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  • Stupid question but need to ask it

    Its a stupid question, but I need to ask this to find out if there is anything I can do. My wife is now giving away our pets and I want to know how I can stop her. My lawyer is telling me that it would be too expensive to try to get him to do it, I am curious if there is anything I can do or if I can do any leg work to get custody of our cat. She has already given away our dog. Yes, I know they are just animals but they mean a lot to me and they are a part of my family.

  • #2
    I'm curious as to which statute the lawyer would be relying upon ... Save your coin.

    Perhaps, write the individual and express your interest to keep the pet(s). Additionally, Make an Offer to purchase. If they refuse - they sure appear to be vindictive which may have impact on some other outstanding issues.

    Comment


    • #3
      However much we love our pets, animals are property. Some couples spend all their savings fighting over the pets. If she doesn't want them, then they should be yours. This would be instantly recognized in court, but if you want to avoid the cost of court I would suggest you write a formal letter to the individuals that received the pets stating that you are the legal owner of the animals, that your ex has given them away out of malice, and you would like to reconcile the situation with them without resorting to legal action, and before they become too attached to the animals.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Mess View Post
        However much we love our pets, animals are property. Some couples spend all their savings fighting over the pets. If she doesn't want them, then they should be yours. This would be instantly recognized in court, but if you want to avoid the cost of court I would suggest you write a formal letter to the individuals that received the pets stating that you are the legal owner of the animals, that your ex has given them away out of malice, and you would like to reconcile the situation with them without resorting to legal action, and before they become too attached to the animals.
        Agreed.

        Write her, her lawyer and the people who got the animals a letter stating that the animals are marital property and that you do not consent to them being sold, given away or otherwise disposed of.

        If your wife doesn't want them, they are yours by default.

        Comment


        • #5
          Well she has not replied back to my email to her.Here lies another question, my lawyer said it would be too expensive for him to try, but what if I write a formal letter to her lawyer myself on this issue? Would that cause an issue with my lawyer on the divorce matter?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by hrobins View Post
            Well she has not replied back to my email to her.Here lies another question, my lawyer said it would be too expensive for him to try, but what if I write a formal letter to her lawyer myself on this issue? Would that cause an issue with my lawyer on the divorce matter?
            i do not think it would, you are just bypassing one of the middle men. If your lawyer does say anything just tell him that he is still handling the main divorce, you just want your pets and she is getting rid of them.

            I feel for you, I had an issue with my ex husband. We had two cats and he wanted one, when he moved out, even though he worked odd hours and slept when not working. He would maybe have an hour at home when he ate, bathed and then he went to sleep. I had more time for the animal, the two cats got along great playing and hanging around like cats do. In the end we decided that the best place for both cats was with me.

            Comment


            • #7
              When you are represented, the correspondence is supposed to go between lawyers, your lawyer is accepting service for you (ie court papers). There is no law that says you can't write her lawyer, but her lawyer will very likely not respond to you, but to your lawyer.

              You can write, call, email your ex and negotiations between you and her can go on between you.

              If you write her lawyer a) make sure you note that you are writing over this one side issue only and your own lawyer is still representing you; b) don't expect a response, her lawyer may prefer to continue to deal with your lawyer otherwise it gets too complicated.

              Comment


              • #8
                That is horrible! You definitely should do something to get your pets back! Good advice above...use the words "marital property" as suggested..

                My ex used to threaten to give away my dog..said I would pick her over him..for once he was right!

                Comment


                • #9
                  billiechic said:

                  My ex used to threaten to give away my dog..said I would pick her over him..for once he was right!

                  Haha!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Well my ex sent me a very nasty response:

                    1st email :

                    Must be nice to be so perfect Howard, I didn't promise you Charlie, I did how ever promise Smokey if i couldn't look after her. His name isn't Henry... And yes i will be forwarding this letter including what i have sent you in response. Fight don't fight what ever you want to do, You want the phone Pay me back what i paid for it then, cause i did pay half the other half went on the phone bill and cause its under your name you think you can threaten me with it. I have showed all the text messages to my lawyer and i am keeping track of the e-mails and if you message me in any other way i will be keeping those as well and will send them to my lawyer. Do not harrass me either you got what you wanted me and the kids are gone. So lets finish the divorce and i will be totally out of your hair.... That is all i have to say and will not respond to any more messages.... Its not MY WAY, I am willing to do what the law says for me to do, I am sure by now i am spread all over the internet in blogs... but that is ok cause I will not retaliate and do the same. Good bye and I wish you well. I

                    2nd email
                    you are the one who is escalated the divorce, i just want it to be over your the one who wants the phone again you can have it when you pay me what i paid for it which was half of it the other half got put on the phonebill. You want this divorce to get ugly, I have left you alone so nothing gets started but yet you continually try to find every way to harass me from the phone which you turned off (which by the way fell in a toilet out of my pocket) to e-mails. So i will give you the phone but not to you personaly if i give it up it will be to my lawyer cause i don't want to deal with you no phone calls, no e-mails. I will also befarwarding this e-mail to my lawyer. and keeping it in records so if we go to court i will show them that you have been threatening me and if i can find a way to get all the text messages that have been sent as well.


