Hello,
I would very much appreciate if someone could give me as much detail as possible on advice how to start divorce (or should it first be separation?) proceedings. Although me and my husband agreed that we need to separate and divorce, he insists that he "is not going to do or agree to anything" before our sons turn 18 years old (= 2 and 1/2 years from now). I, however do not want to wait that long. Our family is very disfunctional; me and my husband argue 80% of the time that we are together in one room, sometimes to the point when I am so emotionally shaken that I cry uncontrolably for hours or take medication to calm me down, and my husband sometimes decided to "leave the house" for hours to calm himself down. To me it seems (and my councellor and doctor agree) that such environment is in no way better for our sons to be growing up, studying and enjoying their teenage years, than if me and my husband separated and the boys would have a much more peaceful life with each one of us be it at my or my husband's home. I asked him many times why does he want to wait and his response seems somewhat vague to me. He says that he wants to be seen as "good father" for not leaving his kids before they reach the age of majority. I have a feeling that he simply is a bit scared to start life on his own - I always was and still am the one who took care of everything (looking for his or my jobs; financials, finding programs for everyone, looking for help on various issues, filling out all documents, talking to officials regarding my, my husband's, our family's stuff etc). Anyway, I know that I cannot simply ask him to leave the house (we own our house and it is almost paid off) but there must be a way to start divorce proceedings even if the other spouse does not want to do so and does not want to move out. I also understand that going to court is very expensive, and therefore am trying to "hang in" and wait for these 2 and 1/2 years to pass but on the other hand I feel guilty that by doing so I am depriving my children of having a better = more peaceful life especially now when they are transforming from being kids to being adults. I will appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thank you.
I would very much appreciate if someone could give me as much detail as possible on advice how to start divorce (or should it first be separation?) proceedings. Although me and my husband agreed that we need to separate and divorce, he insists that he "is not going to do or agree to anything" before our sons turn 18 years old (= 2 and 1/2 years from now). I, however do not want to wait that long. Our family is very disfunctional; me and my husband argue 80% of the time that we are together in one room, sometimes to the point when I am so emotionally shaken that I cry uncontrolably for hours or take medication to calm me down, and my husband sometimes decided to "leave the house" for hours to calm himself down. To me it seems (and my councellor and doctor agree) that such environment is in no way better for our sons to be growing up, studying and enjoying their teenage years, than if me and my husband separated and the boys would have a much more peaceful life with each one of us be it at my or my husband's home. I asked him many times why does he want to wait and his response seems somewhat vague to me. He says that he wants to be seen as "good father" for not leaving his kids before they reach the age of majority. I have a feeling that he simply is a bit scared to start life on his own - I always was and still am the one who took care of everything (looking for his or my jobs; financials, finding programs for everyone, looking for help on various issues, filling out all documents, talking to officials regarding my, my husband's, our family's stuff etc). Anyway, I know that I cannot simply ask him to leave the house (we own our house and it is almost paid off) but there must be a way to start divorce proceedings even if the other spouse does not want to do so and does not want to move out. I also understand that going to court is very expensive, and therefore am trying to "hang in" and wait for these 2 and 1/2 years to pass but on the other hand I feel guilty that by doing so I am depriving my children of having a better = more peaceful life especially now when they are transforming from being kids to being adults. I will appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thank you.
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