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  • VOC report

    Does anyone have any experience with the Voice of the Child report process?

    What does it entail?
    Is it stressful for the children?
    How much weight is this given in court?

    A judge has endorsed this in my case so I was wondering what we can expect.


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  • #2
    I dont have any experience but wanted to know how your motion went other than endorsing a voc.

    I cant imagine it will be in your ex’s favour!!

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    • #3
      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
      I dont have any experience but wanted to know how your motion went other than endorsing a voc.

      I cant imagine it will be in your ex’s favour!!


      The judge had many questions for my ex....like why are we here after only 2 years when nothing has changed....and why are you only ok with asking for 50/50 now after 10 years?

      She said that our schedule is one of the craziest she’s ever seen (remember, it is based around his shift work schedule since he can only parent on his days off, eye roll).

      She said that after all this time, 50/50 may not be the answer, and there are many factors to consider. However, she said we needed to work out a better schedule for the kids at least - which I agree with. I’ve always thought it should be about consistency for them, not what days are best for him.

      She said a Voice of the Child report seemed appropriate given the kids’ ages. I agree with that. I am also fairly confident that the kids will voice in favour of the status quo. We will see....


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      • #4
        are we talking an OCL report? are you in Ontario?

        It's a shitty long process.

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        • #5
          Lol I love that after all his blustering and threats he ended up getting beat by the judge. What was his reaction?

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          • #6
            No not OCL. We were told that our case would never be seen by OCL because there isn’t enough conflict. OCL is paid for by the government and as the pot runs out for this, less and less people are being approved for it.
            Instead, we have to pay privately for a social worker (maybe it’s a psychologist, not sure) who will come observe the kids, question them and then write a report. They don’t make recommendations, just make the children’s wishes known if they can ascertain them.


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            • #7
              that's crazy expensive. like 20k expensive isn't it?
              but I've heard it's more thorough.

              my lawyer was suggesting a "brief scoped assessment"- which is like a mini-report focused on one or two issues. it runs about $4-5k. That may be an option? And you can focus the assessment on access schedule instead of custody issues.

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              • #8
                I was forced into a private parenting assessment. He wanted it, so he paid for the entire thing. Retainer was 11K and our assessor was a psychologist. Results--he got slammed; it completely backfired on him. He thought the kids would be taken away from me. Nope and he was exposed for the a$$hole jerk he is.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                  Lol I love that after all his blustering and threats he ended up getting beat by the judge. What was his reaction?


                  I don’t think he’s happy with this outcome. He sort of seemed backed into a corner. I think he was hoping we’d mediate first but my lawyer said why would we before the VOC? His lawyer agreed on the spot.
                  I am actually wondering if the VOC will all happen. My guess is he tries asking/manipulating the kids before he spends his money, as he’d want to guarantee a good outcome for his thousands of dollars.


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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
                    that's crazy expensive. like 20k expensive isn't it?
                    but I've heard it's more thorough.

                    my lawyer was suggesting a "brief scoped assessment"- which is like a mini-report focused on one or two issues. it runs about $4-5k. That may be an option? And you can focus the assessment on access schedule instead of custody issues.


                    The lawyers and judge seemed to agree it would be around 4K each. Which is awful, but well worth it if it just puts this to rest.


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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Ange71727 View Post
                      I don’t think he’s happy with this outcome. He sort of seemed backed into a corner. I think he was hoping we’d mediate first but my lawyer said why would we before the VOC? His lawyer agreed on the spot.
                      I am actually wondering if the VOC will all happen. My guess is he tries asking/manipulating the kids before he spends his money, as he’d want to guarantee a good outcome for his thousands of dollars.

                      Are your kids old enough to understand his statements etc? Do they express their feelings well? When you know the appointment is coming up, mention to them that this is specifically so THEY have a say rather than mom and dad. Let them know they can say how THEY feel not what they think mom or dad wants them to say. Then leave it at that.

