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  • School Parental Apps

    Ok... is it normal for the gf of your ex to add herself to all the school apps that teachers use to communicate with the “parents”. She even used my ex’s last name.
    Any step moms or dads on here communicate with their step kids teachers?


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  • #2
    My ex’s gf did. My daughter’s school uses the SeeSaw app, so when she started school last year I gave my ex the sign in info. Lo and behold it’s his gf that signed up for it. I think because she already had an account (her kids school uses the same app).
    I can always tell whether it’s her or my ex leaving comments on photos etc based on spelling and grammar lmao. Sometimes they’ll leave double comments on the same pic, both under her name. 3/4 of the time it’s her commenting though.

    It did strike me as a little strange (I wouldn’t dream of doing it with my boyfriend’s daughters, his ex would have my head lol) but I never let it bother me. I mean realistically he could have signed up under his own name and still shared all the info with her.

    Definitely another example of your ex’s gf butting her nose in where it doesn’t belong, but ultimately it’s your ex’s decision to give her that power. Don’t let it bother you

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Selfrepmom View Post
      My ex’s gf did. My daughter’s school uses the SeeSaw app, so when she started school last year I gave my ex the sign in info. Lo and behold it’s his gf that signed up for it. I think because she already had an account (her kids school uses the same app).

      I can always tell whether it’s her or my ex leaving comments on photos etc based on spelling and grammar lmao. Sometimes they’ll leave double comments on the same pic, both under her name. 3/4 of the time it’s her commenting though.



      It did strike me as a little strange (I wouldn’t dream of doing it with my boyfriend’s daughters, his ex would have my head lol) but I never let it bother me. I mean realistically he could have signed up under his own name and still shared all the info with her.



      Definitely another example of your ex’s gf butting her nose in where it doesn’t belong, but ultimately it’s your ex’s decision to give her that power. Don’t let it bother you


      Thanks for the feedback... nice to know it’s not just my ex who has a controlling partner.

      I called the school. Sent them the paperwork showing I have custody. She has been removed. They were quite concerned that she used a false last name.

      If and when they get married... then ok maybe...
      also the teacher informed me of their lies... saying they had not been given anything for the start of school. That they had to ask their son when meet the teacher night is???

      It’s funny I keep all my emails and the second day of school when all the paperwork comes home as per usual it’s always scanned and emailed to dad and gf’s joint email account.


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      • #4
        Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
        also the teacher informed me of their lies... saying they had not been given anything for the start of school. That they had to ask their son when meet the teacher night is???

        It’s funny I keep all my emails and the second day of school when all the paperwork comes home as per usual it’s always scanned and emailed to dad and gf’s joint email account.


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
        Why aren’t you just instructing the school/teacher to send dad this info directly? My boyfriend’s daughters teacher emails him every week with updates etc. my daughter’s school does the same with my ex. They even send out two report cards for us. I have ZERO interest in being the middle man between my ex and our daughter’s school because

        A) It means I have 1 more reason why I need to communicate with him
        B) It opens up another avenue of criticism (you didn’t give me document A, why wasn’t I informed of event B) My babysitting duties with him ended when I left his ass. He’s a big boy, and so is your ex. Let them communicate with the school and figure it out themselves. Remove yourself from the equation.

        As for the app issue- good that they removed her, but guaranteed someone that controlling will just sign up a new account under your ex’s name and continue to monitor everything.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Selfrepmom View Post
          Why aren’t you just instructing the school/teacher to send dad this info directly? My boyfriend’s daughters teacher emails him every week with updates etc. my daughter’s school does the same with my ex. They even send out two report cards for us. I have ZERO interest in being the middle man between my ex and our daughter’s school because



          A) It means I have 1 more reason why I need to communicate with him

          B) It opens up another avenue of criticism (you didn’t give me document A, why wasn’t I informed of event B) My babysitting duties with him ended when I left his ass. He’s a big boy, and so is your ex. Let them communicate with the school and figure it out themselves. Remove yourself from the equation.



          As for the app issue- good that they removed her, but guaranteed someone that controlling will just sign up a new account under your ex’s name and continue to monitor everything.


          The teachers and principals were definitely instructed to communicate with dad.

          I sent the info at begin of school as a courtesy. I won’t be sending anything. Dad is also signed up for the apps... as I can se his name. So if she needs to know she can get updates from dad. Not directly from the teachers.


