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  • #76
    HammerDAd - thank you for your response, that's all I was looking for!
    The bulk of that information was contained on page 1 already.

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    • #77
      You might have generated a little sympathy for your situation if you didn't constantly berate the logic of and furthermore insult other people here, especially when you're own logic has been demonstrably unsound time and again.

      FYI, I'm an accountant who is used to sifting through techincal documents as well. I dare say that many of the people who disagree with you (i.e. all of other posters) have some acumen as well.

      Contrary to your many many arrogant statements in this thread, being in science does not put you on a pedestal above everyone else here. It might surprise you to learn that some or all of us have some brain matter too.

      I'm done with this thread. You're incorrigible.

      Comment


      • #78
        Hammerdad - how do we go to mediation? When she lives on the other side of the country, can we do it via conference call?
        It also states in our agreement that she'll pay airfare porportional when she gets a full-time job, but she hasn't kept one long enough, so we can't use that clause, not that I know of.

        NBdad - i responded to you respectfully after your first post, then I was accused of lying and was told "your hubby screwed up. too bad".
        Maybe next time a women complains that she doesn't get CS, I'll respond with "you married and had a kid with a loser, too bad suck it up" cause that's real helpful.
        Now stooping to say I am lying about my occupation is another low, and you've just proven there are more than a few toxic people on this site.

        Comment


        • #79
          Originally posted by got2bkid View Post
          Hammerdad - how do we go to mediation? When she lives on the other side of the country, can we do it via conference call?
          It also states in our agreement that she'll pay airfare porportional when she gets a full-time job, but she hasn't kept one long enough, so we can't use that clause, not that I know of.
          Yes, you can probably attend mediation via conference call so long as the mediator has the facilities to accomodate it.

          As for your agreement, that is very loosely worded. I would not have agreed to the move with such poor wording if I were your husband. It is open to interpretation and the possibility of allowing to an out in the event she loses her job in the future.

          However, it may be ammo for court if you can show that she agreed to pay the costs of travel but through her own inability to maintain permanent work, she has reneged on it for X number of years. Therefore, you are seeking to have child support reduced by an amount equal to the cost of travel as you are unable to rely on her ability to afford the cost of travel thanks to her career instability.

          That would be the route I would take now. He agreed to allow her to leave with the good faith belief she would find a job and arrange for the children to be transported to him for his access. He gave her ample opportunity to find suitable employment (8 years?!?!?! I mean really...) and she has not lived up to her end of the agreement for whatever her reasoning. And her inability has created a burden on Dad that was never anticipated as being a burden more then for a short period of time, you seek the alternative remedy.

          I would believe that a judge would find that fair and considering she did agree to pay for the kids transportation, but has not, the judge would not be all that happy with the situation. But you have to ask the court for the relief in a motion. Your evidence will be the agreement and your receipts for the airfare for the past various years. It should be enough to prove to a judge that Dad never expected to have to pay this on an ongoing basis and that mom hasn't lived up to her end of the bargain.

          Comment


          • #80
            It also states in our agreement that she'll pay airfare porportional when she gets a full-time job, but she hasn't kept one long enough, so we can't use that clause, not that I know of.
            So input her an income based on her skills/education. A quick search of the various job sites should give you a rough idea as to what is available in her area and what her potential earning power would be.

            As costs are an issue for your household, you need to be careful with this, as if she returns to work full time and requires child care to do so, your hubby is then responsible for a proportional share. (It's a valid section 7 expense). The access costs and proportional share of section 7 would decrease, but you could potentially be looking at a slight increase in your monthly costs due to the extra expense of childcare.

            I would highly recommend you do the math fully before broaching this subject,as it may be that you are better off with the status quo.
            At a minimum you can argue that she be inputted an income for full time @ minimum wage based on her province of residence.

            She has an equal obligation to support the children, just as your hubby does. If she is not able to keep full time work, then she needs to have a valid reason for it.

            You have to look at how it would affect the current calculations, and then toss in the extra $$$ for child care. Without knowing how old the kids are, it's difficult to even guess at the potential costs. I would suggest you look up a couple of registered day cares or after school programs in her area and call them to see what they charge.

            Now stooping to say I am lying about my occupation is another low, and you've just proven there are more than a few toxic people on this site.
            I never said you were lying about your occupation. You made a claim that you can follow the math. However in numerous posts you have proven otherwise. You DO NOT get the math involved, or you do and willfully ignore the facts when someone takes the time to SHOW YOU the flaws in your logic.

            I am sorry that you do not seem to understand that the law in your situation is functioning as intended. There are things you can do to improve your situation, they have been explained to you a number of times, but no one is going to simply do it for you. The law requires that you ASK FOR THESE THINGS, and if you do not ask, then they will NOT automatically give them to you.

            Comment


            • #81
              NB - imputing the ex's income would only be regarding section 7 expenses, not the costs of dad exercising his access. That was a financial obligation that was created solely by the ex, and she should have to cover the related expenses.

              If the ex is also saying I make no money, therefore you have to pay 100% of all extra-ordinary expenses, then you would ask the court to impute her income to at best the amount she would be making based on a equivilent skill level/earning potential or at worst full time minimum wage.

              But if this was me, the costs associated with transportation of the children to me for my access are not something I would be arguing we pay proportionately, as I was not the parent responsible for creating the costs.

              Comment


              • #82
                Oh I agree with you, however depending on the circumstances, it might be more cost effective to argue about inputting an income, and then paying proportional shares of section 7 as well as access per their existing agreement.

                She'll have to run the numbers and see what makes the most sense financially, and then turn around and speak with a professional (rather than us guys off the interweb) to see which option has the better chance of success were it to go to court.

                Comment


                • #83
                  Thanks. I will look into mediation via conference. Imputing her a full-time income is long over-due, this way she pays her fair share of extras, plus, according to our agreement, her share of the airfare. We could try getting full airfare, but that is highly unlikely since it took for years to agree to the clause we do have in there now. There would be no extra child care costs as the children are old enough now to be home alone.

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    Originally posted by got2bkid View Post
                    We could try getting full airfare, but that is highly unlikely since it took for years to agree to the clause we do have in there now.
                    I would fight for

                    1a - she pay 100% of the costs to be covered as per your original agreement; or

                    1b - reduced child support equal to the cost of exercising access.

                    2 - failing that she pay 1/2 of the costs for airfare and takes a slightly reduced amount in c/s.

                    3 - then failing that you guys each pay proportional to income and she takes a slightly reduced amount of c/s as you guys will obviously be paying the lions share again.

                    While you are amending the agreement/order to provide for relief of the costs for travel also request the courts impute her income to what she is capable of making (even if it is minimum wage) as she also has an obligation to provide for the children. Not just that, it circles back to having her pay her share of the costs for transportation above.

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Thanks Hammerdad, that is really good advice.

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Originally posted by got2bkid View Post
                        Thanks Hammerdad, that is really good advice.
                        Thanks, but please don't call it advice, I wouldn't want anyone thinking I am a lawyer or relying on what I say more then some other guy on an internet forum....lol

                        Comment

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