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Is child support included in ss calculations?

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  • #16
    Ihave to say that we are all in emotionally charged situations that involve persons on the other side who can be vindictive, unethical and outright liars. I too have seen posts which can be harsh, but i have to say that the men on here who have offered there assistance to me have been respectful. I only wish that my daughters father had half the character that they have shown in caring for their children...however I beleive that we all need to dial it down a notch and try to be understanding of each other. Also, remember when using a forum you do not have the other mediums needed to understand context nor emotion such as non verbal communication and tone of voice. I hope that we all come through this on the other side with just a few dents and not a total write off.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by canadamama View Post
      What does this even mean? (OK I mean beyond the Cry Me A River reference)

      It certainly doesn't address my point at all. Are you saying that it is 'whiny' to ask that unnecessary personal attacks stop being par for the course on this forum? I can't really see any other interpretation... What IS this?

      Are you saying that women seeking SS should not EXPECT to find respectful and informative responses on this forum?? That personal attacks are just fine in threads involving SS?

      How can you possibly expect to be taken seriously? I don't think anyone can argue at this point, having read this thread, that this is NOT a site that leans heavily towards supporting men and vilifying women. There may be a few women here who toe the party line and therefore avoid attack, but clearly, any woman who comes here seeking information about her SS entitlement (which is a perfectly legitimate line of inquiry in a forum such as this), can expect nothing but nasty comments and attacks on her character.
      It means that your knee jerk man bashing statement is total bullshit. It means that you are completely OUT TO LUNCH. This "...site leans heavily towards supporting men and vilifying women..." Gagghhhh, puke, disgustingly gross --------------> BBBllleeeeccchhhh.

      Get out your binoculars Lugan, cuz you up shit's creek and you need to find your paddle!

      Originally posted by Chrysalis68 View Post
      Wow!! Don't you guys think that I am hurting more than enough??

      Thank-you to CANADAMAM for understanding and trying to explain to these insensitive people.

      I am hurting beyond believe. Maybe you guys should think before throwing out assumptions.

      My children and I have been very emotionally abused.

      As far as financially, I am the one that supported my husband completely (for 2 years before getting married) with a roof over his head and and everything that a house has to offer without one penny from him so that he could pay for his 30 year old's rent even though he made more money than me (I had 3 kids as well to support)
      We bought a house where I was the one that put the huge deposit on it and had of course all the furnishings and appliances etc.

      We have been together for a total of 7 years.

      DON'T WORRY I AM TOTALLY RETIRED TO EVER BEING WITH ANYONE. I GAVE MY TOTAL HEART AND SOUL.

      I just want to be able to survive the next few years. If any of you knew just half the pain that my children and I have endured, you would understand that at the least I need to be able to promise them that they will have a safe home to live in.
      You think that we here don't know "...half the pain..."? How plainly self-centred of you. Thank you for advising us of your pain. Otherwise, none of us would have known better.

      News flash! Separation and divorce hurts! Badly! But your hurt doesn't create a SS entitlement. Separate your hurt from the $$ and things will settle up quicker.
      Last edited by dadtotheend; 04-03-2011, 08:37 AM.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by mummer1962 View Post
        Ihave to say that we are all in emotionally charged situations that involve persons on the other side who can be vindictive, unethical and outright liars. I too have seen posts which can be harsh, but i have to say that the men on here who have offered there assistance to me have been respectful. I only wish that my daughters father had half the character that they have shown in caring for their children...however I beleive that we all need to dial it down a notch and try to be understanding of each other. Also, remember when using a forum you do not have the other mediums needed to understand context nor emotion such as non verbal communication and tone of voice. I hope that we all come through this on the other side with just a few dents and not a total write off.
        Mummer1962, I would like to ask you to read through this thread. Please read the responses to the OP, and then to me, and the vitriolic, nasty post by Dadtotheend above. Would you describe those posts as respectful? Do you think that the problem with those posts is that we can't hear tone of voice to temper them? What on earth did Chrysalis say to deserve the attacks she received? What did *I* say? She posted asking a simple question, which required either a simple response, or clarifying questions, if necessary. *I* committed the cardinal sin of calling out those who responded on their unnecessary judgement of her life decisions, which they made based on a few sentences, with no desire to try to actually help her by answering her question. The message was clear: "This forum is not to help the likes of YOU, lady. This is OUR forum, and career serial wives collecting SS from poor unsuspecting men can get the hell out." That message is repeated in thread after thread after thread, whenever any woman comes here seeking information about SS, and when I pointed that out, rather than indicating that they have any concern about this forum being an open and safe place for all, they turn their name-calling and vitriole on me.