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          • #6
            Im telling you all that these women are simply control freaks who are also trolling you.

            They didn’t get what they wanted in court the other day so now they are determined to push themselves into everything possible as a way to fuck with you.

            Ask yourself this—can you prove that you did enough to ensure they had the info? If the answer is yes then stop worrying about it. Who cares if these people are on apps, sending emails or going to the school? Are you angry because they are pushy and controlling? If yes then take a deep breath. If you get rattled by someone as insecure as your ex’s new partner then you have lost focus.

            They are only doing this to say “we had to go and get it from the school ourselves”. The judge will say “so”?

            Let them get the info. Let dad show up. You can’t argue dad doesn’t take an interest and then get angry when his gf forces him to do so. It is not going to have an impact on your case. Getting info from the school is not a material change.

            In other words, let it go. Ignore. Move on. Find something else to do. Laugh at their stupidity.

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            • #7
              My step kids school doesn’t use an app, but they do have a FB page... I follow the pages for updates and important info... my husband has FB but doesn’t really use it, his ex also rarely passes along info and other than report cards the school doesn’t mail double info... so if I see something on the FB I do send it to my husband and he’ll ask his ex about it... I guess the difference is anyone can like a FB page, the app seems like a more personal student portal though so I see that as different


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              • #8
                School Parental Apps

                Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                My step kids school doesn’t use an app, but they do have a FB page... I follow the pages for updates and important info... my husband has FB but doesn’t really use it, his ex also rarely passes along info and other than report cards the school doesn’t mail double info... so if I see something on the FB I do send it to my husband and he’ll ask his ex about it... I guess the difference is anyone can like a FB page, the app seems like a more personal student portal though so I see that as different


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                Exactly... there are several places where they both can get information... I sent them the link that actually fills in on your phone calendar as to school events. We have Twitter and Facebook school pages as well. The app is a direct link to the teacher. And sure dad should most definitely use this. But for a non step mom to add herself separately with dads last name... is just more overstepping.


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                Last edited by Mom 2 Two; 09-20-2019, 11:05 AM.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                  Ok... is it normal for the gf of your ex to add herself to all the school apps that teachers use to communicate with the “parents”. She even used my ex’s last name.

                  I think that is between the dad and the gf.


                  My ex has her long term boyfriend on those apps. I may or may not like it, but that is not my call.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                    I called the school. Sent them the paperwork showing I have custody. She has been removed. They were quite concerned that she used a false last name.
                    Are you sure you should be doing that?

                    I mean- it kinda looks a bit (re: a lot) high conflict. If your file ends up at trial- they could end up spinning this as you being uber controlling and not even allowing information to be passed to the gf. It feels gatekeeper'ish.

                    Does her having the information interfere with your boys in any way? Or is it just her flexing?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                      The teachers and principals were definitely instructed to communicate with dad.

                      I sent the info at begin of school as a courtesy.
                      Why are you doing him favours? You are not together anymore. Stop mothering him and let him and/or his gf get the info for themselves.

                      Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                      Dad is also signed up for the apps... as I can se his name. So if she needs to know she can get updates from dad. Not directly from the teachers.


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                      I’m with Iona on this one. Who cares if it’s your ex or the teachers giving her the info? You know that either way she is going to find out. It’s not like she has any say in their education and the teachers already know this. You calling the school waving around the custody order and making them take her off only makes you look like the controlling and high conflict one. Also you seem very bothered by the fact that she has assumed his last name online. Who cares? It makes no difference. My ex’s gf gave herself his last name over a year ago on social media. Not my business.

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                      • #12
                        In summary, my take on this:

                        -You regularly try to communicate/mother/whatever with your ex. If everything was hunky dory this might be ok. But your situation seems to be more high conflict, so you need to scale back

                        -Your ex’s new gf is threatened by this behaviour. She doesn’t like you acting like you are still a big part of her man’s life, and doesn’t want anybody but her to do the mothering/whatever

                        -The gf begins trying to mark her territory (re: using his last name, using his email, creating an account on the school app etc). This is her saying “This(aka your ex) belongs to ME. Back the fuck off” She is also probably trying to get access to info first so she can inform him before you can (thereby rendering your phone calls/emails to him useless and eliminating his dependence on you)

                        - You begin to get irritated by this behaviour and try to insert yourself more into the circus (re: calling the school and having her removed from the app)

                        This will only cause her behaviour (and yours as a direct result) to spiral out of control. It becomes one nasty circle and you will be left looking like a moron.

