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  • Busted.

    I wanted to give an update.

    We finally, after three months of no response, got a letter back from opposing counsel, whereby I assume they slipped by handing over documents that prove the ex's actual wage. She's been claiming $11.50 an hour at 35 hours a week, which would make her gross annual income $19,320. (JUST below her imputed income of $21,000).

    The real figures are in. Confirmed by both a credit application as well as her end-of-year paystub for 2012, she's making $14.00 an hour at 40 hours a week, making her income $26,880 a year - this isn't including her vacation payouts and overtime. She also has a second out-of-home job that earned her $1500 last year, as well as her business that she just proved she underclaimed income for because she just submitted another receipt for a consulatation she did that she neglected to hand over in the past. The credit application also listed $752 a month in child tax credits, making her yearly entitlement $9,024, and her real gross income $37,549 (for the sake of calculating spousal support). I assume she forgot about her lawyer's previous letter that understated her wage.

    She's still handed in no statements for 2012, but I believe we have ourselves a strong enough case to move forward and have support payments reduced. Like I've been saying all along, her entitlement BEFORE we got this information was supposed at be $623, in a combo of cs and ss, and she's currently getting $1500 - only because she initially claimed an income of $8000 a year. Not bad when you have a full-time wage, benefits from your job and remaining on your ex's, full child tax credits, a second job and $1500 a month from your ex... but at the same time, a very bad lie.

    I'm just reflecting on the outrageous demands she was making and the threats for costs... the constant accusations and the intimidating letters from her lawyer demanding up-to-date financials every month because they were convinced my partner made more this year. And they're right - he did... by about $200. We got the T4 the other day and fired it off to them before they had a chance to ask for it. His vacation payout that has caused him to have an increased salary for the last 5 years ends this year, and then his salary drops by about $5k, which they've been given a head's up about.

    I can't wait for the ball to drop. This isn't over yet, but I think we're closer to getting a signed settlement offer, or at the very least the reduced payments... and finally some peace in our lives.

    Good luck to everyone else on here dealing with the same horse shit.

  • #2
    The reason divorced people turn in their financials every year is to adjust support according to income. It is not unusual for someone to claim an income and then get another job or get a raise. Good for the mother. Sounds like she isn't a slacker and is doing what she can to support her family. If she wanted to hide the income she would have likely gotten a cash job somewhere.

    I don't believe this is a case of "busting" anyone. Income was disclosed. Recalculation will commense. Your glee is quite puzzling. We're talking about Child Support? Are you planning a trip or redecorating with the big windfall?

    Comment


    • #3
      It took her 10 months to hand it in and three months to respond to the last request for it, and she lied about her wage to benefit herself. Not sure what's hard to figure out here.

      I suppose I reserve the right to be as gleeful about a realistic reduction in support that allows us a better life as you do about collecting it forever from your ex.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by teezy View Post
        It took her 10 months to hand it in and three months to respond to the last request for it, and she lied about her wage to benefit herself. Not sure what's hard to figure out here.

        I suppose I reserve the right to be as gleeful about a realistic reduction in support that allows us a better life as you do about collecting it forever from your ex.
        You have every right to be happy. Its always nice to have proof postive when someone has been lying.

        Comment


        • #5
          My ex turns in his financials a year late at the instruction of his lawyer.
          It is so heartwarming to know that your "better life" comes at the expense of child support.

          You remind me of my ex's g/f.

          I was marred for 30 yrs and lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. I am not gleeful whatsoever.

          Wait until you are the "ex" and then you will understand how preposperous your sitiuation is.

          Comment


          • #6
            arabian are you trying to say that its okay for someone to lie? For someone to take money that doesnt belong to them?

            All of it would have been avoided if the ex would have exchanged financials like they are suppose to do. She did it to her benefit.

            Comment


            • #7
              Sometimes I really miss Tayken's insight on this forum.

              Teezy, your use of 'we' is the issue here I believe. This is your boyfriends battle. Yet you are fully immersed and at the forefront of it.

              It follows the lines of this;

              Definitions Related to High Conflict Personalities
              By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
              ©* 2007 High Conflict Institute


              Definitions Related to High Conflict Personalities

              Negative Advocate: This is the expression we use for anyone who advocates for a Blamer’s cognitive distortions and negative behavior in a court case. A comparable term is “enabler” for those who advocate for alcoholics’ and addicts’ negative behaviors and continued use of substances. Negative Advocates may include family members, friends, attorneys and even unwary mental health professionals. Negative Advocates often absorb the strong emotions of a Blamer and add to them in efforts to persuade other professionals and the courts that the Blamer is a victim and that the Target is to blame. Many Negative Advocates stop supporting the Blamer once the true facts of the case emerge, while some others (including some professionals) remain strong Negative Advocates despite mounting evidence that the Blamer has misperceived events or purposely engaged in abusive behavior. Negative Advocate attorneys are about 10-20% of all attorneys, yet they often draw a greater amount of attention to themselves.
              Just be cautious.

              Comment


              • #8
                If people turn in financial information late then it stands to reason that there will be notable fianncial discrepancies, particularly when someone is hourly paid. People do get retroactive wage increases all the time. I suspect that this or other reasons might be relevant and the poster should think before spewing off or getting her b/f all riled up. If I went in all 'guns ablazing' when increases of income showed up on my ex's statements I would look like a total fool. Adjustments are made yearly to account for increases, decreases in income. The only problem appears to me that statement were, and continue to be, handed in late.

