Hi everyone. I am new here and am so glad that I found this site.
I was married for 30 years and have 3 grown children. I have numerous questions regarding my situation. My ex and I have been separated since August 2005. At that time he was laid off and secured employment out of province. I was quite willing to go with him and start a new life yet again. We had moved 9 years earlier. I suspected he was having an affair but he swore up and down that was not the case. Anyhow to get to the point he did not want me to move with him and advised me that he would move and work for the next ten years or so and then come back. Ok well it didn't take much for me to realize that he wasn't coming back..this is where things got a bit sticky. I went an got a separation agreement and we filled it out together. You have to understand that I was still going to work and didn't let anyone know what was going on so I was trying to keep things as normal as possible. In the meantime he was separating my whole life in the basement deciding what he was taking and what was staying. I was the one that had to tell our children and family.
I went to a lawyer for a consultation with the separation agreemnt in hand. The advice I received was..you have crossed all your T's and dotted your I's but I won't represent you unless you get alimony. I advised the lawyer that he didn't want to pay and the lawyer said that I needed to protect myself and get "some amount, any amount for now because when it comes time for the divorce a judge can change the amount but if you don't have alimony then he cannot award it to you". I beleived that the separation and divorce were two separate issues. Not once did the lawyer tell me not to sign the separation agreement. So after much arguing I was told by my ex that he would give me $300.00 per month and not a penny more and that he would only start paying me in January 2006 as he needed time to get settled.
So now we have been through two case conferences with a judge and the judge said in both meetings "why would the court overturn a separation agreement" I was shocked.
The calculation showed with his wage, our ages etc etc that I should be receiving $1700.00 -2100.00 per month. My lawyer submitted an offer to settle of $1700.00 per month but my ex then moved to another position within the company where he doesn't get overtime and the calculation according to his lawyer has been signficantly reduced to a medium amount of $900.00 per month. My ex countered at $500.00 per month for 8 years which would put me at 60 and him at 65. My lawyer then countered at $900.00 per month and this is where we sit until the trial.
Also my ex has not provided his expenses from last year and has since entered into a common law relationship and advised that he was paying an amount in rent each month. We have since discovered that his common law girlfriend owns the house.
I really thought that I was protecting myself and now it has cost me thousands of dollars to get this far and I am concerned that at the trial the judge will not overturn the separation agreement.
All other assets were dealt with and the only issue is Support. His wage is more than twice what mine is.
Can a judge over turn a separation agreement and on what grounds would they do this?
Hope you can shed some light on this situation.
I was married for 30 years and have 3 grown children. I have numerous questions regarding my situation. My ex and I have been separated since August 2005. At that time he was laid off and secured employment out of province. I was quite willing to go with him and start a new life yet again. We had moved 9 years earlier. I suspected he was having an affair but he swore up and down that was not the case. Anyhow to get to the point he did not want me to move with him and advised me that he would move and work for the next ten years or so and then come back. Ok well it didn't take much for me to realize that he wasn't coming back..this is where things got a bit sticky. I went an got a separation agreement and we filled it out together. You have to understand that I was still going to work and didn't let anyone know what was going on so I was trying to keep things as normal as possible. In the meantime he was separating my whole life in the basement deciding what he was taking and what was staying. I was the one that had to tell our children and family.
I went to a lawyer for a consultation with the separation agreemnt in hand. The advice I received was..you have crossed all your T's and dotted your I's but I won't represent you unless you get alimony. I advised the lawyer that he didn't want to pay and the lawyer said that I needed to protect myself and get "some amount, any amount for now because when it comes time for the divorce a judge can change the amount but if you don't have alimony then he cannot award it to you". I beleived that the separation and divorce were two separate issues. Not once did the lawyer tell me not to sign the separation agreement. So after much arguing I was told by my ex that he would give me $300.00 per month and not a penny more and that he would only start paying me in January 2006 as he needed time to get settled.
So now we have been through two case conferences with a judge and the judge said in both meetings "why would the court overturn a separation agreement" I was shocked.
The calculation showed with his wage, our ages etc etc that I should be receiving $1700.00 -2100.00 per month. My lawyer submitted an offer to settle of $1700.00 per month but my ex then moved to another position within the company where he doesn't get overtime and the calculation according to his lawyer has been signficantly reduced to a medium amount of $900.00 per month. My ex countered at $500.00 per month for 8 years which would put me at 60 and him at 65. My lawyer then countered at $900.00 per month and this is where we sit until the trial.
Also my ex has not provided his expenses from last year and has since entered into a common law relationship and advised that he was paying an amount in rent each month. We have since discovered that his common law girlfriend owns the house.
I really thought that I was protecting myself and now it has cost me thousands of dollars to get this far and I am concerned that at the trial the judge will not overturn the separation agreement.
All other assets were dealt with and the only issue is Support. His wage is more than twice what mine is.
Can a judge over turn a separation agreement and on what grounds would they do this?
Hope you can shed some light on this situation.
Comment