                      Im sure your kids have told you how they felt about their time with dad afterwards. You have said they do nothing and miss out on stuff. This is their chance to air it. He can coach them all he wants, when they get a chance to speak their minds they will.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                        Are your kids old enough to understand his statements etc? Do they express their feelings well? When you know the appointment is coming up, mention to them that this is specifically so THEY have a say rather than mom and dad. Let them know they can say how THEY feel not what they think mom or dad wants them to say. Then leave it at that.

                        Im sure your kids have told you how they felt about their time with dad afterwards. You have said they do nothing and miss out on stuff. This is their chance to air it. He can coach them all he wants, when they get a chance to speak their minds they will.


                        Yes they are old enough - 13 and 12 now. They inform me of all sorts of things said at the other house - mainly about what his gf says about me, because it bothers them. They get it and understand I think.
                        They are happy with the way things are in terms of schedule, and have made it clear to me before that they don’t want to increase their time at dad’s. My daughter told me that her dad has been asking her that question and that she told him she didn’t want to change things. That worries me because if he’s going into a VOC appointment already knowing their wishes, it makes me think he’s going to work on manipulating them before. I just hope he doesn’t make them feel guilty for what they truly want and put a whole bunch of stress on them to change their minds. That’s all I’m worried about.



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                        • #13
                          Im sure if you tell them to speak freely and openly to the person they will. I would also remind them that this is their chance to have a say and whatever you or dad say to them has no impact. I would also stress to them that anything they say will not impact how you feel and you don’t want them to be afraid you or dad will get upset.

                          He can say whatever he wants to them, I hope they tell the interviewer!!

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                          • #14
                            So we have now officially been through the VOC process. We have received a written report, as well as had a meeting with lawyers and the social worker who met with the kids.
                            In the end it cost each parent $2700 plus another $800 to my lawyer for the meeting.
                            Preferences of my kids were obtained and relayed as well as anything she felt would be an influencing factor (like if one parent was brainwashing the kids or putting pressure on them).
                            My ex is likely not very happy with the outcome as the kids expressed their desire to keep the same amount of parenting time and not go to a 50/50 schedule. They both gave several reasons why.
                            The social worker also dove into other issues that affect the kids, like the fact that a step-parent badmouths their mom. It’s all written in the document.
                            I feel as though this document will likely cause us to settle (I haven’t heard he is continuing to pursue it, haven’t seen any offers to settle since this meeting 3 weeks ago, etc). Of course court is shut down now, so maybe he’s just waiting...
                            All in all, I feel that for the money (which is a lot less than court), this could be a good way to encourage people to settle their cases. I wonder why more people don’t go this route.


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                            • #15
                              More people do not go this route because lawyers would make far far less. Yes that is cynical but one lawyer in a town is broke while 2 are rich. Our system is based in conflict not in resolution. They eloquently argue such fine points to prove that legislating effective and inexpensive resolution would not be fair to everyone. So what! If it resolved 95% of the issues then that is a huge improvement.

                              I have lost faith completely in the family law system as it stands today. But parents are also culpable by letting ego, emotion, malice and ignorance muddy their lives and that of their children.

                              One of the wise people here once said that a panel of professionals including legal, social work and accounting with a set of standards and guidelines could resolve the vast majority of cases.

                              Standard plain language agreement should be law. Fill in the blanks instead of starting from scratch with 2 lawyers charging $400 an hour. They start with their templates. Narrow citable case law by a council decision that follows a statute. For the really complex cases bring in whatever pre-approved expert is needed. Make arbitration mandatory. Make a VOC mandatory at the decision of the panel. Charge a reasonable fee to offset costs. I am no fan of more government regulation however in this case it is the responsible thing to do.

                              Anyone that has had to wade through the quagmire of material changes, foreseeable vs not, best interests of the children would agree. Lawyers will fight for their lives so this will never unfold.

                              Rant over

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