Originally posted by rockscan
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I think he's just got to wait for her to develop some maturity and sense of self-responsibility. Does she also whine when she gets bad marks about how her mom didn't make her study enough? University is going to be an eye-opener for her.
I think what may be effective for him (or not, it's not like I have any recent direct experience with teenagers) is to just say that the topic of the divorce is not going to be raised between them again for another year or something. Then every time she tries to complain about it, he can just remind her to table her thoughts until X date, and change the subject. Then on the appointed date, when she's hopefully matured a little, they can have a long discussion in which the daughter vents and the father answers any questions she may have. She may get the mistaken impression that he'd be open to talking about money on that date, but if it leads to a year of peaceful interaction, she might mature some and learn to appreciate him as a person and he may be happy to help her out by then.
Honestly, 99% of teenagers think their life sucks, no matter how easy and good they have it. Here though, the daughter has latched onto her father as a target for blame, and because he loves her, he's uniquely vulnerable to guilt tactics. She believes she can pressure him with her tantrums into doing one action (presumably it's giving her mother or her some theoretical sum of money) that will magically and dramatically change her life around for the better. I wonder if he can manipulate this greed to his advantage somehow. Maybe he can say that if she stops complaining and behaving this way and starts treating him with respect as a parent, he'll match her earnings up to $100 a month or something towards her tuition (and then pay the university directly, not to her) for every month they don't argue about the divorce.
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