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  • Never a court filed agreement....

    I have a question. My boyfriend has a daughter that has just, as of today, graduated from College with a diploma. She is 20.

    There was never a court filed or signed separation agreement. The last 10+ years they agreed on an amount of child support and he has paid.

    He phoned her to let her know it was done........and now she is upset threatening back support and to pay another year because the daughter may go back to school to get more education.

    Question: If there wasn't a "filed or signed" separation agreement.......what is there to go back on? Also, isn't it first diploma/degree that the support ends?

  • #2
    Unless the child is registered in school, the "may" go back is moot.

    A court may order that c/s continue past the first degree/diploma, depending on a few issues, one of the large issues being the ability of each person to contribute to paying.

    I may say that the graduation present to the child/ex of "the kid is cutt off" is lacking in taste. But I don't know the relationship. The reaction you got was the typical knee-jerk reaction to your claim.

    With no agreement or order in place, it would be hard for her claim further support. Notwithstanding that, it may cost them more to get that bit of support, then the amount of support they would receive for the brief period support would be required.

    I would sit back now and wait and see what happens now. Does the child re-register for a class? Does the ex file? Right now you have threats. I wouldn't concern myself until actions are made.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi,
      1) If his daughter is back in school, CS will be owed, along with other expenses..guaranteed!. If she is back in school, I suggest keep the peace and pay another year or so.
      2) Payor's are now paying CS for children up to a PHD! Again, your boyfriend needs to tread carefully about not paying CS.
      3) Child Support is based on the payors income for the most part and is not dependent on a separation agreement. There are a host of facts that can alter things a bit and not enough info was provided by you in this regard.
      4) From what you mentioned so far, while his daughter is in school, keep paying what he has been paying and don't necessarily "swat the bees nest". Male payors are NOT treated fairly in Family court, try to stay out of sight of a Family Court Judge whenever possible. Until we change the laws..... that is!
      5) If she retains a lawyer ( and based on what you have provided), that lawyer may turn your world upside down! Again try to get a long a while longer and stay off the legal radar

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you HammerDad & staysingle for the responses. I didn't "go into" details much based on sticking to fact and point. I've been reading ALOT of forums on this website, and "run on sentences & emotions" seem to cloud the issues.

        Paying support up to a PHD is VERY interesting and the simple guidelines that support stops at 18 or first degree, arn't necessarily true, speaks true of the times we are in.

        I would somewhat agree from what I've read/heard that men are not treated equal is accurate. The scenarios on this site alone are mind boggling.

        I like that both replies stated to sit back/stay off the radar are the best advice.I think at this point it would be a shame to waste time and energy going through lawyers for what is left.

        Thank you again for your replies. Some very good points. :-))

        Comment


        • #5
          Was the agreed to amount of CS close the the table amounts at all?

          Did he have ANY access with the daughter at all at any point in the last 10 years?

          Did he contribute towards the cost of the education at all beyond CS?

          If the daughter had to get student loans/etc to finance the education and he did NOT contribute, he could be made to pony up a share.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thank you for weighing in NB Dad.........always looking for the "experienced" opinions.

            The agreed amount of CS was according to the table amounts for the last 10 years. There were extra's thrown in as well such as competitive hockey and braces.

            The access was limited due to PAS. The mother was more concerned with "buying" the kids so that they would spend less time with said father. It was either clothing, vacations and most recently a car. If time was spent with him, she would call the entire time, or pick her up. Again, there was NO separation agreement outlining time at each parents house.

            The cost of her education is being FULLY funded by the Indian Government, to which the mother is half indian, and daughter a quarter. The daughter also receives $800.00/mth spending money.........

            Every situation is unique non???

            Comment


            • #7
              I'd say that he should continue paying a bit of child support, maybe half what he did before, but give it directly to the daughter, and make it clear that it's for a limited time, such as six months, to help her out while she job hunts, or moves out into her own place. Then she can choose what to do with it; after all, if she's a college grad, she's an adult now! There's no way the mom can argue that he's not supporting the child, it's going beyond the legal requirement, and it reduces the impact of the abrupt cut-off 'grad present.'

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks Rioe! I agree 100% that the child should still be supported financially. That is a really good idea, to give it to her directly. She will be working this summer, I would assume, and if she does in fact attend an additional year, then help with rent and things is definitely needed.

                This forum is very helpful!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Every situation is unique non???
                  You can say that again. I like Rioe's suggestion as well...if she DOES go back and they push for it, they may wind up with full table amounts, so be careful with it....but I would be sending the $$$ directly to the daughter if there is no agreement otherwise, just make sure you document what it is for. (ie. use the memo field on the cheque or e-transfer)

                  Comment

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