        People who come here are vulnerable, and they come here seeking support and information. If they are men seeking access to their kids, they get it. If they are women seeking spousal support, they just get kicked when they are down, and anyone who points that out gets a stout kick as well.

        Seriously, Mummer1962 - read the posts above and tell me I am wrong.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by canadamama View Post
          ...tell me I am wrong.
          You are wrong.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
            You are wrong.
            You are right.

            Cheers!

            Gary

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            • #21
              canadamama, you have been around here for a little more than a month.

              There must be well over 100,000 posts on this site. You must be a VERY quick study and a VERY quick reader, because from here it would a lot longer than that to actually come to an informed opinion.

              Contrary to your statements above, it is you doing the attacking when you play that sad "the big bad men are beating up the women" card.

              It's very convenient to pretend that we are all beating up the women. It's cloaks your own abusiveness quite nicely, n'est ce pas?

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by Chrysalis68 View Post
                Wow!! Don't you guys think that I am hurting more than enough??
                If you don't get your head out of your ass and stand tall, you will be hurting more than now, and more than you thought possible.

                We're all in the same boat - that's why we're here.

                Cheers!

                Gary

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                  Contrary to your statements above, it is you doing the attacking when you play that sad "the big bad men are beating up the women" card.
                  Stop picking on me!!! ::wail::

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by canadamama View Post
                    People who come here are vulnerable, and they come here seeking support and information.
                    Oh sorry, I didn't realize we are here to coddle the hurt.

                    I thought that this was a site offering legal advice about separation and divorce.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Blurb on front page
                      The Forums at OttawaDivorce.com are staffed by experienced social workers who are specially trained to answer all questions in a sensitive and compassionate manner.
                      Sorry, I missed that part.

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Mess View Post
                        Sorry, I missed that part.
                        WWWWWOOOOOOO WWWWWWWWEEEEE!!!!

                        YYYYEEEEEEE HHHHHAAAAAWWWWW

                        Say hello to Grandma!!!

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Care to tell me HOW I am wrong? I am yet to see a reasoned or carefully thought-out response in this thread. Simply stating that I am wrong is meaningless. I'm NOT wrong, and saying I am doesn't make it so. If you want to assert that I am wrong, go ahead and read what I am actually asking, read through the thread, and find examples of statements that were helpful and respectful, or actually explain how statements like "I see a career pattern here lol", or "good luck in your future divorces" are anything other than mean-spirited and deliberately hurtful attacks.

                          The OP in this thread didn't ask to be coddled. She WAS asking for "legal advice about separation and divorce" - instead she got attacked.

                          I never claimed to have read all of the posts on this board - I claimed to have seen a trend. I could go and gather quotes from various threads to illustrate that trend, but this one stands as a perfect example of exactly what I am talking about.

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                          • #28
                            Oh so your judgement of this forum is based on a sampling of the material here?

                            Are you sure that your sample was representative of the popluation at large? Do you have even a modest understanding of statistics and sampling?

                            Or are you projecting?

                            Quit crying lady. It's not a good look for you.

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                            • #29
                              OK here's a question then.

                              IS this forum an appropriate place for women to come seeking information about their entitlement to spousal support?

                              If yes, could someone please direct me to any thread in which this matter is discussed without her character being attacked? Honestly, I have done a lot of reading here, and I haven't found one yet.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                So...you want someone to do the work for you?

                                Comment

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