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Old 04-21-2007, 11:00 PM
k66 k66 is offline
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Unhappy Need Objective Advice

Hi, I am new to this forum, my first post, but have been reading with great interest for the past 2 months.


Background: People involved:
Myself
former common law spouse
I have 1 daughter 12 years old, from former marriage :I have joint custody with primary residence
Together we have 1 daughter 5 years old
In 1999 I moved back to my hometown when my daughter from my marriage was 4.5 as I wanted the support from my family I also had a boyfriend who lived there.
I purchased a home (mortgage and deed fully in my name), he moved in to the home with me.
I historically have paid more than 69% of all monthly household expenses
I historically have done 75% plus of all daily household upkeep
I have paid for all major renovations/maintenance of property (furnace, deck and fencing)
Please note: CL spouse was fired from his employment in January of 2007 and has not paid any money towards any household expenses incurred after December 06 except he says he has paid -house insurance and Bell, I do not know if this is true or not - (in fact I was told that the Bell account was his personally and it was none of my business). NOTE- Update on house insurance- please see below...
House Insurance Update - I received a bill (addressed to us jointly), from broker advising that the house insurance was not paid and the insurance would be terminated due to lack of payment. I have documents that show payment schedule and what was not paid. I paid out the house insurance for the term (no choice) to compensate for his lack of payment.

I negotiated for an unsecured line of credit of $30,000.00 at the time I purchased the house. CL spouse requested the opportunity to turn his credit rating around by borrowing $16,000.00 from this line of credit to pay off debts he had. He also requested that his name be on the line of credit so that he could more easily facilitate making payments to that unsecured line of credit via electronic banking. The verbal agreement was made that this loan would be repaid in no more than 5 years (60 months), and that no one would remove money from that account without the others expressed permission. The only other item that went on to that unsecured line of credit by mutual agreement was the above ground swimming pool, purchased in June of 2000.
CL spouse, did not repay the loan with in the specified period of time, in fact he removed more money from that account without my knowledge and it was over the limit. He started not paying the minimum monthly balance due on the unsecured line of credit, until the bank began removing money from a joint chequing account we held and my own personal account to pay that minimum monthly payment. Currently this line of credit has been frozen due to his lack of payment on this account. the outstanding balance is around $25,000.00 There was an overdraft on both the joint chequing account and my personal account, both of these overdrafts were removed by the bank as well. CL spouse also removed $2200.00 from the joint chequing account that I set up to pay household expenses (Childcare, groceries, mortgage, insurance) to which I deposited a certain amount of money in to per pay , to use for his own personal gain. I also had to make up that amount in order to pay off the expenses this money was earmarked for.
CL spouse agreed as part of his contribution to the operations of the household expenses that he would pay the taxes for the property. he did not pay those taxes for more than 2 years, and it was unknown to me as he intercepted the tax bills (addressed to me) before I could receive them. Later on I found out that CL spouse was sending emails to an individual at the city tax office requesting more time as he was off work due to stress, and that some money would be forthcoming. In fact this was an out and out lie as he was not off work at all during that time period He ended up paying the taxes for the first roll in 06, sometime in December 2006, or January 2007 so therefore he has not paid for the taxes for 1/2 of 2006, and the first half of 2007. I have paid this overdue amount.
Unbeknownst to me, CL spouse also added my name to a Leon's charge card, so that we could purchase some items for the house. Those mutally agreed on purchases were: 2 loveseats for the downstairs tv room, upstairs refrgerator,downstairs refrigerator, a chest freezer and a dishwasher. He also added to this amount without my knowledge until there was already an agreement by him to purchase a large screen television for use in the downstairs tv room (there was a perfectly good tv for down there) and a movie camera (which was a Christmas gift for me)
There were many phone calls to the house from Citifinancial for the minimum amount due on these charges as he was not paying them on time, which I did not know for a certain period of time were linked to my name as well.
CL spouse agreed as part of his contribution to the operations of the household expenses that he would pay Enbridge gas (house is heated by gas and there is a central air conditioner payment that is also on that) bill.. CL spouse did not pay the monthly payments, and I received messages on the answering machine more than once that stated the gas would be turned off due to lack of payment. This happened on more than one bill in question.When i received the bills in February there was an outstanding balance owed of: $300.00 which I paid off

CL spouse agreed as part of his contribution to the operations of the household expenses that he would pay Hydro One (electricity). When I received the bill in February there was an outstanding amount owing of $300.00, of which is now up to date (I paid it)

When CL spouse was fired from his employment in January, and I had no choice but to take over paying all of the bills, he told me they were all up to date. This was a lie, see documentation above
Cl spouse claims that the Bell bill is up to date, yet when I checked said account, one week it was over $500.00 owing, then the next week he paid $350.00 of that. How did he do that without any incoming money? Please note, most of the charges were due to his using the pay per use chat lines at $25.00 per call. (Quest Personals) 2 years ago I found out he was using this "service", and requested he stop and also block those calls from being made. he agreed to that, yet the past bills prove that he did not stop, and still continues to use these chat lines.
There have been numerous calls from creditors looking for money, for him personally, for us jointly (like the unknown leon's account)….and for me personally as I had to pay out unexpectedly for things he was supposed to be responsible for.
I feel like I have been financially and emotionally destroyed over this. I had a good credit rating prior to this and now I imagine it is horrid.
He is still living in this house (in the basement), and the emotional stress is killing me. He doesn't even see what he has done as being wrong, as if i am the one who is so rotten.


I am going to the bank next week to see if they will allow me to absorb that line of credit in to my mortgage. I do not want that hanging over my head.

Prior to his getting fired from his job on jan 6th, this was the agreed upon split of contributions:

Him per month
ELECTRICITY 100
GAS & AIR CONDITIONER PAYMENT 178.26
WATER/SEWAGE 33
PROPERTY TAXES 153
HOUSE INSURANCE 50
PHONE/INTERNET 70
CABLE 110

total: 711.26 per month

me per month:
MORTGAGE & MTG INSURANCE 653
GROCERIES FOR ALL MEMBERS OF HOUSEHOLD 520
CHILDCARE 450

total: 1623

I also paid for the following:
Fence and decking for backyard 5000
Furnace 4300

Please note - I also paid for 90%of all Christmas gifts for the children and for family members as well as 100 % of the children's extra curricular activities and birthday parties etc
Does he have a case for unjust enrichment against me? In my opinion, no, yet I would like objective advice.
Logically if CL spouse would have remained living where he was, his expenses are estimated as follows:

would have paid rent (based on the previous arrangement he had at his friends ) to the amount of $400/month x 113 months 45200
plus child support for our daughter based from her birth to present - $440/month multiplied by 60 26400
personal & grocery items based at $200/month 22600
This would be his living expense total if he would have stayed where he was based on the time he was living with me: 94200

This is what he paid while living with me:

ELECTRICITY 100/mos for 113months = 11300
GAS 178.26/mos for 113 months =15424
($12204 & AC PAYMENT for 46 months = $ 70x 46 mos = 3220.)
WATER/SEWAGE 33/mos for 113 months = 3729
HOUSE INSURANCE 50/mos for 113 months = 5650
PHONE/INTERNET 70/mos for 113 months = 7910
CABLE 110/mos for 113months = 12430
PROPERTY TAXES 2000/yr for 6.5 years (I paid the rest) = 13000
The total he has paid while here is around: $63433.00

Therefore he paid over $24,000.00 less living with me than he would have living on his own.

Add to that the problems with all of the bills etc, and ruining my credit rating and me dealing with pissed off creditors I feel he is the enriched one.

Sorry this was so long, can anyone out there give me an opinion?