                    FM please feel free to move where you need to see fit, I guess the question is now what do I do now? How do I handle the threat she made of sending this her lawyer etc? And the cellphone she speaks of was paid by me not her, she only paid her cell phone bill for two months and then stopped because she refused to pay her part. I even told her it was going to happen and then said that I am trying to control her. So I guess this has go way off topic, but I like to know what to say to my lawyer if anything can be done?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      What did you send?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Yea, I admit I was nasty to her. So thing is how do minimize the damage


                        1st email to her:
                        Sent: Tue, July 6, 2010 1:18:02 AM
                        Subject: Henry /Legal Matters/You better read this

                        I know you are not going to even read this or even response to me, because you HAVE TO HAVE IT YOUR WAY. But this time, you pushed and I am going to push back. You told me that you would let me know that you were going to give away Henry/Smokey you lied to me YET AGAIN!!!!



                        You have 12 hours from this letter to tell me where Smokey is, to give me custody of Smokey, and to return your cell phone to me or I will be forced to advise my lawyer to start legal action to recover the cost of said cell phone/gain custody of Smokey. I am not kidding Lucille! I am tried of the crap, one of your sons decided to come to my house and slash my tires and tried to pour sugar down the gas tank.


                        You want spousal support to go back to school, I know for a fact you do not intent to go back. You told me yourself that you can't learn from a book I paid for you to start taking classes at the Academy of Learning and you stop doing that as well. Which was a waste of 200 dollars !

                        I do know you are going to give this to your legal aid lawyer and I want to say that I will be fighting you getting spousal support and will be proving you lied. Have you even told your lawyer some of the stuff you did? I have prove that you lied to me and have proof you lied to the Gov't of Saskatchewan.


                        Again you have 12 hours!!!

                        Second email to her after 12 hours had ended.
                        Subject: I am now going to have to sue you!


                        I gave you 12 hours, I have started legal steps to gain custody of Smokey. I gave you a chance you refuse to even listen or bother to read these emails. You made this divorce become nasty and have shown your true self in the process. After I get Smokey and the phone, I will have nothing else to do with you.


                        You will be hearing from the small claims court soon.


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                        • #13
                          I think I would try to be nice and focus on compromising settlement by way of responding email...

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                          • #14
                            That is the thing I tried before and she didn't even want to try to talk about it. I tired to come to a settlement so it wouldn't have to go this far, she didn't even want to try to talk.

                            As to the cell phone guys, I did tell her three times that she would need to pay her half or I would have to turn the phone off. I gave her two months and she didn't pay her part of the bill, yet keep right on using the phone, I have records of that. I finally suspended her phone and right now am stuck with her contract to pay off. And now it has no phone with it.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Wow, how we fight over the little things.

                              The phone, you should've just said you were transferring it to her name and taking yourself off. Turning it off can seem controlling. Transferring it to her sounds like parting ways.

                              The pet, I understand your upset, but a simple statement that - as Henry/Smoky is matrimonial property, you are not entitled to sell, gift or otherwise dispose of him without my previous consent. In the event you no longer wished to house [pet], I should have been provided the opportunity to refuse to house [pet] myself. In this regard, would you please, at your earliest opportunity, either retain [pet] for your house or provide [pet] to me for my retention.

                              On a side note (not to be prick here) you both sound like a bunch of bickering children. There are ways to communicate and separate yourself from your ex that are much more effective. Just give her the phone and transfer the account to her getting yourself off the hook (if you can). Who cares if you paid $300 or whatever for it, is ~$300 worth fighting over? Secondly, take emotion out of your emails, but keep everything in written form. Write your emails as if you were writing them for a lawyer/judge to read. Yeah, we know you can't stand your ex. But in order to keep the ball rolling and not looking bad, you gotta show that you are attempting to cooperate and are keeping communications civil.

                              And yes, she will show your email to her lawyer and you can show her email to your lawyer. Each lawyer should look at it, roll their eyes, and then ask what you want to do.....

                              Comment

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