                        Step out of the big top. Let the ringmaster and her tiger jump through the hoops of fire, and watch as the tiger catches himself on fire.

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                        • #13
                          You have it all wrong.. but that’s ok

                          I routinely get accused of not communicating school information to him as our current agreement says I am to keep him informed.

                          And each time I have told him to get his own information he (she) again quotes our agreement telling me I need to continue spoon feeding him.

                          He also put it in his latest offer to settle. That I still must continue to inform him of all school information??

                          The judge has told him to get it himself. To which I pointed him towards the school webpage with the calendar on it

                          I invited his gf once a while ago hoping that she could offer some other solutions for our youngest son that was struggling in school to a parent meeting. Myself, my ex and her. She threw me under the bus... and stated to the teacher that she suggested our son stay with her on Mondays after dad’s weekend because he was so tired and had such a hard time transitioning back to school that day?! So yes after this suggestion I clearly saw that her input was not needed. The next school meeting she came to uninvited... she was not welcomed into.

                          My kids are at a new school and the school was not aware of who they can speak to with regards to decision making. They assumed dad had joint custody. Wonder who told them that.


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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                            I routinely get accused of not communicating school information to him as our current agreement says I am to keep him informed.
                            School Information Email to Ex:

                            “Our children go to XYZ Public School, located in the town of Fukkit. Their phone number is 111-222-3333. You are listed as the father on the contact list and are legally entitled to information about our children’s education”

                            The End

                            Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                            He also put it in his latest offer to settle. That I still must continue to inform him of all school information??

                            The judge has told him to get it himself.
                            Further proof that no one is going to give you shit for not spoon feeding him information that he has access to himself. The judge literally told him to get it himself. Why are you still enabling?

                            Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                            I invited his gf once
                            *pours oil into fire then complains when flames jump 30ft high*

                            Originally posted by Mom 2 Two View Post
                            My kids are at a new school and the school was not aware of who they can speak to with regards to decision making. They assumed dad had joint custody. Wonder who told them that.
                            Huh? What do you mean they weren’t aware? There is a form you fill out when you register your kid for school that literally asks who has legal custody and if custody is currently in contention before the courts.... As concerned as you are about this ongoing custody issue, I would have assumed that you would have filled out that portion first when you registered them?
                            Regardless, I’m not sure what this point has to do with your original problem?? Custody or not, both parents are legally entitled to receive information about their kids. Unless your ex and his gf were sending the teacher msgs through the app telling her to put the kid into a French immersion class, this issue doesn’t really have anything to do with custody

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Selfrepmom View Post
                              School Information Email to Ex:



                              “Our children go to XYZ Public School, located in the town of Fukkit. Their phone number is 111-222-3333. You are listed as the father on the contact list and are legally entitled to information about our children’s education”



                              The End







                              Further proof that no one is going to give you shit for not spoon feeding him information that he has access to himself. The judge literally told him to get it himself. Why are you still enabling?







                              *pours oil into fire then complains when flames jump 30ft high*







                              Huh? What do you mean they weren’t aware? There is a form you fill out when you register your kid for school that literally asks who has legal custody and if custody is currently in contention before the courts.... As concerned as you are about this ongoing custody issue, I would have assumed that you would have filled out that portion first when you registered them?

                              Regardless, I’m not sure what this point has to do with your original problem?? Custody or not, both parents are legally entitled to receive information about their kids. Unless your ex and his gf were sending the teacher msgs through the app telling her to put the kid into a French immersion class, this issue doesn’t really have anything to do with custody


                              Old school closed. Info got transferred. Didn’t fill out whatever your talking about ever as registration from JK went to the new school in their files when we were not divorced. now they have it

                              Thanks for making me feel more like shit... just so you know.

                              Everyone deals with things differently... and the nasty intimidating emails I receive almost daily from my ex or his gf sometimes make me worry that they will use every little thing against me. It’s taken 1.5 years to hear from a judge and give me some confidence that I am doing absolutely nothing wrong. Even though they continue to accuse me of it all the time.

                              This site is supposed to be helpful. Sometimes it is... most times it just makes me feel worse... my bad...


                              Take care all and I hope you all succeed in your ventures. Good luck with your arrears and your motion.


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