First let me start with a brief background summary.
I have 4 kids (all under 9yrs) with my ex, who is extremely narcissistic, controlling of the children, and generally jealous of their love for me. I moved out and ended our marriage 2 years ago, after being made to feel like a lower member of the house than the dog. There were many ups and towns since then, but generally I maintained a constant relationship with the kids, having them 2-3 days a week, and sleepovers mostly (if she decided to allow it).
* Out of the blue, shortly after my two girls (2 and 6yr old) came over for a sleep over, I get a call from the police saying the 2yr old told her mother I sexually touched her.
* About a week later, the boys reportedly told the mother that I touch them too and they saw me touching their sister on a previous weekend.
* The police did a forensic test immediately and after the first weekend and those results showed my innocence. At this point CAS was open to me having supervised access with a family member. The mother refused this.
* I paid a top polygraph examiner to test me about sexual abuse. I passed the test with a very low deception score.
* CAS closed the file stating that I have no access so they have no role presently. They advised me to contact my lawyer to get access back. They state the results of their investigation are 'inconclusive'.
* I filed a custody/access application against their mother, demanding access to children again.
* Exwife hires man-eating bulldog lawyer. They file answer with court stating that the children are attending sexual abuse counseling at a crisis center, but 'the results are not finalized'. The word the entire answer as if the abuse as in fact occurred.
* The allegations seem to have changed 3 times. Originally it was just about the 2 year old daughter's statement about touching on the first weekend. Then it was all the children including the boys. Now in her answer filed, it seems its just the girls now, yet nowhere is there a mention of my oldest girl ever claiming such.
* She is asking for termination of access, and saying that I should not even have supervised with family because we will grill the children with questions.
* My affidavit includes 30+ pieces of evidence including phone recordings, emails and her facebook screenshots.
** One phone recording is from a past incident that has her hysterically accusing me of putting the kids at risk of molestation, simply because i had my gf's daughter over for a sleepover. She witheld sleepovers for several months because of the great risk i allegedly put the kids in.
** Another phone recording is from a weekend where she, on the phone, coached my son into repeating that he did not want to come over to see me, then saying he's not coming because he doesn't want to. She repeats the same phrase 12 times to the 1yr old to convince him he does not want to see daddy. its hard to describe here but the call is very sickening and is pretty clear proof of alienating behavior.
** I have a forum post made by her from when we were married where she details her suspicion that our 2yr old son is a sexual deviant and predator. All this because he showed some normal curiousity. Again the post is quite sickening but hard to summarize here.
** I have many many examples of her controlling/alienating behavior, such as emails scolding me for feeding them "grocery store meat". (I'm only allowed to feed them food from sources she approves, this is part of her parenting requirements).
** She admitted in her answer that she herself was sexually abused by a male family member, but denies any plays into her actions.
** She insists that she home school the kids using an "unschooling" approach. I have her admitting to doing "unschooling" on facebook. My oldest son cannot read and my daughter has extreme shyness around strangers. In her answer she is blaming those behaviors on the alleged sexual abuse. I'm opposing the homeschooling and basing my argument for custody largely on this issue.
* There are prior incidences of her calling CAS on me for trivial reasons, which CAS closed without concern. She's been trying to get me "in trouble" for some time, and it seems now she's found something sickening enough to lie about that people seemed too shocked to disbelieve.
At this point, I'm waiting for the case conference and the CAS disclosure of their files on our family. This has been a complete nightmare for me as you can imagine. So, any feedback or advise will be helpful, but I have a few specific questions:
A) Will all of my evidence of her alienating and damaging behaviors even matter to the court? I'm hearing alot of stories on here about court ignoring evidence and im getting worried. My allegations against her are not as shocking as hers, but mine are 100% truthful and backed up with hard evidence. Will the judge consider her past alienating/vindictive/persecuting behaviors when looking at her allegations? Remember she is the only person (AFAIK) that the kids allegedly said these things too.
B) When is the realistic time frame of when I will see my kids again (even supervised)? Its already been 5 months and I'm sure the kids miss me very much. We had great relationship and I gave all 4 much love and attention all the time.
C) If it is revealed that their mother exaggerated/overreacted/manipulated these accusations, will their be any redress? Will this influence the court to give me custody?
Any help or advise is needed, or just to talk. I'm really having trouble hanging on the this fight. Only the love for my 4 kids is sustaining me, but I feel if i dont get some help/support soon, I might not be able fight on much longer.