                If you asked me what i made in the past 6 months I would have to give a ball-park figure as my employer hasn't issued my tax slip yet and I fully expect to receive it a month or two late.

                Yes handing in financial information in an untimely manner is a problem for many. Court doesn't enforce orders, and lawyers ignore orders it seems.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Clearly you're just looking for conflict, as usual. I'm not really into that. But I will ask:

                  1) When did I ever say it was JUST child support that my partner is trying to reduce? I see what you did there though, trying to twist it to sound like we're out to take money away from his kids. Quite the opposite, really. We'd like to have that money that he's overpaying to be able to do things with the kids, like go on a road trip or go back to an amusement park this summer, or put gas in the boat come summer so we can go camping. We haven't been able to do any of those things because we haven't had the money.

                  2) Why does a paying spouse not reserve the right to get ANY support reduced to the appropriate figure? I don't know of anybody who would willingly pay half their salary when they're only supposed to be paying 1/4 of it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    By teezy "Clearly you're just looking for conflict, as usual. I'm not really into that. But I will ask:"

                    REALLY?? You could have fooled me on the topic of looking for conflict.
                    Last edited by hadenough; 02-23-2013, 12:57 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by OhMy View Post
                      Sometimes I really miss Tayken's insight on this forum.

                      Teezy, your use of 'we' is the issue here I believe. This is your boyfriends battle. Yet you are fully immersed and at the forefront of it.

                      It follows the lines of this;

                      Definitions Related to High Conflict Personalities
                      By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
                      ©* 2007 High Conflict Institute

                      Just be cautious.
                      I don't think it's a bad thing that I'm helping him through this. I post on here to get information and also as an outlet about things I see wrong in separation, in particular his because I see it firsthand. I might not be separated, but I've been through it three times with my parents and now I'm in a relationship with someone going through it. I have a background in research, so it comes naturally to me to do so. This is something I've found myself to be passionate about; it's engaged my interest, for one, and secondly it's good to know how things work in family law.

                      But, perhaps you have a point about how I present it. I'll try to remove some of the emotion from the frustration we both feel and be more objective. That, I will agree with.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by teezy View Post
                        I don't think it's a bad thing that I'm helping him through this. I post on here to get information and also as an outlet about things I see wrong in separation, in particular his because I see it firsthand. I might not be separated, but I've been through it three times with my parents and now I'm in a relationship with someone going through it. I have a background in research, so it comes naturally to me to do so. This is something I've found myself to be passionate about; it's engaged my interest, for one, and secondly it's good to know how things work in family law.

                        But, perhaps you have a point about how I present it. I'll try to remove some of the emotion from the frustration we both feel and be more objective. That, I will agree with.

                        No, its not a bad thing that you are helping him. Just be cautious in how you are doing so.

                        Often times 'helping' can add fuel to a fire that is already out of control, so to speak. Often we don't even realize we are doing it, hence the negative advocate post. It was not meant to label you, only to draw your attention to the possibility of it occurring in your situation.

                        If you are needing an outlet to vent your frustrations about it - it may indicate that you are too immersed in the situation yourself. Just a word of caution.

                        You might also consider reviewing a thread Tayken had began a little while ago about social media. You are posting a great deal of specific information about your boyfriends case on the web. This can be linked back to him. Mix that with emotions you might display and it in actual fact, could possibly hurt his case, and not help it like you desire.

                        http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...rmation-13776/

                        I wish you the best of luck.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Yes, you're entirely right. I will refrain from posting about it for a while, and if and when I do, I'll limit it to less information.

                          It's easy to get worked up. I lost sight of caution.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by teezy View Post

                            It's easy to get worked up. I lost sight of caution.

                            Such is the case with most family law litigants, I am afraid, and its the reason IMHO of why our family law courts are so congested

                            Best of luck Teezy.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I understand that you merely want to help your ex.

                              I have met with my ex's g/f many times and it is obvious that she is somewhat "out of the loop" on many important factors of our divorce agreement. Unless you are present in all of the case conferences you can't be expected to know about everything. Sometimes my ex tells his girlfriend a washed-down version of events. This is quite frustrating to her as she spends her waking hours trying to figure out angles to having my ex's SS eliminated. It does him no good to have a g/f encouraging him to go to court (they took me to court 6 times unsuccessfully over past 3 yrs) wasting his money.

                              You might be best to give your b/f support by supplying him with information on regulations and looking up case law, assuming his lawyer doesn't do that. For example, your b/f's ex likely is not required to provide her 2012 financials until June. Employers are not required to issue T4's until Feb 28th and we are not required to file income tax until April. Reason being so people have enough time to purchase RRSP's and go to accountants, etc. I believe most divorce/separation agreements stipulate exchange of financial information is in June. I could be incorrect about this but you might want to check it out. In my case my ex has to provide me with his financials January 15th as he is self-employed and this is what we agreed upon at our divorce.

                              This is a divorce forum and sometimes it is more like a men's forum with distinct prejudice against ex-wives. There isn't a day that goes by without derogatory comments made about ex wives, particularly those of us who have been awarded SS.

                              Comment

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