so I feel that’s a case to say that SS is not warranted. Anybody else have background on such a stance?
          She is legitimately nervous about future and money can provide security so I intend to offer some SS but only as a single lump sum.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by Futureisbright View Post
            the CS is already significant and I read SSAG that when CS is already being paid, SS should be calculated such that recipient finishes with 40-46 of net income of payor. As is, she’ll be at 43% of my net income so I feel that’s a case to say that SS is not warranted.
            Is this 40-46 of net income where the Percentage of NDI number comes from in DivorceMate? Trying to understand this for myself in general. And does it depend on a case by case basis in general? I did some reading in the SSAG document and sometimes they try to make the NDI to 50/50. I truly don't get how they determine this and if it is like throwing a dart at a dartboard sometimes?

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            • #36
              The 40-46% of Adjusted Net Income is for section 8.3 of SSAG as at

              *http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/f...f/SSAG_eng.pdf

              I calculated my net income (after taxes and paying CS and receiving CCB) and her net income (after taxes and receiving CS and CCB).

              Then I add those together and she is at 43% of the combined total. Is that fair or do need to get her to 50% if she shows entitlement- it’s a crapshoot as to whether she’d pass the entitlement test. Not to be discussed here, I prefer to stick to the math.

              Comment

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