Hello All,
I’m looking for peoples’ experience with family law (access, custody, etc.) when the Divorce Act does not apply. In particular, when the Mother and Father were never in a relationship. Since a trial is approaching in several months, what I’m hoping for from this forum is to hear some people’s opinions, advice, and experiences if they are similar to my situation, as follows:
- Mother and Father were never in a relationship.
- Mother and Father never lived together (except when the Mother sublet to the Father for 3 months before conception).
- Father didn’t visit Child until Child was 9 months old. Between 9mos and 2.5 yrs. of age, Father visited ~8 times (each supervised, ~two hours in length).
- Mother and (now) Stepfather were in a relationship living together since Child was 1 year old (Child now 3). The Child has known the Stepfather as a ‘father-figure’ all of its life.
- At Child age 2.5, the Father files for custody/guardianship/50-50 access, etc. The Father currently sees the child every second weekend (~32 hours/month) as he lives 4 hours away from the Child.
- The Father’s parenting capability appears to me to be at a poor level: on some instances he has endangered the Child (took Child to the train-yard, exposed Child to gasoline and its fumes), the child doesn’t eat or isn’t fed much or anything over 7hrs, child doesn’t/isn’t allowed to nap, and the Child verbally protests when being handed over to him for visits. Visit weekends are emotionally and physically hard on the Child. After many visits, child uncharacteristically gets sick. Child regularly displays obvious and problematic behavioural symptoms of stress and anxiety for some period after visits.
- The Father is impossible to ‘problem solve’ with on all of my endless attempts, rather, it is clear that he wants to control me and even admits his desire to “wring [me] through the courts”.
Does anyone else have a similar situation to share, and what were your outcomes? Any trial related advice?
How is it in the ‘best interest of the child’ to be placed in a split-family lifestyle (if it were to be 50-50 access) and taken away from the secure Mother-Stepfather family the Child has known all its life? I do not have an issue if the Father wants to be present part of the time, say, as it currently is at 20-80. Is there an actual “maximum contact” law which would put all of the child’s needs below their “need” to be in the “possession” of the biological father (in this case, a stranger) for the most time possible?
Thank you for your help. I realize this is a ‘Divorce’ forum, but I have been unable to find other cases similar to mine. I know there are many Mothers and children out there who have had everything Forced upon them, as is my case, and they may appreciate the knowledge presented here.
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