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Old 04-04-2010, 01:44 PM
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dadtotheend dadtotheend is offline
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Location: Toronto
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You're not going to get very far in your 15 minutes at court without objective third party support making claims about dietary, smoking, hygenic and stress issues. I don't think a doctor/psychologist is going to go out on a limb and blame your ex for these behaviours in writing based solely on what you tell him/her.

The court will probably refer you both to counselling and/or parenting classes as the court is busy enough dealing with financial and custody/acess issues.

You're best bet is to work together with your ex to try and get some common objectives for raising the child.

You are best to play up your strengths in parenting the child and not spend time running his parenting down.

You're not going to like what I have to say here, but saying "I have allowed him to see his son every other weekend..." smacks of a sense or entitlement to a superior position as to raising the child. You need to remember that until ordered or agreed otherwise you two have joint custody of the child.

That you moved home in the aftermath of the trouble that happened in Edmonton may have been necessary for you in the circumstances, but not best for your child. I'm not going to let the criminal charges influence my opinion one tiny bit as to how the children's best interests should be attended.

Your child needs his Dad. He also needs the two of you to work together in face of all adversity to give your boy the best chance to thrive. For a child to thrive, the research is clear that two things are extremely important:

1)The child must be shielded from conflict between the parents
2)The child must have lots of access with both parents

You can argue six ways to Easter Sunday why the status quo should not be upset, and you will likely be successful in court since you have run to Ontario and set up a defacto custody situation, and the Dad has been stigmatized, rightly or wrongly, by criminal charges. You have the hammer, no doubt.

But the child's interests are best served by giving Dad more than every other weekend and one night a week. If Dad has to go to a couple of parenting classes in the early going to bone up on nutrition, hygeine and care while your boy is sick, that is easy to do, and in the long run will be best for the boy. In your heart, you should know this.

Last edited by dadtotheend; 04-04-2010 at 01:46 PM.