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  • #16
    Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
    I totally understand the glee that may be boiling under the surface.
    We are all emotional creatures, after all.
    I'm guessing many NCP's that would "die for joint custody"would feel the same.

    As much as I'd like to see my daughter have two custodial parents, if the court orders she only have one then I think that one should be me.

    Having said that, if my child's mother died, I might view it as "in the best interests of the child".

    Comment


    • #17
      This is an interesting thread. I admire those posters who admit to having death wishes now and then. Don't we all? Especially on a divorce thread. We are human. As long as we don't act on them. Also it is not in our best interests to tell anyone, either the enemy or anyone else, that we wish our opponents ill, whether dead or alive.

      if you dig a hole for someone else, you will eventually fall in it. If you set a negative energy in motion, it will come back to you.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Rioe View Post
        I don't know what to say to this, except maybe that it's only funny in the movies, not in real life.

        You consider it good karma that someone on the periphery of your marriage breakdown was murdered? Kind of makes me fear for what you are looking forward to seeing happen to your ex.
        I am more curious what she is looking forward to seeing happen to him (OP).

        No, I am NOT wishing anybody to die, in case you wonder. Karma is karma, just KARMA. We are paying for absolutely everything we do, bad and/or good. No exceptions on our gender, age or perfect/imperfect English.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by caranna View Post
          This is an interesting thread. I admire those posters who admit to having death wishes now and then. Don't we all? Especially on a divorce thread. We are human. As long as we don't act on them. Also it is not in our best interests to tell anyone, either the enemy or anyone else, that we wish our opponents ill, whether dead or alive.

          if you dig a hole for someone else, you will eventually fall in it. If you set a negative energy in motion, it will come back to you.
          I never once have wished death on anyone. Not even my first ex who beat me and abused me emotionally, mentally and physically. I go by the old saying the best revenge is living well. I refuse to let them control my life and wishing death on them would be a way that they still exhibit that control. It means that they still have a place in my head and I refuse to allow that.

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          • #20
            Well SOS, then you are bigger than I.

            My to be ex was extremely abusive throughout the 42 year marriage, emotionally and mentally, and there was a time he beat me on the face so badly I had to stay home for 2 weeks, because I didn't want anyone to know. I was protecting him.

            Next morning I woke up not even recognizing myself, as my face was so badly bruised and swollen, made his breakfast as usual and pretended that everything was ok. Nothing was said about his assault for a very long time. I hid his abuse from everyone, even family, for decades, pretending the marriage was "perfect". People thought he was a great guy, so I guess I was an enabler. He never apologized, except when I asked him for one decades later, and he yelled, "I'm sorry, are you happy now?" Far from a sincere and heartfelt one.

            Yes, I have had those fantasies, but they were only that...fantasies. I would never act on them. If I saw him bleeding on the roadside, I would help him. I have moved on with my life and have found peace.

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            • #21
              My ex beat me unconscious, broke bones, got arrested. We are "friends" now. Divorced with no lawyers involved (i had one free consult and that was it). Split all we had just between the two of us. His salary was 3x of what I had at the time. He paid $200 a month for one child, no SS. He said he will give me this much and I said it's ok. Just wanted peace and ability to come home with no one there to drive me insane. Never wished him to die. He will one day, we all will.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by caranna View Post
                He never apologized, except when I asked him for one decades later, and he yelled, "I'm sorry, are you happy now?" Far from a sincere and heartfelt one.

                Yes, I have had those fantasies, but they were only that...fantasies. I would never act on them. If I saw him bleeding on the roadside, I would help him. I have moved on with my life and have found peace
                .

                Same here, he will never apologize or even admit to what happened regardless of police and ER staff documentation. I have had my fun imagining scenario's where I would make him pay .... waste of time, I would never stoop to his level regardless of Karmic implications.

                Though if he were to pass away of natural causes or whatever else - the only one who would be sad, would be his lawyer (maybe?) as the Ex has burned all his bridges ....

