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  • #16
    Originally posted by 4mylove View Post
    Mental health concerns being that there are anger issues which cause him to threatened to harm one or both of the twins which he never acted on and appears to say things to get me to comply and has threatened to harm himself. And no I have been the stupid one trying to keep the police out of things and have never called them during our relationship and since the girls were born. I was going to call the police once before and he told me the moment I call cas will be contacted; looking back it would have been better to do but it's difficult when in an abusive relationship.

    Be careful with this one. Everyone deals with stress in their own way and some people get angry because they arent able to reason through something and articulate. Im not saying your ex wasnt abusive, Im saying it might have been his response to the situation. Knowing this, you could approach things differently with respect to discussions or issues that require you both to speak to each other. You sound very reasonable and want whats best for your kids so perhaps you could look at how matters are discussed and what support you have. Is there someone he trusts/depends on? Maybe involve them in discussions as a neutral third party who he can speak with.

    I say this because my partners ex claimed he was abusive. He isnt. He gets frustrated easily and then gets upset. She also has a way of saying things that is argumentative and confrontational. They do all communication in writing now. This provides him the opportunity to think it over, talk it out with me or someone else, decide on a response and then send it. Early on she would call him, make accusations, antagonize him and then when he was angry would accuse him of being rude and abusive and then hang up. His greatest frustration was that she wasnt listening and didnt provide an opportunity for the discussion.

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    • #17
      Thank you again. All listened to very very carefully and why I've asked questions from everyone.

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      • #18
        Kudos to you for taking the advice in a mature manner. Impressive.

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