I have 4 kids (all under 9yrs) with my ex, who is extremely narcissistic, controlling of the children, and generally jealous of their love for me. I moved out and ended our marriage 2 years ago, after being made to feel like a lower member of the house than the dog. There were many ups and towns since then, but generally I maintained a constant relationship with the kids, having them 2-3 days a week, and sleepovers mostly (if she decided to allow it).
* Out of the blue, shortly after my two girls (2 and 6yr old) came over for a sleep over, I get a call from the police saying the 2yr old told her mother I sexually touched her.
* About a week later, the boys reportedly told the mother that I touch them too and they saw me touching their sister on a previous weekend.
* The police did a forensic test immediately and after the first weekend and those results showed my innocence. At this point CAS was open to me having supervised access with a family member. The mother refused this.
* I paid a top polygraph examiner to test me about sexual abuse. I passed the test with a very low deception score.
* CAS closed the file stating that I have no access so they have no role presently. They advised me to contact my lawyer to get access back. They state the results of their investigation are 'inconclusive'.
* I filed a custody/access application against their mother, demanding access to children again.
* Exwife hires man-eating bulldog lawyer. They file answer with court stating that the children are attending sexual abuse counseling at a crisis center, but 'the results are not finalized'. The word the entire answer as if the abuse as in fact occurred.
* The allegations seem to have changed 3 times. Originally it was just about the 2 year old daughter's statement about touching on the first weekend. Then it was all the children including the boys. Now in her answer filed, it seems its just the girls now, yet nowhere is there a mention of my oldest girl ever claiming such.
* She is asking for termination of access, and saying that I should not even have supervised with family because we will grill the children with questions.
* My affidavit includes 30+ pieces of evidence including phone recordings, emails and her facebook screenshots.
** One phone recording is from a past incident that has her hysterically accusing me of putting the kids at risk of molestation, simply because i had my gf's daughter over for a sleepover. She witheld sleepovers for several months because of the great risk i allegedly put the kids in.
** Another phone recording is from a weekend where she, on the phone, coached my son into repeating that he did not want to come over to see me, then saying he's not coming because he doesn't want to. She repeats the same phrase 12 times to the 1yr old to convince him he does not want to see daddy. its hard to describe here but the call is very sickening and is pretty clear proof of alienating behavior.
** I have a forum post made by her from when we were married where she details her suspicion that our 2yr old son is a sexual deviant and predator. All this because he showed some normal curiousity. Again the post is quite sickening but hard to summarize here.
** I have many many examples of her controlling/alienating behavior, such as emails scolding me for feeding them "grocery store meat". (I'm only allowed to feed them food from sources she approves, this is part of her parenting requirements).
** She admitted in her answer that she herself was sexually abused by a male family member, but denies any plays into her actions.
** She insists that she home school the kids using an "unschooling" approach. I have her admitting to doing "unschooling" on facebook. My oldest son cannot read and my daughter has extreme shyness around strangers. In her answer she is blaming those behaviors on the alleged sexual abuse. I'm opposing the homeschooling and basing my argument for custody largely on this issue.
* There are prior incidences of her calling CAS on me for trivial reasons, which CAS closed without concern. She's been trying to get me "in trouble" for some time, and it seems now she's found something sickening enough to lie about that people seemed too shocked to disbelieve.
At this point, I'm waiting for the case conference and the CAS disclosure of their files on our family. This has been a complete nightmare for me as you can imagine. So, any feedback or advise will be helpful, but I have a few specific questions:
A) Will all of my evidence of her alienating and damaging behaviors even matter to the court? I'm hearing alot of stories on here about court ignoring evidence and im getting worried. My allegations against her are not as shocking as hers, but mine are 100% truthful and backed up with hard evidence. Will the judge consider her past alienating/vindictive/persecuting behaviors when looking at her allegations? Remember she is the only person (AFAIK) that the kids allegedly said these things too.
B) When is the realistic time frame of when I will see my kids again (even supervised)? Its already been 5 months and I'm sure the kids miss me very much. We had great relationship and I gave all 4 much love and attention all the time.
C) If it is revealed that their mother exaggerated/overreacted/manipulated these accusations, will their be any redress? Will this influence the court to give me custody?
Any help or advise is needed, or just to talk. I'm really having trouble hanging on the this fight. Only the love for my 4 kids is sustaining me, but I feel if i dont get some help/support soon, I might not be able fight on much longer.
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