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Old 01-01-2017, 09:48 PM
Kinso Kinso is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 124
Kinso is an unknown quantity at this point

Damn I wish I could edit my earlier post, typos galore. That's what I get for providing a response on January 1 in the morning after a late NYE party. But I digress.


I went through your other posts and I believe you need to be ready for a swift kick to the teeth at court. Your conduct has been bad in the eyes of the court (even if understandable in the eyes of people). You're not going to get far by saying 'she was blameworthy too'. It's like kids who say 'but she did it too'. You just both end up grounded.

The CS and SS issues are different and need to be addressed differently. What works for one will not work for the other.

Child Support

This is where you're really going to get hit hard.

You don't need her finances to calculate your child support obligations. Unless you have shared custody which I didn't see in your other posts. The arrears here are likely going to stand and saying 'but she didn't give you disclosure' is dumb because it's not a requirement to calculate your obligation.

My suggestion is you settle this issue and focus on SS alone.

Spousal Support

13 years of marriage with children means entitlement likely exists. Granted it's still on her to demonstrate, and the fact you were married does not alone mean entitlement, but it would be surprising if this wasn't found.

Focus on SS on a go forward basis and that her lifestyle hasn't changed, along with her injury occurring after your separation.

The Rules of Evidence

As stated above, you CANNOT put offers to settle before a judge before judgement has been made. NEVER. Doing so is contrary to the rules of evidence.

Now, some of your emails which contains offers might be used to show you were asking for her income to calculate your support obligations. If you're going to rely on these you need to black out the actual offer to settle, but leave the fact that you were asking for disclosure in. Read them carefully.

Your original list

I'm just going to replicate your list here and give my 2cents on the value of them, :
a) How I calculated cs based on our incomes and the table - The emails here are irrelevant, what you need is your income and the tables, the fact that you sent this to her is irrelevant
b) My ex stating my value of her income is wrong (though not correcting the value) Irrelevant - her position at trial is what matters
c) Me asking for her income (no emails of her giving it to me) Relevant for Spousal Support so undermine an arrears argument - pick the earliest 2-3 examples and stick to that
d) Offers to mediate, and her replies stating she wants the issue in front of a judge Irrelevant - do not include
d) Her talk of her legal advice, speaking to her lawyer or speaking to FLIC Irrelevant - do not include
e) Offers I made to her by email NO NO NO - Do not include prior to judgement - only useful for costs arguments after someone has 'won'
f) Emails explaining to her that I have to use her previous income because she won't give me her change in income Not relevant - repeats the gaols of item c
g) Emails of me telling her I need her income so I can pay the proper support Repeats the goals of C
h) Other various emails that would lead me to believe that she is still making the amount she made while we were married Evidence of good faith - repeats the goals of C
i) Various emails hinting to her lifestyle that would also lead me to believe that she was making a similar wage to what she made before separation. Hard to say without reading them, only value would be if she confirmed her lifestyle was ok
j) Emails of hers stating that she is entitled to spousal and arrears but, not suggesting what her wage is or what I should be paying. Repeats the goals of C
k) Motions where she listed ss and arrears but never dealt with them Not relevant at all
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