Thread: Why court?
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Old 05-12-2012, 09:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momforever1956 View Post
I have just finished my 3 year struggle to finalize all kinds of issues related to my divorce. I agreed to mediation/arbitration and it was completed in 4 hours.
The simple answer... Lots of people run to court screaming bloody murder because they want "justice" not settlement. These are the people that for some reason feel that they have been wronged by the other party and that the court really cares and will do something about it. The reality is for a lot of people, their emotionalism runs too high. They base all their facts on "emotional reasons".

They want everyone to know how bad the other litigant is... They expect the court to serve justice... Not fair and balanced settlements. They throw as much mud as possible. Complain about what movies the other parent watches with children thinking it is relevant.

Most litigants don't understand the concept of "relevance" before the court. Who cut the child's nails, that you think the other parent is going to hurt the children, all your fears anxieties and wishful thinking don't matter to the court. Decisions are based on COGENT and RELEVANT EVIDENCE. (Yes, I say this a lot in my posts but, it is the biggest factor in what drives long drawn out family law litigations.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by momforever1956 View Post
Why aren't more cases handled this way?
Because people go to court looking often to punish the other party in the matter. They actually think that their concerns are so unique to them that they have never been heard before and that a judge will be so upset that they will lecture the other party. The look to going to court to tell the other party they are all bad and the are the "all good" party. That they were a horrible partner (spouse) and that they are evil and horrible people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by momforever1956 View Post
It was truly a good experience for me. The facts were presented, the truth was told. I have to mention that because I was truthful and with the 3rd question the arbitrator asked me, it was to my detriment financially, for me it was easy sailing from then on.
I wish more people who went through a mediated process came to the site and posted comments like this more often. There has to be better court services for proper mediation... Conferences are not mediation. They are technical hoopla for getting to a motion or trial.

Quote:
Originally Posted by momforever1956 View Post
I didn't get all that I had requested in my mediation brief, but ultimately was given a fair deal and that is what I had prayed for.
Mediation is always the best way to go. Even if both parties have lawyers. A good mediator will tell it as it is and defunk the BS that lawyers often sell to their clients.

Quote:
Originally Posted by momforever1956 View Post
I am able to work and have as much income as I can generate and it will not effect my SS for 5 years and then it will be reviewed. Is this common?
No this is not common per say. It is common if you were not working for a significant time period and you need to retrain. If you have reached a final agreement then there isn't much that the other party can do to disrupt the agreement. Things marked as "FINAL" are hard to change and require a "material change in circumstance" for them to be opened up.

Glad to hear a mediated solution worked for you.

Good Luck!
Tayken