                Comment


                • #23
                  I certainly don't hate my ex. I have survived this divorce instead by carrying on and thinking of happier times we spent together and just doing whatever needs to be done.

                  Now that I've said the politically correct niceties, however, I have to say that I would take great satisfaction if I were to hear of him suffering any consequences of his actions.

                  I hope his hemaroids are horrific and cause him many sleepless nights.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by arabian View Post
                    I certainly don't hate my ex. I have survived this divorce instead by carrying on and thinking of happier times we spent together and just doing whatever needs to be done.

                    Now that I've said the politically correct niceties, however, I have to say that I would take great satisfaction if I were to hear of him suffering any consequences of his actions.

                    I hope his hemaroids are horrific and cause him many sleepless nights.
                    That's a punishment and a half LOL

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      For his g/f I wish her severe pink eye on Christmas and a big batch of boils under her arm pits on New Years Eve.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        I know what you mean, I "fell" of my bike a lot or said I was just clumsy. He applied for an FAC licence and told me that if I said anything to the police if they asked about the relationship he would make sure I regretted it. Stuck between a rock and hard place there either get the shit kicked out of me for saying something or allow a man who had an anger issue to have a firearm. Later when he got a gun he was in a rage, took the gun, loaded it and pointed it at me. He said it would be so easy. Needless to say it I started to plan my escape then.

                        Amazing how we hide the stuff but later on when asked people told me they thought he was hitting me as I never was that clumsy before. They didn't want to ask and instead thought it better to wait till I said something.

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                        • #27
                          Standing - how awful for you. I am glad that you are in a safe place now and the terror is hopefully behind you. Did your ex isolate you from friends and family as well?

                          Family violence is an issue that unfortunately often goes unaddressed. There is an increased reporting of abuse against men likely because men probably don't think that a) they would be taken seriously by the police and b) socially implausible to many that a woman could terrorize and physically abuse a man.

                          I wonder if the abusers were bullies as children?

                          I often thought that perhaps I should have hired a thug to take care of my husband and 'convince' him of the errors of his ways. It would have been much cheaper. Alas, I am a law-abiding citizen and this just didn't sit well with me - lucky ex.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by arabian View Post

                            I hope his hemaroids are horrific and cause him many sleepless nights.
                            Hahaha, good one! Now 'that' is what I call Karma - he had it coming to him for being such a royal pain in the A$$!

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by arabian View Post
                              Standing - how awful for you. I am glad that you are in a safe place now and the terror is hopefully behind you. Did your ex isolate you from friends and family as well?

                              Family violence is an issue that unfortunately often goes unaddressed. There is an increased reporting of abuse against men likely because men probably don't think that a) they would be taken seriously by the police and b) socially implausible to many that a woman could terrorize and physically abuse a man.

                              I wonder if the abusers were bullies as children?

                              I often thought that perhaps I should have hired a thug to take care of my husband and 'convince' him of the errors of his ways. It would have been much cheaper. Alas, I am a law-abiding citizen and this just didn't sit well with me - lucky ex.
                              I wasn't allowed friends, could not see my family at all, was just allowed to go to work and that was it. If one of our friends asked me to come over he had to come along.

                              The worst part, once time I got brave and went to the police with bruises on my neck. The asked if there were witnesses and when I said now they asked would he admit doing it. I said no and they told me they wouldn't do anything as too many woman do this then when it goes to court change their minds and refuse to testify. That was before they changed the way the prosecuted domestic abuse to the way it is today.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                                I wasn't allowed friends, could not see my family at all, was just allowed to go to work and that was it. If one of our friends asked me to come over he had to come along.

                                The worst part, once time I got brave and went to the police with bruises on my neck. The asked if there were witnesses and when I said now they asked would he admit doing it. I said no and they told me they wouldn't do anything as too many woman do this then when it goes to court change their minds and refuse to testify. That was before they changed the way the prosecuted domestic abuse to the way it is today.
                                Typical abuser's behavior. Was he like this from the very beginning or it transpired later into your relationship?

                                Comment

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